Herman by Jim Unger for October 21, 2024

Unreasonable priorities.

On the other hand, crocodiles got to eat too.

If she doesn’t want to buy another one, let her go after it.

Which reminds me of a “Mommy, Mommy” joke I made up once:

“Mommy, Mommy, why would pirates hide their treasure in the zoo?”

“Shut up and search the lion pit!”

If he survives, the hospital bills will be more than $6.

‘The kid threw it in- the kid can fetch it out.’

“If you can see a crocodile, it is probably hunting you. If you can’t see a crocodile, it is definitely hunting you.”

- Rudyard Kipling

As Pictured: The mundane sequel to ‘Peter Pan’: How Captain Hook — long since reformed, retired, and married — lost his other hand.

The man shall be known as Lefty from here on out.

“And while you’re at it, bring me back a pair of shoes with matching handbag”.

No, but you would pay $6 for another ham.

Alligators show up in the pond behind my house.

Heh. This has the appearance at this point of attempted murder.

Never smile at a crocodile

So that’s all he’s worth? Time for a change of address.

I like a lively obituary.

At the aquarium in SF, the alligators were covered with pennies from people making wishes. They hardly ever flinched

Shouldn’t he be writing a will first?

Well it’s cheaper then having to pay the upcoming hospital bill

Lady, at your age and looks a new husband will not be free.

“Mommy, why did you throw it in there?”

I’d tell her to get it….in fact, I would insist.

His life insurance should cover the cost of a new frisbee.

Throw her in there.