Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for November 07, 2023

“So I’m taking over delivery duties. I’ll be in my bicycle every morning, throwing newspapers onto your porches!”“Can you do that job single-handed?”“Not to worry! Becky Howard will help—we just shook hands on hiring her!”

“Of course, Clyde’s a senior citizen like us, depends on this job to survive, and is now in constant pain and can’t walk, but you all have to admit my Thurberesque quip was smirkworthy!”

Here’s your chance, Crankers! Explain how Clyde breaking his hip and wrecking his car is funny! He’s so poor, he needs the pennies they pay to deliver a dying medium just to survive! He was living in that 43-year old car they towed away! Clyde’s in agony because they didn’t give him health insurance! He and his 75 year old wife will soon be living on the streets! HA. HA. HA. EXPLAIN FUNNINESS, CRANKERS. And, as always, go straight to personal invective, it’s not like you got anything else.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha …ha ….ha…. ha ………ha ……………ha………………………..ha……?

So he’s had a major medical emergency and now has no transportation? Yeah, that’s…not funny…

Oh no! Could Skip actually consider hiring Ed Crankshaft to deliver the morning paper? That’s another opportunity to knock more mailboxes down!

They should have Crankshaft pinch hit for Clyde.

I may have to revise my estimation of Dan Davis. Combining a full beard with a smirk is not easy.

Panel Four, omitted due to space limitations:

Skip (thought cloud): “four second pause for chuckles from the audience…”

SFX: crickets chirping

Where’s Crankshaft?

It is a terrible situation ……….the comment was a way used to made light of no papers delivered not the misfortune of the car and person.

the plot thickens

howed that guy lose his arm ?hopefully a alligator bite

These things, unfortunately, happen.

Is all conversation in this universe pun-based?

“Also, if you pay your carrier with a sock full of pennies, you may see some service disruptions.”

This is hilarious. Perhaps Mr Writer will expand on the deplorable Mr. Peterson’s situation by telling us his 1980 station broke down on the way to Wal-Mart. A common Crankshaft theme; take glee in the misery of others. But hey, it’s only a comic strip.

HIS Eagle Will Soon Soar Again! One Nation Under GOD! GOD Bless America!

Hey Skip, I hope you’re properly armed to deal with the consequences of that joke.

You like tasteless jokes, Skip? Try these on for size.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm in a work accident? He’s all right now.

I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second-hand store. I told him, “You’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”

I was talking via sign language with a one-armed man… The problem is I was only getting half of what he was saying.

I ran into a one-armed fisherman. I asked if he had any luck. He said “Yeah, caught one this big.”

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? You wave at her.

Hands down, this one is the best. What do you call a water skier with no arms and no legs? Skip.

Well let him ride on Crankshafts bus. It won’t help the delivery problem but Clyde can ride in discomfort.

Well that was a lot of verbiage for an almost joke at the end. He could have almost mentioned the guy’s TV being out, meaning three things broke down. 33% more laughs!

I haven’t subscribed in years, but I read on the local newspapers Facebook page recently that they were going to switch to being delivered by the postal service.

And in both cases, it’s always a ball-joint that fails.

“And I just got an update from Clyde’s wife. It turns out that now he is as dead as the car’s battery!” chortled Skip, the tactless wonder.

Must be a small weekly paper

Haha! (＾▽＾)