Last Kiss by John Lustig for October 09, 2024

The girl that’s got everything…

When you have crabs, you get a razor, a match, and an ice pick. You shave off half of your pubic hair and set fire to the other half. When the crabs run out of the fire, you stab them to death with the ice pick.

“On second thought…”

See? Me was tolds you you cannot trust Goldilocks.

Pick some big ones and we’ll have a boil.

I am going to give you a chance to become “Mother of the year”.

she’s kinda crabby…

[nsfw] Guy walks into the VD* clinic and sees a woman sitting there.

“You! You’re the b***ch who gave me this clap!”

“Honey, I didn’t give you nothing. You paid for it!”

*VD, STI, STD…it’s all rock and roll to me.

Her name must be Patty. And she just started working at Wendy’s.

In Science Fiction stories, this was often a potential problem for Space Travelers crossing through the Crab Nebula.

She got crabs and he loves seafood… Match made in heaven!

When he said he’d give her something that lasts forever, she thought she was getting a diamond ring. Instead, he gave her herpes.

OUCH!

“I have something I wanna give you!”

“I hope it’s not crabs… ’cause I already have those!”

“…A wide berth!”

Do we have any AC/DC fans here? The album Backtracks was all deep cuts and unreleased music. Crabsody In Blue has the great Bon Scott lyrics, and Angus shows what a great blues guitarist he is. It’s on Spotify.

5. Difficulty in locating each other’s lips when attempting to kiss.

(From the list of difficulties encountered while dating when guy and gal are both blind)

“How about a yeast infection, then?”

She sounds crabby.

Boiled or baked?

You need to be careful about public toilets. She looks too pure to have gotten them any other way.

For cheap thrills, take a listen to the Lords of Acid “The Crablouse” song. Proving that there are no limits to human sexuality.

“don’t look for the shrimp boats Ma, I’m coming home with the crabs.”

And she’s is proud of it……..sheesh!

Ouch … he definitely didn’t want to hear that