Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 31, 2014

What are you trying to do, Stephan, speed up the divorce?

Sing along with Sherlock: “Dunk rye for me, Arch and Tina…”

Back to the drawing board (no pun intended).

Yeah, if you want a stable marriage, never pick someone with “standards”.

You’re lucky she didn’t take pot shots at you.

Kicked to the curb again.

Stephie just put whoa to woo.

Is the strip turning into a reality series?

Thank God for women with bad taste in men!

He’s married?!!!! How?!!!!

and she said that she ‘loved me’ once {once}

Meesta Pasties lucky Messus Pasties no have gun. No jurie wood convick her for shoooteng.

Staci, Staci! What are you doing to us? Please, take Cartoon-Boy back, even if you have to put a muzzle on him to stop the puns!

well, he is no john cusack, and she isn’t ione skye

Bad move Steph. Nobody wants that.

One year my wife cried on her birthday because I didn’t make her one of my home made cards on corrugated cardboard with lettering and illustrations in a black marker.

Where did he get a boombox? From a junkyard?

He’ll just trot on over to the proctologist now and see if the doctor can recover his boom box.

Wow, that didn’t work? :D

I’m still emotionally scarred. Having a difficult time recovering from this, yesterday.

It’s hard to imagine how Pastis’ head fits into the panels.

Take him back. We need ideas for new Pig & Pigata strips.

It is hard to woo her. Yes, it really is. But worth it (at least to rat and pig)

Stephan, you silver-tongued devil! You always know just the right thing to say.

Hey! There should be a Pearls Puns book.

Reciting his favorite Pearls Puns? How loud do you have to turn up silence?

Instead of puns, Steph should play a romantic song, such as “Drink To Me Only With ThinEyes, There’s Not Enough Beer For Two”!!

That shoulda been “Thine Eyes”!

Poor Stephan. Just waiting for Rat to make a crack…

xxx

Is he trying to make sure she doesn’t let him back?

Silence is golden. Or as my pappy used to say, “The way to be the funniest person in the room is to be the only person in the room.”

“Woe to whoa to woo.”WOW!

What a bunch of delightful comments! I laughed at every one of them. But someone once said, “Small things amuse small minds.”

also a good one!

I sure hope this isn’t happening to Stephan and Staci (if there is a Staci). :(

There IS a Staci. And I hope it isn’t actually happening, too. But it does make for some funny strips.

The first thing any significant other of mine needs to know is that puns would totally win me back.