Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 01, 2015

Gravity always wins.

You know, I’ve never understood it either. My wife and I go to the movies.

Leave it to Goat to spoil the fun. Anyway, let’s go, Seahawks Corporation!

I recently read an article that explains it. It’s all very scientific. Rooting for a team gives us something to identify with. It makes us feel part of something.There’s more to it than that of course, but I don’t remember most of the article.Suffice it to say, this is why we never look at the cold, hard facts, ever. It leads to disillusionment and getting us tossed out of parties.

I’m siding with Paris Goat on this; if it weren’t for all the wild commercials, I probably wouldn’t watch the Super Bowl at all.

I’m one of those guys who never gets invited to the parties. I couldn’t care less which rich guy’s company wins. In fact, I don’t even know which rich guys’ companies are competing.

The Seahawks are my last corporate affiliation. That and the Dodgers.

Whenever someone at works asks me who won the football game I always reply “Probably one of the teams”.

Rat: “Some people you just don’t invite to Super Bowl parties.”Pig: “Anyone with a measurable IQ?”Rat: “That’s why I invited you here.”

Wow, a literal spoilsport

A good football game is like a ballet in many acts.

I’m not too sure about two teams of men in tight shiny pants bent over a piece of pigskin… but women’s beach volleyball… now there’s a sport I can get behind.

I’m with Rat on this one. Sure it’s easy to be smug about how superior one is because one doesn’t take an interest in something as pedestrian as pro sports. And of course it’s only a game, nothing of lasting import or long-term significance to the human condition. But life should be just plain fun sometimes too. The fact is that these folks have an exceedingly rare ability to do something that is extraordinarily hard, extraordinarily well. It is akin to listening to a first class professional musician play their instrument.

Goat should go home and listen to NPR, or whatever it is those “superior” types do to flaunt their distain for popular sports.Sure, it’s all way too commodified, but there is still a game somewhere within all the hype. So, let us the masses have our bread and circuses, or else look forward to your Last Tumbril Ride….

thank you, Goat. go Seahawks!

My day today will be babysitting my neighbors’ kids whilst they are at work, so that means the “Kitten Bowl” and the “Puppy Bowl” (their and my favorites), followed by a good book, a cup of tea, and a timer for the halftime show alert.

I love Superbowl Sunday, it’s the least crowded Sunday to be out hiking.

Goat said my thoughts exactly. Though I’m not rude enough to spoil superbowl parties, I’ve never understood getting happy/angry/excited for teams. That apathy extends to the Olympics. I’m glad all of these athletes are doing their best…but their winning/losing doesn’t affect me in any way.

“Hooray. The guys wearing shirts the same color as the one I’m wearing just did what they were hired to do!”

Rat is a sore winner.

Well, my team isn’t in the Big Game this year (thanks to everyone getting stupid in the last 5 minutes of the NFC Championship) but by Goat’s standard I’m O.K.: Many of my friends are partial owners of the team and my 8-year-old goes to school with Jordy Nelson’s cousin.

I kinda think about sports like I think about sex…nothing!

Stephen would have had to pull this one if the Packers would have made it to the Super Bowl.

The Ssun-Sentinel showed it’s colors by not running Pearls Before Swine after the Mohammed series this past week. Excuse me while I cancel my subscription.

Being a cat lover, I wanted to see either the Bengals, or the Lions, or the Panthers, in Super Bowl XLIX.Tomorrow, since I used to live in Boston, I want to see people in Seattle wearing shirts that say “Wait until LAST year!”.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ – huh! what? oh, the stupid bowl, yep, there’s no joy in Mudville this year.

The exception is the Green Bay Packers that is owned by everyday people.

This isn’t true of one team— The Green Bay Packers. That team is actually owned by 99%ers, you can buy stock in it just like any other company, and owners and season ticket holders pass their ownership in the team down from generation to generation. It is pretty silly to root for your hometown team when your hometown is paying some rich guy to keep the team in your town, and he is blackmailing the city with the threat of moving somewhere that pays better each time the contract comes up.

The only reason I know which teams are playing this year is because I’m originally from New England and now live 150 miles from Seattle.

I probably will watch a few minutes of the game and later watch all the commercials online.

Perhaps a few minutes of the half-game show too in hopes there is another “wardrobe malfunction”! ;-)

I just like watching a bunch of millionaires wrestling over a ball. This year, I have to choose which team of millionaires I hate the least, and cheer for them to beat up the team of millionaires I absolutely despise. Not much fun in that. Maybe I’ll read instead.

they weren’t my teams either Rat….

What you say is also true of rooting for a political party. I’m not a sports fan myself, but as long as you aren’t acting like a Man United yobbo your behavior is a lot more benign in its effects than being one of the Republicrat faithful.

As a shareholder, I can say with certitude that the Green Bay Packers ARE my team. We don’t need no steenkin’ billionaires like those two teams playing today do.

We do, however, need to figure out how not to collapse over the final three minutes of a game.

I’m with goat. Cheering because one group of millionaires beat another playing a kids game to make billionaires richer.

While I agree with most of what you say, I do believe that several of the teams DO reflect and represent the community in which they play, e.g., Packers, Bills, Steelers (a not meant to be complete list … merely some examples of teams I believe do reflect their community)

The spectator sports industry is a low quality form of entertainment. They hype the athletes who utter banal platitudes in a pathetic attempt to make the chasing of a toy sound profound and worthy of the public’s attention. The sports industry encourages individuals to part with their money and vicariously experience an activity that any able bodied person can do themselves. They have created a facade of conflict by having each team represent a community although few if any of the athletes have ancestral or even native claim to the community which they represent. Members of the public who desire that their community be lauded on the ephemeral actions of a few will hinge their sense of self worth on a set of numbers and statistics rather than their own accomplishments and the true attributes of their community. Sports casters recite names and numbers in a futile attempt to make the activity seem viable and to the betterment of our world. Ultimately it is all forgotten by many, cherished by few and to no betterment of anybody’s lives but for the two groups of adults who are paid way too much to chase a toy around a field.

That’s why, while I enjoy watching sports, I never get too wrapped up in them. I couldn’t care less about some guys being obscenely paid for their own personal glory.

I get my self-esteem from what I do, not from what a pack of ball-chasers does.

I have absolutely zero interest in professional sports, but I have to say that goat was just plain rude, and I fully support rat’s reaction to that.

I may be a spoilsport, but I’m also a realist. For those that love sports-and believe me I work with a ton of them and love them all-I’m glad you get enjoyment from this. However, for those of use who see commercial sports as kinda dumb, isn’t another perspective allowed?

reality is around us and is usually for the most part very serious or even downright depressing. a ‘little’ escapism allows us to hopefully deal a little more sanely with our reality. thus movies, sports, reading of fiction and even some non-fiction, internet, video games etc. etc. allows each to find their own way to cope with the stresses of everyday life. to belittle others way of escapism by saying your escapism is more mature or intelligent than their escapism or to force them to face the reality of their escapism – may be pointing out the problem of human nature – mainly everybody is wrong but me and those who think like me. so goat you are right about the reality that you explained to rat – however taking away rats way of escapism by trying to make him see the ‘reality’ of his escapism, should imho get you tossed out of his house.

Basketball and soccer have a similar effect on people. Water polo and synchronized swimming, not so much. Must have something to do with throwing cold water on people’s emotions.

all time best companion youtubey on this same topic was made by waay too cuties Garfunkel & Oates, titled “GO SPORTS GO” runtime is under 3mins:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fraSdN-PG8

Remind me to show Goat my Super Bowl ring sometime

Goat is right on! It’s not about sports, it’s about money, and has been for about the last 40 years, perhaps more. If the salaries were lower, and tickets were actually cheap to get into pro sporting events, I’ll bet the crowds and the interest would actually go down. It’s big business entertainment—pro wresting in a different format.

Superbowl? What’s that?

So, which commercial won?

Now that “my” team lost (The Ocean Avian Fish Eaters) I say, “All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?” [/sourgrapes] [/bandwagon]

Rat is wearing red, which is one of the colors of the winning team. But where is it still daylight at the end of the Superbowl?

Now that’s one thing rat has done that I totally agree with. Right on rato.

I think most people have boiled this down to Goat condemning professional football in general. I think Goat’s main contention wasn’t with watching the game, or even having a rooting interest. I think it was the phase “my team”. Calling out people who say “we” when referring to a professional sports team is a time-honored tradition.

I root for the only publicly owned, non-rich-guy’s team. And yes, I “own” a share (meaning I get to vote for the board of directors). So I’d challenge Goat’s premise from the very beginning!!

Nailed it.

Pastis has raised his bar by a lot in 2015 compared to last year which had a bit of a slump. What will he think of next?

Gotta go with Rat over Goat on this. It’s called being a fan. I could care less for football, or basketball (especially basketball), but I still get it. Rat probably supports the team by buying their overpriced merchandise.

Years ago, a British university banned the use of the phrase “my wife”, because it implied ownership of a human being.

HAHA, that’s the stupidity of being a sports fan. You are cheering for a bunch of rich morons, under contract of a much richer @$$€0£&, play a children’s ball game against esch other.

A person could always have their home team win by defining their “home team” as whichever town that is playing they’re closer to. So they could go to a spot halfway between the two towns, and then move to the side of whatever team is winning!