Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for August 11, 2023

Of course. “Because!” Doesn’t get old, does it?

Do your worst. No, seriously, show me your wrath already. I want to suffer it.

Dakota used her bad vibes to destroy bad vibes for the good vibes to prolong. Now that is a true anti-hero’s arc!

Scoff not at kitty wrath! Those pawfuls of claws don’t get nicknames like “murder mittens” and “death daggers” for nothing!

That’s using the brain well there, Dakota.

Oh no. It will urinate on my couch after clawing it to pieces. How will I survive?

Projectile-hairballs (even though the cat is hairless)?

Good riddle Dakota!

Moggy done.

If the cat finds out where you live, it might wait for you to go to sleep and then jump on your head in the middle of the night.

phoebe and Mari are just so used to the weird stuff they can’t see a talking cat is just a talking cat. I mean it is objectively neat though.

Will there be wrath tomorrow?!

Hack, hack. Hairball on the pillow!

It’s not really funny because there are some cats that literally will slice up your legs if you try to go past them they’re not playing some cats are mean and extremely territorial maybe more so than dogs.

What’s the worst they can do? let me think.

Deep claw lacerations requiring stitches, losing your eyes, serious cellulitis infection and cat scratch fever is a real thing I promise.

Outdoor cats may spread more illnesses.

Both Phoebe and Marigold are flabbergasted. Dakota is not a RPG fan. She cut right to the chase.

Now why didn’t the ancient Greeks think of that with their Sphinx?

Didn’t you hear him say “because”? FOOOOOLS!!!

If you mess with the kitty, they’ll change your name to Claude.

I’ll… I’ll… scorn the food you’ll give me! I’ll run amok through your room at 2 am! I’ll shred your new curtains to oblivion! Beware of the Kitty’s Curse!

In George R.R. Martin’s science fiction short story “Second Helpings,” the main character discovers a very inaccurate movie has been made about his previous visit to the planet S’uthlam. When listing some of the distortions, he mentions that his “harmless though spirited” cat Havoc is portrayed as a cuddly-looking killing machine. “At no point,” he recalls, “did she rip even a single security man apart with her claws, let alone six of them.”

That’s using your head for more than a hair holder, Dakota!

If Marigold were in charge of the gate the reply would be, "Because… UNICORN! "

“Because… CAT! " doesn’t have quite the same impact.

Dakota saved the day. Good thing she’s here.

Kitty wrath is real

Whoa whoa whoa, Dakota, do not underestimate Kitty Wrath!

GREAT closing line!

Be careful where you put your shoes when you take them off.

I love the look on Dakots’s face!

Phoebe saw through the cat’s riddles, and Dakota saw through the cat.

They just incurred… a kitty grudge!

Watch it Dakota, if that were my new rescue, your ankles would have already been sliced and diced!

Dakota saves the day. Who’d have thunk it.

Sphynx have human heads and dangerous powers.

Kitty wrath is nothing to sneeze at. It is, however, something to step in before you’re quite awake.

Obviously, Dakota has dealt with pests like the “Sphinx” before…..and won.

Ooooo! Angry Sphinx cat toe-beans!

moderate Squeeeeeee

https://en. m.wikipedia. org/wiki/ Sphynx_cat

Just delete the spaces

this part actually kinda sorta came true for me… except it was the lady at the train station who wouldn’t let me on with my cat… Even after i showed her the sign right next to me that said small pets are allowed on board…

meh…