Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for December 26, 2024

You’re getting your fingerprints all over it.

This seems like a silly cartoon, but it’s not far from reality. I had a kidnapping case and as first responder interviewed the victim’s wife. I couldn’t get her to talk about the ransom call, just the cake she’d been baking when the call came in. It was a true kidnapping for ransom, too, which is rare. Most are runaways or hoaxes or, sadly, kidnap/murders for sex.

and have your husband away too

Hmph. It’s not even in cursive.

On the back of the note, it says “Unless you pay the ransom, we’re bringing him back”.

Amateurs. Never hand write a ransom note! Not that I … um … would know or anything….

Do you suppose we can get a “Thank you” note to them?

I’d like to thank them for the note and wish them well with my husband.

I like to re-read my old science fiction favorites and get a chuckle out of the things the authors got wrong. One of the biggest boo-boos is in ‘Starship Troopers,’ where the military delivers snail mail on paper via FTL ships.

Spelling not required.

Officer, I’ll call you back when I actually start missing him.

Don’t pay it. Problem solved.

The criminals in the CIA still use paper?

Magazines, cursive? Are we in… The Twilight Zone?

Her hand-written response: “Thank you!”

Just to letter know.

They still don’t know who killed Jon Benet Ramsey…

Maybe she doesn’t want him back ??? ;-)

Yeah, used to be standard practice in TV and movies for ransom notes, stickup demands, and so forth to be composed of words cut out of newspapers and magazines. I guess criminals can’t be bothered with that kind of craftsmanship these days.

About the same time, it was standard practice for teachers to have us kids make little posters by cutting words and pictures out of magazines. As I got older I started to wonder if they were preparing us for a life of crime…

But…will she pay the ransom?

I’m not worried. They’ll get tired of him in a week or so. Meanwhile; peace and quiet…