Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 02, 2014
Transcript:
Elly Elephant went to bed with her teddy bear for the 11,000th straight night. "I want to be held by a living being," she cried. So Elly Elephant ventured into the world. Searching for two arms to protect her. For two hands to caress her. For two lips to kiss her. For two eyes to get lost in. Elly Elephant got a slap in the @##. Elly Elephant learned to be happy with her teddy bear.
legaleagle48 over 10 years ago
One guess as to who wrote this story!
KG1 over 10 years ago
So, Elly is at least 30 years old and just now deciding it’s time to venture out into the world . Probably should have begun her quest at an earlier age. At least she’s fortunate to have such a durable teddy to rely on.
arye uygur over 10 years ago
“Tush” comes from the Yiddish word “tuchus,” which was derived from the Hebrew word “tachat,” which means “under.” The Farsi word “takhteh,” throne, as in “Takhte Jamshid,” throne of Jamshid, is derived from the similar Arabic word as Hebrew and Arabic are very close.
Sisyphos over 10 years ago
Teddy bears are so much more trustworthy than people (or hippos, I guess)!
up2trixx over 10 years ago
Even more confusing, the euphemism for making love, and probably the single most useful word in the English language (it can mean ANYTHING) is considered the baddest of bad words, even worse than the one for excrement.
eddie6192 over 10 years ago
I’ve heard of a purple elephant before, but not of a purple hippo.
jungle68 over 10 years ago
Man, being Ellie must bite.
davidh48 over 10 years ago
And negative comments are uplifting?
Why do you bother with this strip?
Dabattlebacca over 10 years ago
Be happy with what you have.
IQTech61 over 10 years ago
I agree.
Rwill over 10 years ago
I thought arse just came from a Brit trying to say Horse.
“Look at his Arse.”
RACerri32 over 10 years ago
Laughed my arrse off this AM. Then I got a strange urge to hear some ZZ Top!
legaleagle48 over 10 years ago
Actually, I had in mind a certain misanthropic rodent who thinks he’s God’s gift to the universe!
gamer2k4 over 10 years ago
Is this the first Elly strip that doesn’t have Goat and Rat commenting on it afterward?
A_NY_Outlaw over 10 years ago
at least she got a compliment….
Godfreydaniel over 10 years ago
This must be the first one of Rat’s children’s stories to have a happy ending. (I mean, even the word “happy” is in the last panel!) Although she doesn’t seem to be impressed by that hungry, hungry hippo……..
kd1sq Premium Member over 10 years ago
c.davies – don’t think of it as depressing – think of it as being realistic.
I’ve maintained for years that ‘pessimist’ is an optimist’s word for a realist.
Chris Sherlock over 10 years ago
Elly should go to the zoo and look for a male elephant.
vldazzle over 10 years ago
@Chris,Precisely! Everyone needs to find a proper match (she is not matched with a hippo and should not have to settle for something inanimate – or even a pet). I didn’t settle; I found a great man who’s a perfect match (and we’re in our 70s- chances for everyone- INCLUDING ELLY !
Number Three over 10 years ago
I don’t blame you, Elly.
I’ve never bothered with relationships and I don’t regret my decision one bit!
xxx
Alexander the Good Enough over 10 years ago
Aw heck. Sweet Elly just needs to get a larger teddy bear and then fit it out with a suitable strap-on. Far safer and not so disappointing.
lmonteros over 10 years ago
This is why I gave up on eHarmony. Different expectations, and none worth the “viva la….”
ChrisV over 10 years ago
Women just want romance, men just want sex.That’s the over-generalization, isn’t it?
vwdualnomand over 10 years ago
better than an inanimate object than some lying, cheating scumbag.
lakita_lover over 10 years ago
Sounds like my life. hugs Elly
alantain over 1 year ago
Then Ella Elephant stomped on his head. The end.
Snuffles [Previously Helikitty] 6 months ago
11,000 nights in 30.14 years.