Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 13, 2016

I can use my headphones for that.

The when would actually been when most of us started getting answering machines and realized we could let the machine both answer the calls and screen them for us. Now I get the phone number on my TV screen, if I recognize the number and/or name I pick up rather than let it go to the machine. If I don’t, it’s answering machine time. 80% of all calls that go to the machine actually hang up. Of the other 20% I’d say 15 – 18% computers programmed to call cause they always have a mechanical voice and 3 – 5% are actual people but usually folks I have no clue who they are are who aren’t looking for me.

Not me, but is there any “Pearls” reader here who still has a corded telephone in their house?

Just wait until the telemarketers get your cell numbers. It’s going to happen sooner or later.

I got rid of mine a couple of years ago. Thought about keeping it for hypothetical emergencies, but decided it wasn’t worth it.But I get presumed telemarketer calls on my mobile, too (I don’t pick it up if I don’t recognize the number). The official do not call register is a joke.

I have only a landline. But, alas, what Rat says seem to be true. 90% or more of all calls I receive, I hang up on within seconds, because they are telemarketing or solicitations for donations. Only rarely is there a call of any value these days. And what Kaputnik says about the “do not call” registry is too true….

I still have a corded telephone! I cancelled the service to it about 20 years ago, but it still hangs on the wall. Period piece.

The main value of a land line is that you can use it to call your cell phone and figure out where you left it this time.

Well, now thanks to Rat, we have another method on how to deal with burglars.

I still have a landline. I find it does not work well as a strangulation device but it is fine for bludgeoning. I could never understand why I would want a cell phone – go outside to make phone calls? Sheesh!

Hey, huh,what did you say? At times I feel a cell phone is like an old CB Radio. When I need to talk business I tell the other person to find a land-line so we may talk and not be saying: HEY,huh,What did you say ?

I use my land line to call my electric company when the power goes out.

I use my house phone all the time, but it’s a cordless.

I got a telemarketer girl call me from India or someplace and asked if I was the head of the house. So I asked her if she was naked and she hung up on me and never called back.. LOL

As a friend of mine told me: A phone is a device for me to make outgoing calls.

Regrettably we still have a landline as part of our triple play package with Comcast. This morning at 12:33am my wife informed we had a phone call I didn’t hear. Of course it was a wrong number. At least with a cell you can put it on do not disturb if you want

I’m old enough to remember human operators, party lines, and phones that could be used as murder instruments.

This brings up another matter to me. I keep hearing about the “polls” and what they say. I think it should be, “Candidate X had a 54% approval rating among those who still have land lines with no caller ID.”

The telemarketers already have my cell number. I put their number in a contact called “Junk”, which has a silent ringtone, that is, no ringtone at all.

Does anybody get breathers anymore? I guess it’s too easy to trace calls now. Years ago, I had one who would actually leave breathing on the answering machine. Pretty sad, huh?

Hey Rat, in my area there is a telemarketing company that leaves messages, if you don’t return the call they call every legal hour every day until you do, no night time calls. If you want it to stop you have to call them and ask to be removed from the list, however you have to listen to the spill first. I keep wondering how they even stay in business.

The Do Not Call list used to work, once upon a time. Once when I was visiting home, my mom answered the phone and said, “Hello? Hello? F—- YOU!!!” [SLAM!] Not unusual behavior from my mother. But then just a few minutes went by, and it happened again. “Hello? Hello? F—- YOU!!!” [SLAM!] Like others here, she never joined the Do Not Call list because she was sure it was a scam for collecting gullible phone numbers. Then I realized I could just put my mom on the list for her. It’s a little illegal, but it’s for a good cause. She seemed much more calm the next time I saw her.

I have a corded phone as well as a cell phone, which means that:

1. I can send and receive calls even during a days-long power outage, and

2. I don’t have to use up my cell-phone minutes while I’m at home.

As for salesmen and wrong numbers, that’s what the answering machine is for.

I have a reason for keeping my landline, other than those listed here: If the children/grandchildren call, both my wife and I can be on the phone with them simultaneously. Don’t think our cell phones can do that unless we go to Facetime, and our cell service is too sketchy for that to be reliable.

I have both a landline and a cell phone. Use the cell phone when out of the house (but only a few people have the number) and the landline for the rest which has caller identification. If the number is unfamiliar or from some peculiar out-of-state place I simply hit “talk” immediately followed by “off”. Works beautifully and takes 1 second.

I hardly ever get nuisance calls on my phone but we get them often on the house phone.Those are the times when I need Rat.xxx

I have a land line still, but only because a lot of people have that number. I actually have it forwarding to my cell phone. If I could assign both numbers to my cell phone I would get rid of the land line.

I still have a landline for the reason that others have stated. The only reason I have a cell is that I blew out a tire on the freeway late one Sunday night. I then found that the jack that Ford had supplied with my truck was insufficient to lift the truck off the front tires. After about an hour somebody came by with a better quality jack and got me on my way.

I still have an old corded phone in basement, still works cause we are old farts with a landline and cell phones

I like it when the call’s voice is generated by a computer. Someone is probably listening and pressing buttons to generate the correct recorded response. I try to keep the conversation going for as long as possible but know that it is over when it says “would you like to speak to my supervisor?”

We also keep our landline with a couple of corded phones connected. They work during power failures (we get several a year, occasionally long-lastng), and they insure we can get to 911 if we need to. As long as you have a plain old (no wall warts or batteries in there) phone, it gets its power from the phone line itself. (Long how-the-phone-works rant stifled.)