Santa exists in a post-scarcity utopia where anything you want is available through the miracle of pattern replication. All he needs is power, which he gets from a massive array of solar collectors which is wirelessly transmitted back to the north pole using a microwave beam.
“…and then where will I be.” In 2018 staring down deficits that would crush any other country on the planet. But hey, just keep buying stuff and it’ll all be okay….right? The piper is never gonna have to be paid…right?
You should see the marketing agreements St. Nick has with the toy companies. Why do you think there’s a new “hot toy” each year? High bid = sold out toy.
“Look, Charlie Brown, we all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.” Lucy to Charlie Brown in “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” First aired December 9th, 1965.
It’s very simple. Would you leavey our doors open at night while you sleep? No, but we let Santa into our houses through our chimneys, and while we sleep with visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads, he loots the place. The reindeer make a racket on the roof, so we don’t hear Santa. Then he quickly scarfs down the milk and cookies, and, with a merry “Ho Ho Ho”, off he goes to the next victim. QED
Ask the U.S.A. government. They will explain how to ignore insurmountable debt and live happily forever. One of their ideas is to build 3 H-Bombs for every person on earth. Another plan is to blame the other or minor Congressional party when the Collection Agency comes-a-calling.
The dollar will probably have to be renamed as an OPM which is code for other people’s money. When the Santa Claus party finally regains power and everything becomes free for everybody we will eventually run out of OPM’s.
Why his technology uses molecular recombination to manufacture what he needs. So he is richer than anyone can be and older too. And most of all happier.
BE THIS GUY almost 6 years ago
Santa will just have to raise taxes on the elves and use generic reindeer feed.
The Calvinosaurus That Calvin Wanted To Discover almost 6 years ago
Santa has a lot of money!
codycab almost 6 years ago
Santa is a really busy guy.
Templo S.U.D. almost 6 years ago
I bet Santa just goes around The Home Depot or Lowe’s or somewhere in order to obtain the raw materials, Calvin.
Robin Harwood almost 6 years ago
What makes Calvin think Santa pays the elves?
nosirrom almost 6 years ago
Loading sixteen tons.
Another day older and deeper in debt.
wcorvi almost 6 years ago
You better watch out, you better not cry Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is dead!
orinoco womble almost 6 years ago
Because the entire polar ice-cap is one huge free port, Calvin. Of course, global warming has really shrunk Santa’s assets…
Kaputnik almost 6 years ago
It’s a really complex money laundering operation.
bluram almost 6 years ago
In the first grade as usual, year after year.
Scorpio Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Santa exists in a post-scarcity utopia where anything you want is available through the miracle of pattern replication. All he needs is power, which he gets from a massive array of solar collectors which is wirelessly transmitted back to the north pole using a microwave beam.
dewcoons almost 6 years ago
Its not going to affect you at all, Calvin. Only the good kids get the toys.
Lenavid almost 6 years ago
He funds his operation with magic, like all other deficit spending operations. He uses other peoples’ money.
jpayne4040 almost 6 years ago
You’ll be depending on your parents for all of your toys!
cubswin2016 almost 6 years ago
Calvin does not understand magic. He should watch The Polar Express.
jrankin1959 almost 6 years ago
Always back to the primary focus…
WoodstockJack almost 6 years ago
I dunno, Cal, but I think we’ll be finding out soon enough.
YippiKiAyMofo almost 6 years ago
“…and then where will I be.” In 2018 staring down deficits that would crush any other country on the planet. But hey, just keep buying stuff and it’ll all be okay….right? The piper is never gonna have to be paid…right?
guenette.charlie(BozoKnows) almost 6 years ago
Santa has extensive agreements with various toy manufacturers around the world, then sends his elves to pick up the finished products.
mourdac Premium Member almost 6 years ago
You should see the marketing agreements St. Nick has with the toy companies. Why do you think there’s a new “hot toy” each year? High bid = sold out toy.
flemmingo almost 6 years ago
If Washington can do it so can Santa!
Motormaniac almost 6 years ago
Volume; Santa does tremendous volume…
ericbutts74 almost 6 years ago
It’s a Pyramid with Elves on the bottom and Mrs. Claus working the Ponzi angle.
sandpiper almost 6 years ago
Who says childhood is not a good preparation for adult life? In childhood, it’s me, me, me. An adult says, _ it’s I, I, I.
Bookworm almost 6 years ago
mountainclimber almost 6 years ago
What a clever metaphor for the wastrel in the white house.
Herb L 1954 almost 6 years ago
A lump of coal,and a bunch of switches for you,Calvin ;(
Ray*C almost 6 years ago
It’s very simple. Would you leavey our doors open at night while you sleep? No, but we let Santa into our houses through our chimneys, and while we sleep with visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads, he loots the place. The reindeer make a racket on the roof, so we don’t hear Santa. Then he quickly scarfs down the milk and cookies, and, with a merry “Ho Ho Ho”, off he goes to the next victim. QED
DCBakerEsq almost 6 years ago
It’s all Chinese money.
Ermine Notyours almost 6 years ago
Whatever Santa does, Toys ‘R’ Us didn’t figure it out.
streetbeater almost 6 years ago
[ insert political rant about [deficit spending][socialism][irrelevant topic] here ]
paullp Premium Member almost 6 years ago
The only simple, straightforward and correct answer to Calvin’s question is: magic!
zeexenon almost 6 years ago
Ask the U.S.A. government. They will explain how to ignore insurmountable debt and live happily forever. One of their ideas is to build 3 H-Bombs for every person on earth. Another plan is to blame the other or minor Congressional party when the Collection Agency comes-a-calling.
Doug Taylor Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Out of the mouth of babes
rAtkinson almost 6 years ago
I would just bill the parents, “or next year I won’t bring them anything, and you’l have to explain”.
gantech almost 6 years ago
Even a six year old sees that deficit spending doesn’t work.
Scoutmaster77 almost 6 years ago
I think Santa eats Chinese food now.
FredCapp almost 6 years ago
Just a small reminder, St. Nicholas is also the patron saint of thieves.
Sailor46 USN 65-95 almost 6 years ago
The Ultimate Pymiard scheme.
ChessPirate almost 6 years ago
He’s got a huge milk and cookie business, Calvin…
watashi73 almost 6 years ago
The dollar will probably have to be renamed as an OPM which is code for other people’s money. When the Santa Claus party finally regains power and everything becomes free for everybody we will eventually run out of OPM’s.
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Calvin, why is it ALWAYS about you?
Stephen Gilberg almost 6 years ago
Maybe Santa secretly owns a megacorporation.
anomaly almost 6 years ago
Santa’s good at making things. He probably prints his own money.
Nuke Road Warrior almost 6 years ago
Santa is financed by protection money from parents of children like you. No protection money, you’re on the naughty list and no toys for you.
ranordsieck almost 6 years ago
OMG! Does that mean Santa is a Democrat?
craigwestlake almost 6 years ago
Working in the congressional accounting office…
hagarthehorrible almost 6 years ago
Yes, where will Calvin be once the deficit spending leads to bankruptcy of Santa. Pretty deep thinking for a five year old.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] almost 6 years ago
Why his technology uses molecular recombination to manufacture what he needs. So he is richer than anyone can be and older too. And most of all happier.
gbars70 almost 6 years ago
I’m thinking 3-D printer.
Schmevin Schmotur Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Santa can maintain the deficit spending as long as Christmas mirth remains the world’s reserve currency.