Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 31, 2020

Today’s background music: “All You Need Is Love” by The Beatles.

The guy who got whacked in the cannoli scene in The Godfather was sitting in the driver’s seat.

Life Lesson #1. Have the Rat walk the edge of a cliff.

Goat should learn that one should never stand at the edge of a cliff with Rat behind him.

The Salvatore Tessio law. Right Clemenza?

I wonder who mows the grass up there. It always looks pretty well trimmed.

What Rat learned has more practical application.

And never share a cell with a guy that plays harmonica.

“Grab whatever you can, as quick as you can, while you can!” ~ D. J. Tяцmp☠

What I’ve learnt over the years is to never doubt the one true constant: Murphy’s law

Also, don’t ride in the back seat on a bumpy road, when the person in the front passenger seat is waving his pistol around while talking.

For me it is “Never wear a different coloured top to the main actors in a SciFi movie” or a red top in a Star Trek movie/episode.

Only one commenter so far has seen Pulp Fiction?

Rat would be more of a back-seat driver anyway.

Rat that sounds like a Bucky Katt reply ;-) … Croc Power !

I’ve learned two things in my life.

1. Never get involved in a land war in Asia

2. Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line

He’s wrong. Paulie Gatto was on the driver seat.

Successful villains NEVER monologue.

Bada Bing Bada Bang! Leave the gun, take the CANNOLI!

Never wear an orange shirt on an episode of Star Trek.

Allegedly, that’s where Jimmy Hoffa sat in his last car ride.

You don’t get much love if you do not achieve anything, though.

Well, Rat only has four or five years, so there’s not much time for him to get wise.

Have an e-pass in your car so you don’t need to stop at a tollbooth!

“Death and taxes” didn’t want any of that?

… and if you’re in a horror movie, don’t go down into the dark, creepy basement to check out the weird noises.

Even if there’s been a fish back there. Maybe especially if there’s been a fish back there.

“Leave the gun, take the cannoli.”

Thanks for putting a smile on my face in these trying times……

How odd! There’s a different cartoon in my newspaper.

What I’ve learned for certain is if you want to go by your middle name, than make it your first name.

Me neither, at 77.0001.

The one thing I’ve learned is… everything changes given sufficient time.

Shake it more than three times and you’re playing with yourself. That’s all I learned ;-(

Been watching either “Goodfellas” or “The Godfather” again?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG0JPGLRaMU

Sadly they’re both right. 42 covers it.

Life’s a bitch. Then you die. Wife bought me a mug years ago with that on it. I always remember that.

For some reason, today’s Sunday comics had a completely different Pearls strip, Covid related.

I like what Goat said better. See also 1 Corinthians 13.

I learned that George Carlin was right – It’s all B.S. Just pick which version of B.S. that suits your philosophy and make your B.S.

Life is Risky, it’s really Risky when you are stupid.

Goat, Rule of Capitalism #73: When somebody says it’s not about the MONEY, they’re lying.

And there Goat stands on an edge of a cliff with Rat behind him.

What about wearing a red shirt on the set? Rat doesn’t watch Star Trek?

Isn’t it all loverly?!

Mush.

what about this, pig? https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2015/04/22

The one thing I know for certain is that you are more likely to break a tooth when your dentist isn’t available for a week.