Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 14, 2020

Welcome to 2020. “Men of Mystery” currently means – How is it he is still alive?

He’s sucking them back in a hurry. First panel no liquid line. Second panel a liquid line. Last panel no liquid line

I don’t have to talk out loud. I have no poker face so things I think apparently shows in my face.

Thinks out loud without moving his lips. The curse of the long-time ventriloqust.

Anyone ever done a film-noir detective spoof where the main character verbalizes his own narration out loud?

Hard to drink with a mask on.

Yep, A Man of Mystery. It’s a mystery to all such men as to why the animal magnetism and Old Spice are not working.

What’s the mystery for women? They don’t know why they are there or who/what they want perhaps?

Of course men of mystery talk out loud. How else can the audience follow the plot?

With the current masks we’re all men of mystery… Unless we’re women of mystery. And what I really hate is when you can’t tell if it is a man or woman of mystery.

“PUT ON A MASK”

(wonders about this piece of dialogue in the cartoon)

Foot-in-mouth is a pre-existing condition for most of us guys. There is no cure. The compensation is that occasionally one lady will take pity on one us and share our life anyway. One truly lovely girl did that for me 58 years ago, and I appreciate it more every day.

Speaking of men of mystery. . . I am SO tired of Kindle sending me come-ons for these poorly plotted, execrably written bad boy “romance” novels. Every time I turn on the damn thing, there’s an ad for another one of these silly things. . .the guy with the shirt unbuttoned to the third button—even in the wilds of Africa, on the fruited American plains, on the ice-covered floes of Antarctica. . .often just the torso . . .if he’s got a head, it’s in profile, and he’s looking over one shoulder. . .geezus. . .button your shirt, put your mask on, and gallop right off my screen. Thank you for letting me rant!

Mask or paper bag, he projects the image of a guy who needs to cover his face.

I’m all for mask wearing, but seriously, how are you to wear one while drinking at a bar? Personally, I haven’t been out to a bar since March of April of this year.

So if he has a mask on, how would he drink? Intra-anally?

I have started a fund to help our president in his time of need. It’s the “Help eject trump” fund. All of your contributions will go to my account in the Grand Caymans, where I can safely co-ordinate the passage of our fearless leader to a safe location. A location where no mean reporters will ask nasty questions.

I am in contact with the Prime Minister of Sheepshagastan and we are highly confident that the Sheepshagastanians will welcome trump with open arms. However, they are asking that a small surety be provided to cover expenses. Security, KFC, golf carts, et C.

You may be confident that every penny will be put to good use. (The dollars, not so much. ) Please give to this very ludicrous cause. Check, cash or money transfer is best, please, no loose coins.

Redd Panda, 23 Panda Lane, Panda Cay, Grand Caymans

I’m about as un-mysterious as they come. Ask Mrs. Baker. She knows.

Men of mystery do wear masks. Masks are, by nature, mysterious; go with it while you can.

There are bars open where they require you to wear a mask? I’m really thrown by this. Our bars are all closed for what I thought were obvious reasons. And I keep hearing about mega cases started by bars….

I suppose in these days of masks for all, it is a lot easier being a “whatever” of mystery. I have noticed that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and most people I have seen have dirty windows.

You can’t eat or drink and wear a mask.

I’ve never understood the appeal of “bad boys,” mysterious or otherwise…

I was going to put down what a Man of Mystery does to be successful with the ladies, but I remembered that’s forbidden by the Man of Mystery code.

The mystery about these “men of mystery” is this: being basically brainless, how can they manage to think that they think at all?

What a coincidence! I just told two proselytizers to get off my property because, one, they were not wearing face masks, two, they had no concept of being asymptomatic, three, their door to door activity was bound to bring them in contact with an asymptomatic and contagious Covid-19 carrier, four, with my luck they had just become an asymptomatic Covid-19 carrier, five, they had no concept of “R0”, R naught, six, the rate of the current Covid-19 growth has hit the nasty side of a geometric progression, seventh, those bozos were on my property!