Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 25, 2020

Don’t tell Stephan that George Blanda played until he was 48; that will just add to his delusions.

Merry Christmas

Sorry Charlie, er, Stephan. Just because a 52-year old person can almost play in the NFL doesn’t mean that you’re that person.

At the age of 52 I was two times fractured in the right femur .

Have a goodwill day , every day

Back when Nolan Ryan was playing, there was a professional athlete older than me. Then he retired.

Thanks for the “no puns” Christmas Present Mr. Pastis. I hope you (and all of us) have a merry Christmas, a safe and sane holiday season, and both survive and thrive in the coming year!

Richard Simmons is more Pastis pace.

Guns? BB guns? Spud guns? Cap guns?

Roger Moore was over 50 when he finally stopped playing James Bond. Now there’s a sign of hope for you, Stephan; you can drive fast, drink champagne, and get hot women.

Merry Xmas, y’all.

can Stephan even play pro ball with that gut? (Merry Chrismtas, Pearls readers)

Gums?

Merry Christmas everyone.

Stephan heard the Crocs have a spot on their team for you ! … Croc Power ! … Merry Christmas !

Middle aged?!? At 52??? How old are you planning to get?!

Those guns are shooting blanks.

For those who may have missed my Christmas greeting yesterday – Merry Christmas to all the GoComics community. My gift is a link to Judy Garland, singing the original 1944 lyrics to Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. With many parallels with 2020, it has become a theme for this year’s Christmas, as we all “muddle through somehow”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NQsuIHMm3w

Yeah, but you have to be unethical enough to cheat. Repeatedly.

This is what’s known as mid-life crisis…or a second childhood, perhaps?

At least you didn’t comment on the deflation of Brady’s balls!

I am 63 and still figure skating and competing against other adults. Stephan, we would welcome you! (Yes, men skate and compete too!)

This is so sad, Cartoon-Boy. George Blanda, QB and placekicker mostly with the Chicago Bears, played up to age 48 in the NFL. And, speaking of those “guns,” Mark Calaway, better known as The Undertaker, retired from pro wrestling just this year at age 55….

So, don’t be a softie [which would be obscene in Greek]!

Just don’t trust a fart.

Hope! It’s what keeps us going…..

You’d still be good for the NHL. Gordie Howe was exactly your age when he played his last game.

That’s so sad.

Funny…. Surprised there is no Christmas theme today though.

Forget those “guns” (or lack thereof) with a gut like that he could start a new character named “Pauncho”.

Hey we can dream, guns and gut too

One thing that never grows old is my good wishes for all of you to have a wonderful Christmas and a happy, prosperous, and healthy New Year!

Damn kids

Merry Christmas and a 2021 of peace and goodwill!

At 74 I still do things that my wife thinks I’m too old for.

that’s pathetic

Stephan, I don’t think you could throw a football past your feet with those pop guns…;)

75 is just around the corner for me.I’m hoping I can dig my way out of our White Christmas by Monday, for my eye doctors appointment.

MERRY CHRISTMAS DAY!!!

Steph is 30 years my junior. Merry Christmas!

Don’t think you could have played at 23……

Yeah, if you play with pop-guns.

guns or guTs?

Did the maning of almost change to “never even stood a chance because the individual was so bad”?

More of a professional Punching Bag, methinks. Or dead weight for a U.S. football blocking sled.

Yeah, Tom got SPANKED last year! To the merriment of 99.999% of the world!

Try being 66.

In your dreams, Pastis. And Merry Christmas.

Perhaps old age guns instead?

They aren’t middle aged. They are old aged guns

I used to root for Tom Brady when he was with my Patriots. But the circumstances under which he left for free agency left me with a sour, bitter taste in my mouth. I now consider him to be a traitorous (rhymes with “plastered”) and wish nothing but bad things for him. Hoping he and the Bucs lose their last two games and miss the playoffs as a result.

Everything middle-aged about those guns.

I remember thinking this when the NBA once had a 26-year-old rookie. I still had a chance. 0 to none.

I’d watch Pastis play QB in the NFL. Right up until his first sack when they cart him on the field in the hearse.

I’m as close to being able to play in the NFL now as I was in my twenties.

Hey just a quick shout out “Merry Christmas” to all those here that celebrate it, and Happy holidays to those who honor their own holiday’s. May we all see better times ahead! ;^)

Are "Pastis"’ “guns” “pea-shooters”?

Buy a sports car.

pea shooters, not guns.

By my birth certificate, I’m forty-five years old, but I’m really a fifteen year old in a 300-year old body.

And a very merry Christmas to you too!

Bro they have changed since 2002

I’m actually sad now. Stephan really isn’t gonna live forever. One day he’s going to die and draw his last comic. I hope that day doesn’t come for several more decades.