My offering for tonight:A man wants to go on an exotic vacation, so he goes to his travel agent. “Tahiti? The Bahamas? Bora Bora?” but none of these destiinations are especially appealing, so he goes away. He searches the city, going from travel agency to travel agency, but he can’t find a truly exotic destination. Finally, on a dead-end street, he comes into a small travel agency, where he’s told, “I can put you in a resort on a distant island, where, in the jungle just beyond, the drums never stop.” Well, “drums never stop” resonates with the man, and he signs up for the trip. The next day, he finds himself on an airliner headed to a distant continent; he day after that he’s on a small outlying island…and soon he’s on an outrigger with his luggage, being rowed by a native. But he can see the island, a distant speck on the horizon, and very faintly he hears the drums: boom-ba, boom-ba, boom-ba. When the outrigger reaches the shore he jumps out and excitedly runs into the resort. The drums are quite loud now: BOOM-BA, BOOM-BA, BOOM-BA. He asks the man at the front desk, “Is it really true? The drums never stop?”
“Ya, Sah, drums nevah stop!” the clerk tells him. The man is overjoyed. He checks in, has dinner and dessert, all the while listening to the drums. Finally it was bedtime…and he realizes there’s a problem: the drums were so loud, he couldn’t get to sleep. He tries closing the window, he tries putting the pillow over his head – still no good. So he goes back to the front desk and asks again, “Do the drums never stop?”
“No, Sah, drums nevah stop.”
“But I can’t get to sleep! Can’t the drums stop for just a few hours?”
“No, Sah! Drums nevah stop. Drums MUST nevah stop. Very bad, very bad if drums stop!”
“Why? What happens if the drums stop?” The clerk looks around, frightened, and responds in a voice barely above a whisper:
November saw the 50th anniversary of the exploding whale in Oregon.
A dead whale had washed up on an Oregon beach. Oregon’s beaches were maintained by the state’s Highway Department. They decided to use explosives to break the carcass into small pieces, which would be eaten by scavengers. They used about 1000 pounds of explosives. Instead of smithereens, large chunks of rotting whale were sent into the air. A reporter said the explosion “blasted blubber beyond believable bounds.” One piece landed on a new car, collapsing the roof.
When I was in school we didn’t have the career option of EOD technician specializing in carcass dispersal, though there was this kid who dropped M-80s down gopher holes.
…wouldn’t spreading hundreds of pounds of moose gore (typical moose weigh over 500 pounds) all over the place with explosives make it MORE likely to attract predators?
Buddy almost 4 years ago
Does anyone else mind if a few guys scroll the forum first thing every night with material unrelated to the comic? Write to: moderator@gocomics.com
Chad "Dimples" Applewhite (Im Back!) almost 4 years ago
L in the chat for the moose’s body
eromlig almost 4 years ago
My offering for tonight:A man wants to go on an exotic vacation, so he goes to his travel agent. “Tahiti? The Bahamas? Bora Bora?” but none of these destiinations are especially appealing, so he goes away. He searches the city, going from travel agency to travel agency, but he can’t find a truly exotic destination. Finally, on a dead-end street, he comes into a small travel agency, where he’s told, “I can put you in a resort on a distant island, where, in the jungle just beyond, the drums never stop.” Well, “drums never stop” resonates with the man, and he signs up for the trip. The next day, he finds himself on an airliner headed to a distant continent; he day after that he’s on a small outlying island…and soon he’s on an outrigger with his luggage, being rowed by a native. But he can see the island, a distant speck on the horizon, and very faintly he hears the drums: boom-ba, boom-ba, boom-ba. When the outrigger reaches the shore he jumps out and excitedly runs into the resort. The drums are quite loud now: BOOM-BA, BOOM-BA, BOOM-BA. He asks the man at the front desk, “Is it really true? The drums never stop?”
“Ya, Sah, drums nevah stop!” the clerk tells him. The man is overjoyed. He checks in, has dinner and dessert, all the while listening to the drums. Finally it was bedtime…and he realizes there’s a problem: the drums were so loud, he couldn’t get to sleep. He tries closing the window, he tries putting the pillow over his head – still no good. So he goes back to the front desk and asks again, “Do the drums never stop?”
“No, Sah, drums nevah stop.”
“But I can’t get to sleep! Can’t the drums stop for just a few hours?”
“No, Sah! Drums nevah stop. Drums MUST nevah stop. Very bad, very bad if drums stop!”
“Why? What happens if the drums stop?” The clerk looks around, frightened, and responds in a voice barely above a whisper:
“Bass solo!”
Cool Hand Luke Premium Member almost 4 years ago
Did they learn nothing from blowing up the beached whale in Oregon?
Templo S.U.D. almost 4 years ago
Wouldn’t it be easier to send a moose’s carcass to a meat-processing plant out of which carcass to make moose steaks and jerky?
Gent almost 4 years ago
Alien astronaut theorists suggest that it was the handiwork of aliens who were just horsing around.
Caldonia almost 4 years ago
These people need to stop disrespecting animals, whether they (the animals) are alive or dead. Goodness me.
bluegirl285 almost 4 years ago
I’m guessing dragging the dead moose to another area wasn’t an option.
jpayne4040 almost 4 years ago
That moose meat could have fed so many hungry kids in Africa. :-)
Susan00100 almost 4 years ago
They blew up Bullwinkle??? Call the police!!!
Jogger2 almost 4 years ago
November saw the 50th anniversary of the exploding whale in Oregon.
A dead whale had washed up on an Oregon beach. Oregon’s beaches were maintained by the state’s Highway Department. They decided to use explosives to break the carcass into small pieces, which would be eaten by scavengers. They used about 1000 pounds of explosives. Instead of smithereens, large chunks of rotting whale were sent into the air. A reporter said the explosion “blasted blubber beyond believable bounds.” One piece landed on a new car, collapsing the roof.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 4 years ago
The moose went everywhere at once.
Take care, may Barrow, Alaska overhead cam polisher Gus Peach be with you, and gesundheit.
aimlesscruzr almost 4 years ago
I wonder if that was the Møøse that bit my sister…
dv1093 almost 4 years ago
I think I saw this same explosive story on BION – but it was a whale, not a moose.
sdjamieson Premium Member almost 4 years ago
How can filling themselves with sea water make them more buoyant in seawater?
ncorgbl almost 4 years ago
Successful, “Wildlife Managers” Boris and Natasha continued their quest to find squirrel.
If a Sea Cucumber asks “Do I look fat in these?” don’t answer. They hang with sharks.
Embarrassed, horses hide.
poppacapsmokeblower almost 4 years ago
When I was in school we didn’t have the career option of EOD technician specializing in carcass dispersal, though there was this kid who dropped M-80s down gopher holes.
ForrestOverin almost 4 years ago
They tried blowing up a whale carcass in coastal Oregon. It didn’t go so well. BELIEVE IT, OR DON’T!
57BelAir almost 4 years ago
How do sea cucumbers float by ingesting the same substance they are suspended in?
LeeBrenneison almost 4 years ago
100 pounds sound like over kill.
chuck_sa almost 4 years ago
I don’t understand how blowing a moose carcass into bite size pieces makes it less appealing to predators. Maybe dilution was the solution?
LrdSlvrhnd almost 4 years ago
Hopefully it did better than that whale in Oregon…
brooklyn51 almost 4 years ago
Moose-to-go and that moose is gonnnne!
Running Buffalo Premium Member almost 4 years ago
Was the moose killed by a space laser?
[Unnamed Reader - 96ae98] almost 4 years ago
I actually read the first one as MOUSE instead of moose, but then had to check when I wondered why a mouse needed that much explosive to be destroyed.
Craig Westlake almost 4 years ago
And not a single one of her friends will let her touch their hair…
6th Billiard Ball Student almost 4 years ago
yangeldf almost 4 years ago
…wouldn’t spreading hundreds of pounds of moose gore (typical moose weigh over 500 pounds) all over the place with explosives make it MORE likely to attract predators?