Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 08, 2021

  1. Leprechaun
    oldpine52  over 3 years ago

    They also teach a formula that proves that there are fifty billing hours a day.

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    cdcoventry  over 3 years ago

    and then people are surprised when these people are put into politics..only to see them act the same way.

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    in.amongst  over 3 years ago

    Any chance of triggernometry included in the course somewhere?

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    Imagine  over 3 years ago

    I prefer exponential billing when I right my invoices.

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    strictures  over 3 years ago

    Notice the skull bookends on the desk. Probably ex-clients, that didn’t like his fee structure!

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    hariseldon59  over 3 years ago

    Looks more like algebra than calculus. No derivatives or integrals.

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    TampaFanatic1  over 3 years ago

    In other words, find a loophole to justify your client’s crimes or at least make sure it does not hurt him/her in the wallet except when you present them your bill.

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    Walter Kocker Premium Member over 3 years ago

    The U.S. has 70% of the world’s lawyers.

    No wonder . . .

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    Sanspareil  over 3 years ago

    Just wait ’til they get past the differentiation part and move on to integration of client exigencies versus legal obstructionism.Fees will escalate at a hyperbolic rate!

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  10. Oldwolfcookoff
    The Old Wolf  over 3 years ago

    I have always assiduously avoided lawyers for this very reason. Now, as an estate administrator for a deceased relative, I find I have no choice but to retain one; certain things are outside of my experience, including the Byzantine labyrinth of filings in Surrogate Court and the establishment of an estate. But seeing my law firm’s rate schedule sends Lovecraftian chills down my spine, and I can only hope that when we are done there is more than tree-fiddy left to distribute to potential beneficiaries.

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    keenanthelibrarian  over 3 years ago

    How cynical; cruel, but fair.

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    admiree2  over 3 years ago

    I used a lawyer once for a minor conflict. Told him my budget constraints. He said it would not be more than $X.

    The bill was 2.5 x X.

    He forgot the biz adage about a dissatisfied customer. A happy one might tell 1 or 2 people. An unhappy one will tell 10. I exceeded the average by far.

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    dadoctah  over 3 years ago

    As a former math major who has done jury duty, I can assure you that lawyers’ grasp of mathematics is on the level of those third-world tribes whose only number words are “one”, “two” and “many”.

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  14. I yam who i yam
    Kind&Kinder  over 3 years ago

    Any lawyer will holler for a dollar!

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    mikeyman  over 3 years ago

    Justice is not won, it’s rented.

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    gokar 4,la  over 3 years ago

    Can you find the hidden message in the bookcase? It explains all.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 3 years ago

    We got John a big award and we even let him keep some of it!

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    Mugens Premium Member over 3 years ago

    $200 PH is getting off cheap from what I know of some lawyers.

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    Lenavid  over 3 years ago

    Moral Relativism

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    Masterskrain  over 3 years ago

    Shakespeare was right…

    “Let’s kill all the lawyers” is a line from William Shakespeare’s Henry VI, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2. The full quote is “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers”

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    dflak  over 3 years ago

    Yup, that about sums it up.

    There is one more equation: The amount of justice you receive is directly proportional to the legal fees you can pay.

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    WGillete  over 3 years ago

    Did Rudy ever get the $20K a day out of Trump? LOL – Trump never pays anyone!

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    sandpiper  over 3 years ago

    It resembles the subject matter in many educational institutions, i.e., visions built on ideas that originated in dreams. Interesting course work maybe, but only applicable in life after some experiential testing.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 3 years ago

    Oh yes. I remember this class in sales school(Recruiter Training). It was call ethics or some such nonsense. Class Motto – “Admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand Proof.”

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    mottyg  over 3 years ago

    And they learn modesty and self-effacement. Observe the abbreviated school name: >U

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    rhpii  over 3 years ago

    $200/hr. Must be paralegal school.

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    Linguist  over 3 years ago

    I guess that adds up to lots of billable hours?

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    JudyAz  over 3 years ago

    Wonder why the second row isn’t socially-distanced?

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    bobbyferrel  over 3 years ago

    New math. Billable hours integrated over the sum of the clients equals more than 24 per day.

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    eastern.woods.metal  over 3 years ago

    Actually there are tow equations

    1) Is the client suing for damages? Does the likely award exceed the likely fees? If yes, take the case. If no decline the case

    2) Is the client being sued for damages? What’s the clients net worth? If the likely fees exceed the net worth take the case. If the likely fees exceed the net worth decline the case

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    thelordthygod666  over 3 years ago

    My son said he was considering becoming a lawyer. I suggested he become a pimp instead because his peers would have higher ethical standards and he’d be of greater value to society.

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    StackableContainers  over 3 years ago

    I remember being told in law school how to bill your time and avoid an ethics violation. Someone asked, Why would we worry about ethics violations if we just bill for the time we work? She got such a look from the professor.

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    skyriderwest  over 3 years ago

    I remember being asked by a prospective client a few years ago if I would bill him for an hour’s work after a 5 minute phone conversation. I laughed, and told him I might not bill him at all. He told me that there were a number of law firms in town who charged a minimum of 1 hour each time they spoke to a client, which was one of the reasons why he was looking for a new lawyer.

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    VICTOR PROULX  over 3 years ago

    In the United States the dollar is 9/10 of the law

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    mistercatworks  over 3 years ago

    Somebody should sue that guy.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member over 3 years ago

    The best way to make sure that you always, always, always engage in legal conduct? Buy the legislators who make the laws!

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  37. Trollspry
    Enter.Name.Here  over 3 years ago

    Proving yourself innocent, even when you are, can be very expensive. That’s the sad reality.

    So the question is, how much justice can YOU afford?

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    marilynnbyerly  over 3 years ago

    Lawyers don’t take that class. Their staff does.

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    paranormal  over 3 years ago

    That went right over my head!

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    Stargazer1950  over 3 years ago

    I like the school sweatshirt: “Greater Than U”

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    GiantShetlandPony  over 3 years ago

    Is there a Trump nonpayment clause?

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    Padraigin Premium Member over 3 years ago

    Right over Wrong! He’s working with the basic ‘right idea’.

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    [Unnamed Reader - bf182b]  over 3 years ago

    Did anyone notice the sweater on the guy in the doorway – “Greater Than You!”

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    MT Wallet   over 3 years ago

    https://www.facebook.com/TwistedTailsPugs/photos/a.376641535837283/1773073339527422/?cft0=AZUU9UZfLe5zJ4a1n7XDobO4Zu4lqAMXfp9vJ1_SoGXBB5DLCSxU42HWXdDR0ZSJYiutJ9JRf6_wLYH0se7XAqvmI1Ormaws8_tOiMW0dCjWtxKV4BuQAb9b1p67XDSIAAKYU5nmYD_6exV_pnR2nP-CfZHYLmY3SnBvzqlksJBcRQ&tn=EH-y-R

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    MFRXIM Premium Member over 3 years ago

    I briefly took a job selling fitness club memberships, for a facility that wasn’t yet open, and quickly learned a valuable lesson about ethics and being a gullible customer on the first day. That was my one and only day at that ”job”.

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    LeslieAnn Premium Member over 3 years ago

    Good to have you back, Mr. Miller.

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  47. Mr. connolly
    gcarlson  over 3 years ago

    “I am sure you are all interested in justice, and not in poor relation of same, legal procedure.” – Charlie Chan

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  48. Toughcat
    bakana  over 3 years ago

    Then in Litigious Calculus 201, they learn that 15 Minutes == 1 Billable Hour.

    And, that there is no such thing as Less Than 15 Minutes.

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    nerdhoof  over 3 years ago

    “In Jersey everything’s legal, long as you don’t get caught”

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    oded.haber  over 3 years ago

    $200/hr seems pretty cheep

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