Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for July 11, 2021

Greetings, fellow comics fans! First, I want to announce this will be my last post for a few weeks. My wife and I are doing our part to bring the pandemic to a close by supporting the Caribbean cruise industry, so Steve Silver, Huckleberry, Joe, and even Jason will have to uphold the honor of the O.F.W.T.J. (Old Men Who Tell Jokes) society until my return. And now…

A woman is shopping in an antique parlor when she sees a cat drinking out of a porcelain dish. Looking closer, she realizes the dish is of an old and quite valuable manufacture. Thinking she might get a real bargain if she was subtle enough, she asks the shopkeeper if she could buy the cat.

“Certainly, Ma’am,” the proprietor replies. “For twenty dollars, the cat is all yours.”

As the woman casually takes the twenty out of her purse and hands it over, she says, “I notice my new cat seems to like that old saucer. How about I give you an extra dollar for it?”

“Oh, no, Ma’am! That’s a lucky saucer; I’ve sold six cats off it so far.”

Moonmilk was also used to treat issues with stomach acidity, along the same lines as antacids today. I’d love a chance to try some, but I’m guessing it’s pretty hard to get ahold of now.

similar to that Rhode-Island-sized iceberg a posted month or so ago, cruise ships going to New York City better steer clear of that iceberg

How did they know the conch shell was used as a musical instrument? Was there lipstick on it?

Here you can hear three notes being played on the Conch shell. https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/02/listen-to-haunting-notes-from-an-18000-year-old-conch-shell-trumpet/

Hope you are going via the Suez

Years later, a woman figured out that To Serve Man was a cookbook.

Earlier wind instruments have always been at the south end of the alimentary canal.

Take care, may Pete Fountainord be with you, and gesundheit.

That’s only because they discount the wind instrument we all carry with us. Eat enough cabbage and you can tootle out some surprising notes! I almost always surprise my cat, though I suspect she’s thinking I should change my diet.

Show of hands: Who DIDN’T already know about the iceberg breaking off from the edge of Antarctica? “Believe it, or… Oh, you’ve been paying attention to current events? Never mind, then.”

As some of you may already know, I was an Ocularist (maker of artificial eyes) in my day and, of course heard a lot of stories about them! This one is about the guy who accidentally dropped his in his lunch and unknowingly ingested it! Even though he quickly missed it, he didn’t realize what happened! In a few days he became so constipated that he made an appointment with his Doctor! After explaining his problem, the Doc asked him to drop his pants and bend over so he could start his exam! Almost immediately the Doctor jumped back, dropped his penlight and let out a yelp! The man said " Haven’t you ever seen an anus before?" To which the Doctor replied “Of course, but this is the first ,and I hope last, time one has looked back at me!” Here’s looking at you kids! Not in the same way, of course!

It looks like someone at Ripley’s is driving around in a motorboat tracking down icebergs. This is the 2nd or 3rd iceberg factoid in as many weeks.

The iceberg now features a tRump Tower, a wall, and a 5th Avenue.

Liz went on to advise Michael Cohen.

The stuff is now advertised on late night TV.

It still plays, but all ‘oldies’.

That iceberg resembles a comic strip speech balloon. I wonder what Antarctica was going to say before it was so abruptly cut off.

Well, they left out the most important thing, was the Chinese nobleman’s skin in good condition?

You expect us to believe this?

Hm, at the risk of exhibiting totally juvenile humor, I always thought the butt was the first “wind instrument.”

looks for the moon’s udder

Joseph Pujol, aka “Le Petomane” was a guy who made a living farting on stage, apparently in entertaining ways. I knew that (upon reading it, who could forget it) but just saw there are YouTube videos of him. Haven’t watch any yet: saving it for a special treat.

Weirdly enough, they can only play The Wellerman on that conch.

With her husband, also a master cryptologist, Mrs Friedman also demonstrated that the so-called “cryptographic proofs” that someone other than Shakespeare was “the true Shakespeare” were products of deranged minds.