Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for July 28, 2023

There will not be a “King” Tarzan.

“Gimme a great big smooch!”

Now Tarzan needs to make a sacrifice…..

She needs a pit dug?

One condition—Marry me, Tarzan!

Read the fine print.

Tarzan must marry the queen! But he will find another way to save the girl.

Someone is going to be dust after this.

Or potting soil, or pit fill.

Another storyline that doesn’t make sense. How did she survive if there was no one to sacrifice before the human race?

Tarzan said, no, I told you before: no pre-nup. You either love me or you don’t.

don’t care about conditions, i’d do anything she asked

No, Merala. You silly. Only Jane gets to see what’s under the loincloth.

I have known you for a thousand years . Thulsa Doom .

Of course, conditions apply. Always reads them fine prints!

Here it comes, the offer Tarzan must accept or Betty will be sacrificed. Now what exactly do you suppose that one condition might be…….? Tarzan you must remain here as my consort and do my bidding unconditionally, be my “boy toy” amnd hook me up whenever the urge hits me! He’ll say “No.” and here we’ll go…….

“Give me speech lessons. Teach me not to mutter,” she muttered.

Adrian Paul as Duncan MacLeod the Highlander once noted that when one is immortal, having progeny is impossible. So Tessa Noël never gets pregnant.

Merala: It could happen… under one condition.

Tarzan: What condition?

Merala: [whispers in his ear]

Tarzan: Baby, please! I am not from Havana.

I have a feeling that “one condition” involves Tarzan dropping trou.

She’s gotta bear an heir, you betcha, and TLotJ, is the designated sperm donor.

Sexy as scantily-clad Queen Merala is, she looks too much like The Dragon Lady for me to be comfortable with her….