Time for some Scottish humor. Any Scots out there? OK; I’ll tell it slowly:
A wealthy Scot landowner gave all his employees earmuffs one winter, due to the bitter cold and wind. MacTavish wore his once, then abandoned them altogether.
“MacTavish,” asked the landowner, “I see you’re not wearing the muffs I gave you, despite the weather here. Tell me, do you nae like ’em?”
“Ach, they’re fine, indeed, Sir,” MacTavish replies. “But when I first put them on, one o’ the other lads offered to buy me a drink, and I dinna hear him.”
Hey Steve, the Wong Ho was from a joke I heard many, many years ago. Best as I can recall, it was about a REALLY drunk U.S. soldier on a pass in Korea going to the Cathouse. While he was going at it with one of the hookers he kept hearing “Wong Ho” “Wong Ho” & in his drunken state of mind he thought she was calling him ‘Wong Ho" because it was the name of a legendary Korean lover! Or something close to that. It’s been a LONG time since I heard it & your joke was close enough to jar my memory.
@stevesilver48 kicked tonight’s joke fest off with a prime target for humor, so I’ll follow suit.
An old Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido. “What about trying Viagra,” asked the doctor. “Not a chance,” she said, “He won’t even take an aspirin.” “Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Give him an Irish Viagra.” “What is Irish Viagra?” she asked. “It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and let’s talk in a week.” A week later the doctor called the woman to check on the results. The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! It ‘twas horrid! Just terrible, doctor!” “Oh my, really? What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with a bulge I hadn’t seen for years! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me biscuits, gravy, cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It ‘twas a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”
“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor, “Do you mean the love your husband provided wasn’t good?” “Freakin’ jaysus, it was the best I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face at Denny’s again.”
eromlig almost 3 years ago
Time for some Scottish humor. Any Scots out there? OK; I’ll tell it slowly:
A wealthy Scot landowner gave all his employees earmuffs one winter, due to the bitter cold and wind. MacTavish wore his once, then abandoned them altogether.
“MacTavish,” asked the landowner, “I see you’re not wearing the muffs I gave you, despite the weather here. Tell me, do you nae like ’em?”
“Ach, they’re fine, indeed, Sir,” MacTavish replies. “But when I first put them on, one o’ the other lads offered to buy me a drink, and I dinna hear him.”
Templo S.U.D. almost 3 years ago
Thirty years of waiting to win eighteen and one-half million bucks… wow.
Bilan almost 3 years ago
Can they retask Akatsuki’s infrared sensors to warn them when a dog is about to run onto the cricket field?
mbakerbr549 almost 3 years ago
Hey Steve, the Wong Ho was from a joke I heard many, many years ago. Best as I can recall, it was about a REALLY drunk U.S. soldier on a pass in Korea going to the Cathouse. While he was going at it with one of the hookers he kept hearing “Wong Ho” “Wong Ho” & in his drunken state of mind he thought she was calling him ‘Wong Ho" because it was the name of a legendary Korean lover! Or something close to that. It’s been a LONG time since I heard it & your joke was close enough to jar my memory.
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
@stevesilver48 kicked tonight’s joke fest off with a prime target for humor, so I’ll follow suit.
An old Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido. “What about trying Viagra,” asked the doctor. “Not a chance,” she said, “He won’t even take an aspirin.” “Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Give him an Irish Viagra.” “What is Irish Viagra?” she asked. “It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and let’s talk in a week.” A week later the doctor called the woman to check on the results. The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! It ‘twas horrid! Just terrible, doctor!” “Oh my, really? What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with a bulge I hadn’t seen for years! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me biscuits, gravy, cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It ‘twas a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”
“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor, “Do you mean the love your husband provided wasn’t good?” “Freakin’ jaysus, it was the best I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face at Denny’s again.”
Here’s to better living through chemistry.
Pickled Pete almost 3 years ago
The Michigan man had the numbers on his side.
MY DOG IS MY CO PILOT almost 3 years ago
Here is a video of the dog stealing the ball. It’s hilarious and really cute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3gSGOFxMjQ
dv1093 almost 3 years ago
My cereal box was more interesting to read than RBION this morning.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 3 years ago
Those were my numbers, too! I’ll sue!
Take care, may Xtian Gambler’s Anonymous speech writer Jim “I Have A Deal For You My Special Friend” Bakkord be with you, and gesundheit.
paranormal almost 3 years ago
Re: Playing the same lottery numbers for 30 years; Patience is a Virtue…
WCraft Premium Member almost 3 years ago
So glad to read that we’re finally going to solve the mystery of nighttime weather on Venus….NOT.
oakie817 almost 3 years ago
they only had one ball?
198.23.5.11 almost 3 years ago
A two-headed fish has been looking for you for decades.
Pedmar Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Wow, a cricket match coming to a dead halt… can’t imagine that ever happening!
Angry Indeed Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Venus’ nighttime forecast: Widely scattered acid rain.
pbr50138 almost 3 years ago
I wonder how much the guy spent on those lottery tickets, before he hit it big?