Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 26, 2021

The main point in living 10 years longer is to make sure you get back all the money you paid for Social Security and Medicare.

I like how Pig, in the last panel, seems to be telling Bike-Douche to take a hike.

I’m waiting for the fanatic-cyclist on the ground of a hill hitted by a heartbreak.

Cyclist Jeff can spend his extra 10 years testing the Darwin Theory while wearing his sponsor’s logo: Target.

Cue my favorite Jack London quote here: “I would rather be ashes than dust! …..I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.The function of man is to live, not to exist.I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.I shall use my time.”

I’ll go for fried chicken and root beer, thanks.

He didn’t say that. He said that the purpose of eating properly is to extend your life.

Rat wins the zinger award today.

I would rather have fried chicken and beer occasionally as a departure from a normal good balanced diet, and prolong my life by 7 years. Those extra three years aren’t worth the sacrifice.

Nanny state ahead, use caution!

Says the person drinking energy drinks !

Rat scores!

“Health nuts will feel really stupid one day, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

More people have died from not eating than from eating fried chicken. It’s my diet system. Works for just about any thing you want to eat.

Listen to the biker’s advice and end up getting ran over by a truck or something!

More often than not, it won’t take ten years off your life, just remove ten years of quality time. If Covid taught us one thing, it’s that long-term care facilities are a shop of horrors.

For once I am with Rat on that one. Go get stuffed Jef, what did you have for Thanksgiving: kale and something nasty from the juice bar?

I do exercise and eat relatively healthy meals most of the time because I don’t want to end up in a nursing home or unable to care for myself as I age. The length of life isn’t nearly as important to me as the quality, and I have spent my career around older folks — many who did not care for their bodies and suffered miserably in their last years, and many who did take those extra steps and were still active and filled with life into their late 90s and beyond. They taught me to purpose of exercise and diet (while still leaving room for indulgences), and for their lessons I am thankful.

As long as those extra ten years your not confined to a bed.

Moderation in all things …… All things in moderation ;-)

“Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.” Matthew 10:39 & 16:25, also Mark 8:35, and in case you missed it, Luke 9:24 & 17:33.

It may take 10 years out of my life. Ten years of pain and misery I’ll never miss. I’m all for it.

Ten years? Dude, rats only have like three or five years to live.

That actually sounds like something pig would say

Cyclist Jef looks forward to having 10 more years to spend scolding everyone else about their lifestyle choices and to feel smug, self-righteous. and superior about his own. It will give him the opportunity to produce 3,652 additional comic strips gloating about his wonderfulness and reminding people who are fans of football or who eat junk food that they are worthless blobs of protoplasm.

For once Rat’s right! Oh, I exercise and eat healthily but that’s because I enjoy both and I’m not fanatical about either. My life span is in the hands of the gods, so while I’m not doing anything to hasten my demise, I’m not particularly concerned about when the ultimate surprise will happen. I enjoy every day as it comes and I refuse to wear spandex!

I ride my bike. I drink beer and eat fried chicken. I’m happy!

Looks more like an Eskimo Pie. (Thanks Russel Stover BTW) …and beer: It’s not just a breakfast drink, you know.

I’m just glad to see some food in the perennial empty plate.

Such censorious comments to the wrong person could take more than ten years off Jeff’s life.

It’d be nice to have a character from the Netherlands, wearing normal clothing while commuting to work on a Dutch-style bike. Nice, but not funny.

dweeb

Extends his life 10 years, but he spends those 10 years riding his bicycle.

Ten fewer years of Jef might be a good reason to keep eating the fried chicken and beer.

Rat doesn’t give a Rats ass what anyone thinks…

Cyclist Jeff’s life expectancy is probably measured in weeks if he keeps cycling in traffic.

Well, livings fun, right?

Right?

Why is Pig holding his hand up like he’s going to leave in the last panel?

Obviously, the cyclist would not make a good internet troll. They can think up a come-back before you’re even done talking/posting!

Ten extra years…and he will have the last word.

Moderation in everything…including moderation!

“I ain’t here for a long time, I’m here for a good time” — George Strait (and also Drake)

I’ve heard that 60 minutes of exercise a day when you’re 35 can extend your overall lifespan by as much as a full hour. Which means you’re trading in an hour when you’re young, healthy, vigorous, and ambitious for one when you’re old, feeble, achy, forgetful, and useless.

Wise words by Rat

Helpful hint for those who haven’t figured it out yet, Bikey Jef is a parody of Jef Mallett, the self-righteous cartoonist whose strip “Frazz” is ostensibly about a financially successful musical composer who nonetheless works as a school janitor because he likes kids but who spends about 3 days out of 5 touting the benefits of exercise, specifically running and swimming, and usually with a self-righteous sneer or swipe at team sports as an added garnish. Not just every once in awhile, you understand, but all The TIME!

As I understand it, bicycling has the highest injury rate of any hobby or sport. I’m not going to the trouble to look up and cite the source of that, but the experiences of the folks I know who are avid cyclists clearly bear it out.

Someone said to me, yesterday, “I’m not trying to prolong my life with the right food and exercise. I’m trying to improve the quality of my life that I do have.” There’s a middle ground between Bike Jeff and Rat. The trick is to find it.

Good health? Such a drag.

Rats normally live 2 years. Rat is living on borrowed time!

.. and if the purpose of your life is to drink beer?

I don’t think there is any statically evidence that running or cycling extends life spans over that of the general population. It’s a matter of quality of life. Genetics is the first determinant.

Well said young rat, well said indeed…..

The non cartoon response would have been that it’s silly for Rat to assume that Jeff lived for nothing but prolonging his life. Aside from anything else he may actually enjoy cycling. Being snarky back at rat probably brings its own life rewards as well.

There’s also quality of life.

Seeing Jeff is always welcome

If that’s left of humanity is self-righteous douchebags, it won’t be much fun to be a self-righteous douchebag.

Comics, novels, movies, TV shows, cartoons . . . I do not have enough time left!

Redd Foxx: Health nuts are going to feel so stupid someday. They’re going to be lying in hospitals, dying of nothin’!

Jef the Cyclist should worry about an early death under the wheels of a delivery truck cutting across the Bike Lane to get to the curb for a drop-off….

sadly that is what we had to keep in mind as we let go of our beloved dog last month. It was also a decision my mom made after her 2nd bout of cancer.

So everyone should just up and die, Rat? You first.

If you give up eating meat, dairy, alcohol, sugar and fatty foods, you still won’t live forever, but it will feel like it.

500th like!

What if the time spent exercising, say ten years, only prolongs your life ten years.