The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for February 03, 2022

Lousy bar. They can only age their wine for a few hours.

If they serve food would it be nanosecond steak?

It must be hard to get repeat customers. Maybe that’s why it always has new owners. Yesterday it was called “Milton’s Mayfly Moonshine Mill.”

just make it a quick drink bartender

A minute is about all the time he can afford to stay there.

Time flies! Flies, get it?!

“You just missed it! No ‘happy time’ for you!”

Must be a male mayfly – Males die after mating while females die after laying their eggs.

Sometimes you like to go where nobody knows your name…

Is this a countersign to the ground hog’s prediction -

- that spring is coming really early this year?

You May has fun now. You don’t has much time anyways.

What’s worse are the species of mayflies with no mouthparts. They don’t live long enough to eat or drink.

Adult Mayflies do not have mouths.

Whenever my wife is in the mood.

We view the world through the distortion of ourselves. The reproductive stage is equivalent to a flower. Mayflies live many months as nymphs.

Sure, got a second?

Is that bar handed down through generations?

“Of all the mayfly moonshine mills in all the world, she has to fly into mine!”

Someone must’ve built that bar for the owner. He wouldn’t have had the time. One barstool and pfffft, he’s gone!

As a onetime fly fisherman, I knew the complete lifecycle of the mayfly.

Hilburn is very proud of his backwards writing.

Now wait just a damned microsecond!

Bar should have a permanent “Under New Management” sign

My paralegal wife’s boss was married to a scientist who had to reschedule their vacations due to his tsetse fly tests.

Drink too much and become a maynotfly.

I met an entomologist nerd whose passion was Mayflies. He had even discovered some new species. But his day job was mosquitoes because that’s where the money is.