Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 15, 2022

Don’t forget Netflixosis.

As long-term sufferer from both conditions, I sympathise with you, Rat.

(And they seem to be incurable, as well. )

I think Rat’s just a La-Z-Boy.

Sounds like Anal Glaucoma. He can’t see his butt getting out of bed.

Any rat just lying on a sofa should be dead.

He any relation to Andy Capp.

A sofectomy would resolve that problem, but the side effects may be worse

As the ancient comedians used to say, “He’s got dropsey and heart disease. Once he drops, he hasn’t got the heart to get up!”

This is scary! The sofitis pandemic is spreading like wildfire and I haven’t had my shot yet!

A lot of Idontfeellikegoingbacktotheofficeitis lately!

A lot of that going around Goat!

And chipscarfosis.

So Mr high and faluting Goat, what job do you have to laud it over the rat?

One of the side affects of the Covid lockdown

His disability is Chronic Slacker Disorder.

Followed by a nap attack. Sounds like a plan to The Count. Minus the beer.

Years ago I took a class on medical terminology, and IIRC

-osis denotes a condition

-itis denotes inflammation

so an inflamed sofa, often accompanied by a condition of beer and inflamed guzzle.

I guess if my sofa was in flames, I’d guzzle something – but on my way out the door! (and that WOULD be an opportunity for a beer run!)

Problem with that is that one needs a job to have money to buy the beer.

A lot of people have Rat’s “disability.” That is why we are 20 trillion dollars in debt. Rat would make a good democrat.

Oh it has a name!!!

I have a chronic case of sofitis. However, being in my late sixties and retired, I do not see it as a disability. More of a lifestyle.

Some disabilities are bad. Others, not so much.

I suspect the pandemic left a few people with these ‘disabilities.’

Speaking of beertosis guzzleitis: TGIF! Let the adult beverages flow swift and strong!

other side effects may include but not limited to, unemploymentitis, gamingia and sore thumbatitis

The sofa is too uncomfortable…. I’ll take a good recliner…

These must be the only disabilities that are actually fun…

20 mg of Sofabenzipin will cure that

Almost as bad as lazboyitis combined with AnimalPlanetosis.

That disability also works for my “to do” list in retirement.

Thank you for using the correct form of " to lie". I was sure it was a goner; laid out in lavender, so to speak.

There’s always an excuse….lame RAT!

Recently added to the list of ailments for medical Marijuana.

There’s always the “work from home” option.

Transfer Rat to THE DUPLEX.

And as the old joke goes—“He’s half lion and half dragon”.

The top half is lyin’ and the bottom half is draggin’.

The two together can be devastating…..

Somebody needs to put an alarm in the sofa whenever Rat get ‘Sofitis’. That will get him up and more likely to find a job.

We would cynically refer to AWD. Aversion to Work Disorder.

I have Teamsterus Retiritus. The symptoms are the same.

Rat, my friend, id est bovem cacas!

I’m a bit more ambitious. I have retired-person office chair syndrome which tends toward paying solitaire while listening to YouTube on the home-office desktop computer.

I’ve got sofitis too.

I have anxiety trying to look for work too, it stems from going through a large phone book or two’s height in applications, and being turned down or not even getting an interview on any single one of them. <>

I must have reclineritis.

I have another name for Rat’s ‘disability’: laziness.

The Zebras are safe! At least for now. http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2022/04/13/1326-pearls-before-raccoons/

not to mention the pizzalysis!

He’ll be cured as soon as the imminent cashectomy occurs.

Rat’s hypochondria is real enough, and he is clever about it….

Accompanied by a case of “The #^<&-its!”