Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 10, 2022

Telemarketing calls

i thought puns would be on your list, Rat…

“3. Stephan Pastis”

I LOVE Stephan’s puns!

I thought Pastis would make it cyclists. He hasn’t done a cyclist trashing strip for a while.

With the elimination of murder and disease, Rat would have rid the world of most politicians.

What has happened to the zeeba and the crockagators? Or is that allidials?

Expecting too much from Rat.

But Rat you is cause of disease yourself, you harbinger of the plague.

I miss going to the local diner and sitting at the counter, it was great!

Religions (bring it on!)

If it was for positive thought, wouldn’t it make more sense to be three good things you would add?

That seems more like an exercise in negative thought.

1. Nuclear weapons

2. SUVs

3. Lawn chemicals

Poverty, climate change, Trump

People who drive slowly in the passing lane!

But hasn’t rat threatened, attempted, and even committed murder on several occasions?

Aren’t communal tables and disease roughly equivalent? I think cruise ships and disease are an exact match.

HateDiseaseRat :)

Hate, disease, Rat :)

I would get rid of war, pollution and every single politician we’ve ever had.

I’m somewhat with Rat. If possible, I’d rather eat by myself…or with friends.

Fritzsch: It is so sad that you wish death on those who disagree with you.

I also hate those communal tables. Not crazy about people who park their butts in a nice comfy booth for hours using it as their office either.

Can we please get rid of the phrase “vegan leather”? It’s plastic!!!

Some of those things appear to be pretty impersonal. Communal coffee tables on the other hand …

Two out of three is actually outstanding for rat…..

Why didn’t Rat put puns on his list? And for that matter, what does he have against puns anyway? They’re funny!

Communal? No Kool-Aid for me, please.

I kind of agree with Rat on this one, that’s new.

How could Rat live without murder?

I’ve been waiting to find solace on actuarial tables. . . .

Car stereo bass speakers. Microsoft “Teams”. Zocdoc adverts. (that’s just today’s list of three.)

Lying. Hippocracy. Religion… but I repeat myself.

That’s a tough one. I could come up with three, but I believe they would be symptoms of latent problems!

War, crime, disease.

I’m a little stunned Rat would want to get rid of the first two.

Technically, “getting rid of things” is a negative approach, although it’s part of doing good, the way “negative space” is an important part of art. A logically positive thinking exercise is: Three little things you can do to make the world a better place. E.G.: 1) Smile at people 2) Be polite 3) Help someone who needs it (and wants it). Of course, the best thing is to spread the Good News, but that’s not little, and it’s not always welcome.

Not bad for a list of three, Rat! How long would the list have to be before you got to “punning cartoonists”?

Nationalism, religion and neoliberal capitalism.

I did that once. Then I read it, gasped in horror, and burned the list. It seems I’m not a people person. But at least I’m not racist.