Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 14, 2022

Most of them are bots.

Just because you have followers doesn’t mean you’re a leader.

Social idiocy goes underground

I’m not going to tell you how many instagram followers I have.

… could have had more, but got run over by a road rage driver as Bob walked directly into the vehicle path while phishing for more followers.

Road rage driver posted dashcam video of Bob as he realized he was about to be hit. Video went viral with 1,000,000 views in the first hour.

no headstone, just a post with a geotag!

Don’t you need a million followers to get paid? It is possible to buy followers from companies in Asia.

Obviously Pig got lotsa followers on Instaham.

No tombstones for me. Cemeteries are the second biggest waste of land space after golf carts. Incinerate my carcass when I check out.

Can tombstones with QR codes be far behind?

No room for the Facebook ones, I guess!

what are followers???

And what are Bob Jones, Jr’s pronouns?

They had his funeral service via Zoom. A few of the Insta friends actually joined.

What, no emojis?

OMG! What’s happening to our society? Lame

I remember back when social media didn’t rule the world.

If that’s the nut who started the racist University, he wasn’t a philanthropist, but unfortunately would have way more followers.

Ha, ha. You think the instagram influencers are gonna carve their achievements in stone? More likely they’ll have themselves cremated and let their Instagram accounts serve as memorials.

I have grave concerns for our future.

Bob Jones, didnt put his phone down for 43 years

A person asked me how many people are dead in the cemetery? I told him all of them!

You know what’s sad? I saw “would’ve” on the stone, and had to think twice before I realized that was correct. I see too many people typing “would of” and it’s messed with my brain.

I want my grave to have a St. Louis Cardinals logo on it…just like my grandfather’s.

see there’s QR codes on tombstones now.. No words, just that

I once voted for Gray Davies

There’s such a vanity to tombstones. Their mere existence assumes that people will want to come visit your grave. Which they might; I’ve been known to visit a grave on occasion myself. But there’s such a permanence to them. I can’t conceive of anyone wanting to visit me after the youngest person who knew me well dies. I guess it would be different if I were some big historical figure.

Then there’s the business of writing your accomplishments on the stone, which is much much worse. (Though to be fair, I’m not sure it’s as common as media would have you think; in my own experience I can’t recall ever seeing a stone that said more than “Beloved Mother” or something like that.) Anyone who knows less about your life than can fit on the stone will have no interest in visiting your grave.

In Los Angeles,yu can have great fun in cemetaries because every third grave is that of a famous person.

Al Jolson…boy,was HE modest!!

Recycle me!

They didn’t count the bots.

No, tombstones of the future are, as I shockingly discovered recently, already here. They aren’y about Facebook or Twitter account followers, their video screens so folks can view images of the dead when they were alive or view comments other visitors to the grave side made. Thankfully, their still extremely rare, but their creators are pushing them as the memorial markers of the future.

A boy walking with his mom through a cemetery saw a headstone that said, “Here lies Bob Jones, Jr., a lawyer and an honest man.”

He asked his mom why there were three people in there. :-)

We have a lot of Jewish folks buried here as well, someone told me the stones are so close together as they are buried standing up! Volunteering there for many years I found the true answer,

This for real. Every creator mentions the “___ algorithm”

I want my Family to drag my carcass out into the middle of the Jordan Valley, (Antrim County, Michigan), ….. and let me feed the Coyotes.

One can make a strong case that social media has done irreparable damage to the U.S., and the world.

Leave the world better than you found it, I say.

Too nearly true to be so much a funny comic as an editorial comic….