Herman by Jim Unger for November 02, 2022

A mallet to cure a malady

Your insurance expired at midnight.

Roll over.

Cannot be worst than when the VA gave my brother a strainer so he could bring in the stone for examination after he passed it. I discovered my brother’s deep and rich U.S. Navy WW2 vocabulary.

If it would work that would hurt less than the kidney stones

Just drink some whiskey. It’s a better way to get hammered…

No kidney, no kidney stone. The logic seems sound…

“Doctor, you must be KIDNEYING!”

I had kidney stones several years ago. That is what the doctor did to me.

Doctor Gallagher? (Gall Stones are his specialty.)

I could imagine the song “Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel playing throughout the procedure..

Don’t be silly. That’s not for the stones. That’s the anesthetic.

At the medical clinic where I work, a medical assistant will have a patient seated for a blood draw. As I walk through the room, if the patient has no idea who I am (eg.— that I’m NOT a doctor!), I’ll pause and say, “Alright, so which arm are we amputating?” It usually catches people off guard. Good times!

It is essentially what they do with lithotripsy.

Every now and then I would get a “twinge” in my back, or a “gas pain” or a pain in my groin. A couple of years ago, I finally got a kidney stone big enough to get my attention. Fortunately, I managed to pass it with not much additional pain.

Now that I recognize the symptoms, I start forcing fluids at the first sign. I go to the bathroom a lot, but I avoid the pain.

Good one today. A very good and very needed laugh.

Ooops, those stones weren’t kidney stones.

Walk softly and carry a big stick….

As a Brit would say “Smashing idea!”

After my second attack of kidney stones (required surgery), Doc suggested I lower my calcium intake some. I was eating a cheese sandwich and a container of yogurt for lunch; so that wasn’t a bad idea. Haven’t had any problems since.

Help!

That oughta do it.

That’s a handy tool. It also works on stomach ulcers and brain tumors

This reminds me of Mick and Keith in 1970….hammered Stones.

This is all your medical insurance will cover.

I wish they would have done that with the gall stone instead of taking the gallbladder. Don’t “they” pulverize the “stones” somehow so they can be passed. Living without a gallbladder is not good. They don’t remove a kidney.

That is so true!

It’s called percussion therapy.

And it comes with a side benefit if you’re done having children.

It just might work for the hernia, too.

Did somebody mention Boulder Dam?

There’s another guy that doesn’t drink enough water.

Is that a patened Sledge-O-Matic?

here, bite down on this 2×4

Ah yes, the wonders of modern medicine!