Herman by Jim Unger for January 16, 2023

Yep, and no one is going to steal this chair while he’s on duty.

“What gave it away? I was trying for incognito.”

At least you were able to wake him up. When I delivered papers to an old folks home, I couldn’t get in, because I couldn’t wake up the security guard. Eventually, I managed to wake him up. He wasn’t the regular, but a substitute.

Let me rephrase that. I guess you were our new security guard.

“Wouldn’t a nightcap be more comfortable for you?”

Don’t interrupt his training.

When computers were just getting started as test equipment we had programmed a Blackjack game on our test computer (a Data General computer, for the historians). The night security guard was asking about what we were doing so we showed him the test set up and, by the way, how to play Blackjack at the console. Next morning we came into the lab and he was still there with several empty cups of coffee and a full ash tray. He had played all night!

You were our new guard. Now you can rest at home, where you will be more comfortable.

Is that Asa Breeney?

That happened at a place I worked. The big boss came in very early to get some work done before flying out and couldn’t get in. He could see the security guard through the window sleeping in a chair with his feet up and shoes off.

Money for nothing and your checks for free…

Yes. I am your new security guard. And you are interrupting my sleep.

“New” security guard . . . soon to be the old unemployed security guard. He obviously won’t get a good reference.

With his security blanket, no less!

Well, he was.

He feels secure in his job. Looks like that might change.

Shhh! He’s clearly working undercover!

Not worthy of the title.. a smarter man would have “napped” out of sight. I recall in my youth, working night shift as a maintenance man for a large hotel (Empress in Victoria) curling up under the office desk. If the phone rang, it would wake me up.. and we had a buzzer on the door. Good job

Anything go bump in the night?

Its not his fault. George Costanza gave him that chair. Be thankful the place wasn’t robbed.

He just wants to be rested for his day off.

After the sun goes down, he turns into the “Nighty Night” Watchman!!