Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for June 01, 2023

Does cannibalism reduce the carbon footprint?

Discuss amongst yourself.

These days, people like me learn more from the internet than school.

Cool hat if you color it black with stars and planets

I think that’s an excellent topic for discussion. We are less critical of hunters who eat their prey than we are of those who simply hunt for fun or trophies, so there is precedent for the suggestion.

But not during an arithmetic lesson.

with that hat on, he’s got a point there.

The teacher may not agree with the concept, but Calvin put a lot of thought into the matter. The cap and sitting in a corner is doing Calvin a great injustice. Miss Wormwood really dropped the ball this time.

Anybody read back issues of Saturday Evening Post? Tonight I read in “You be the Judge” Jan 1950. 2 guys broke into a TV store, owner caught them, 1 robber shot at him 2 times and missed. Judge let them go because of his interpetation of “robber”? Good lawyers back then too

Glad to see classroom justice was meted out to the boy wonder for his idiocy!!!

Or, better yet, find it on the Internet!!

I wonder if the Donner party felt the same way.

Fair question. Wonder what Calvin has been watching Cannibal Holocaust maybe or if this was today Yellowjackets.

Has Calvin been reading about the Donner party in 1846-7?

The information super-highway has taught me more than School ever did. As long as you use common sense and ignore the click-beaters and scammers…….

completely agree!

Calvin the Cannibal?

Calvin wants to explore situational ethics…

Did you hear about the cannibal who went to see his psychiatrist—he was fed up with people. ( Rodney Dangerfield)

What will Calvin come up with next?

Cal longs for other worlds. This one is just to colorless for him.

Why would a 5-year old even talk about something so vile and disgusting?!

Lawyer up, Calvin. You can make a mint off of the last panel.

There are very few cannibals in the world today. Most of the missing persons wind up in one place and no it is not the sex trade business, although that has, is and will always be a major reason, the real culprit is organ donations. People “disappear” to get placed on the black market. They are cut up and reused in organ donations, from internal organs, skin, eyes, and yes even bones. Every individual is worth about 5 million dollars. The thieves do not have to feed, house, clothe or medicate these prisoners. There is no organization of victims to overthrow or escape. The people just disappear with no trace. The greater NYC had a big crackdown on funeral homes for doing just this and having body parts go out the back door. Now it has been handed over to the black market.

In my early school years, I remember a sick joke that went around about making a law that would force murderers to eat their victims.

Maybe Fava Beans on the side?

Hear you, Calvin. Book learning can be boring.

Story seed for Calvin’s future SF novel.

Calvin, you are too precocious for your own good.

“The history of the world, my sweet,

Is who gets eaten and who gets to eat;

But fortunately it’s also clear

That everybody goes down well with beer."

I never saw a dunce cap in any school I ever went to

Some of the best conversations are the ones that start with something like “Would you rather..”.

The education is so you know which books are reliable. :)

Why dosen’t it say “duncee?”

“They call you a cannibal but I know it’s just low-carb to you….”

If people would use actual books, it would be better. Unfortunately, most people now adays use the internet where they can find almost anything, but you do not know the validity of the source. Way too many people have read things that were made up as satire and taken it as gospel truth.

And then there are the people who prefer to believe a lie than to seek out the truth.

Miss Wormwood, a simple “No”, would suffice.

Let’s sit in a circle and chew the fat,

Ah, so young, but so right. Calvin, you’ve discovered what every academic philosopher already knew and taught in our nation’s universities. Since there’s no value system worth operating by, and life is futile, make the most of it and give me all your parent’s money so that your useless education can pay for my over-paid professor job. But wait… there IS value after all. Hmm.

“Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.”

I’m amazed Miss Wormwood actually made Calvin sit in the corner wearing a dunce cap in the 1990s. But it’s not as funny as when she did it here…

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1992/05/16

I just saw an article about cannibalism throughout history…

It’s a valid topic but depends on certain assumptions.

Possible collateral effects:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuru_(disease)

A fool would not know how to find the book if he had it, much less think that there is something in it that he should know.

People around Calvin need to keep a very close eye on him…

You got the point, Calvin.

Did Jeffrey Dahmer use the Calvin defense?

A dunce cap! Those had been phased out by the time I started elementary school.

You just have to love our hero Calvin. He comes up with the most outrageous subjects. Way above his tender six year old brain.

Now I get why poor old Miss Wormwood is still a Miss. No sense of humour.

Calvin’s got a point … right on top of his head!!!

Just one of Watterson’s best.

A modern-day playlist for Calvin would include The Buoys “Timothy,” Toto/Total Coelo “I Eat Cannibals,” and anything by the Fine Young Cannibals.

tough call, Calvin