Pickles by Brian Crane for March 28, 2023

No pleasing you is there Opal.

Gimme a break, Opal! The boy’s gonna hear worse on the playground!

Sing the Irish song, you know the Derry Air.

Good work Earl! Nelson will need an entire thesaurus of “naughty word synonyms” to get arond comic site censors.

What would you prefer to be said instead, Opal? It’s all part of the lingo after all.

Nelson looks baffled.

Say it ain’t so, Brian! Opal has gone woke!

It doesn’t matter what Earl says, Opal will find something wrong with it.

When my son was 5ish, he had mild allergies. One day he sneezed pretty hard and, um….nose residue ended up all over his hands because we did teach him to cover his mouth when he coughed or sneezed. He called out that his hands were full of “sneeze”, could we help him. We were in the other room and said, “What?!?” He replied that his hands were full of sneeze, you know? That stuff that comes out of your nose when you sneeze. You know, sneeze! So, much to my wife’s chagrin I taught him that it was called snot! Tru story!

I wouldn’t worry about it. Nelson’s probably too distracted trying to figure out why it’s called “dialling”.

Better, than some A-Hole just called

How is this a bad word?

Opal looks rather..uh..bummed out

Poor Opal, she got made the derriere of that joke.

I was raised in an very strict conservative religion and my mom took it to even more extremes than the other mothers so there was a long list of words I wasn’t allowed to say. Along with all the usual curse words (and their euphemisms) butt and booty were unacceptable, if we must refer to that particular body part “rear” was ok. I had my mouth washed out with a bar of soap quite a few times (zest, and I still can’t stand the smell of it lol)

How about calling it a gluteus call?

I gave a talk in my son’s 2nd grade class about my occupation, one part was about wiring machines, and I demonstrated the various wire connections, when brought up the “butt connector” the kids all started to giggle! A great day for me though!

Since “but” and “butt” sound almost the same, then are you advocating for bad grammar, Opal?

Or, to put it more concisely, he D-D’d me….

Earl should have said, “Clyde just Opal dialed me”.

I hate to say “butt call” as well, since I always carry the phone in my front pocket.

I would personally expose the impressionable lad to a little “blue” language, rather incorrect use of prepositions!

Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in ages.

No man of Earl’s age would say “ on accident”. Unless it was by accident.

I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY

The bad example is saying “on accident” instead of “by accident.” Nails on a blackboard to my ears.

Most of the spam calls we get are dialed by butts.

Jake, from State Farm.

Lighten up Opal,

I am always stunned by people who are afraid of words.

What’s a derriere, Grandpa?

“And don’t use the word ‘button’, Earl, because that has ‘butt’ in it. Also, you can’t say ‘potato’, because it contains the word ‘pot’. And don’t even THINK of saying ‘Billabong’!”

Sorry, His ass-cheek dialed me… :)

Butt-dialed works better than derriere-dialed. Or, maybe, he could say bud-dialed.

I never understood how my smart phone, which requires either a password or a fingerprint to use, could initiate a call while it was in my front pocket, butt it did.

…And that concludes your French lesson for the day. Tomorrow, we’ll learn the difference between mer and merde.

Well Opal, you asked for it! LOL

Like Nelson hasn’t heard worse at his school.

Yes dear. Let’s order pizza for Sunday dinner and throw the Boston Butt out for the dogs.

We don’t want the family asking for “more butt” at the dining room table!

“Isn’t this THE BEST BUTT?”

“It IS! Mother, this is the JUICIEST BUTT I’ve ever had!”

My brother went through a phase when his kids were little in which words like “butt” and “fart” were obscene. Thankfully he got over it fairly quickly.

assinine

⁽ ʸᵉˢˢ ⁾

Would Opal prefer ‘fanny call’? I’m sure ‘booty call’ would be all wrong.

Clyde butt dialed him again?? It just happened yesterday, when Earl was sitting on the sofa with the dog.

A LOT worse.

What an a*s.

Earl could have said it was a wrong number or a misdial and everyone would have forgotten about it. He had to be passive aggressive and say something that will lead to more questions and issues. Don’t blame Opal for trying to keep her young grandson innocent for a while. We don’t know what his parents would have preferred. Butts don’t make calls anyway. I have actually asked my child on a rare occasion what words I can use around her children, such as fart. I gave her explicit permission at age 12 to use that word. (It was kind of a joke, I made a big deal about her getting older and more mature and was going to give her permission for something that was not allowed in the past.)

With a name like “Nelson”, he has more to be worried about than butt dialed.

“On accident”? How about “BY accident”?

Rump-raised??

Assignated?

“On accident” is a gen-x fabrication. “By accident” or it’s equivalent has been correct usage all the way back to the 4th century.

Is that like an ass-ident?