Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 29, 2023

But you can still bribe.

… So now he’s ready for a job as an engineer.

Schmoozing becomes reprehensible when you realize how many other pair of lips have been there also.

I’da thought it wudda said “Realized what the (bleep) I was doing to America.”

So much corruption…..

Curiously it’s a hat and not a chamber pot. Oh . . . I forgot. That’s where he keeps his ideas.

They say for lobbyists it’s the third thing to go… I forget the first two.

Middle men in our plutocracy

My wife worked as a lobbyist for the Washington National Guard association. It was an unpaid position and she had NO money to work with.

She worked with a hostile, super-liberal legislature in Olympia who thought that the military were all baby-burners. They did not allow military members in the Capitol in uniform.

Yet she got a lot of legislation through. Including wrestling a boat unit away from the Texas and Louisiana National Guard (and associate jobs and matching Federal Funds), an education bill for National Guard members to help them attend state universities, and an upgrade construction project for some of the armories so that they would still be standing after an earthquake.

In addition to schmoozing she enlisted veteran’s groups (mostly retired people) who had nothing better to do than to call legislators offices and inundate their phone lines. More than once she got a call from the legislator’s office: “Call the dogs off, we’ll hear the bill.”

Another time she was called into a legislators office after a storm that took out power in the legislator’s district. She called the AG (Top general) and arranged for a generator in a critical facility.

In the same storm the governor’s mother was pulled off her roof by her plumber who was in the NG. That also helped.

One time she got an audience by passing some TP under the stall in the ladies room.

She slowly turned the attitude of the legislature to at least listen to NG concerns.

The last time I schmoozed was back in 1976 or there about. Didn’t care for it.

What a smuck!

Drive-ins and schmoozing … miss that.

I’ve never had the ability to schmooze. Sometimes I wish I did, it can be useful.

I don’t think I ever learned how to schmooze.

Doing it wrong. Claim you’re a victim of anti lobbying weaponization and you’re a legitimate person! Then beg for money.xD

Never schmooze a schmoozer. They melt. Not in a good way either.

The clinical term for it is aschmoozia.

Well,he’s unarmed so he’s not with the NRA….

“Hey, buddy, could you spare a little more? Nobody can schmooze without paper money.”

Not only can’t I schmooze, I can’t get coins to do somersaults when I flip them

Take it to the judge

Just curious, any of us readers ever been schmoozed? Did you feel greasy afterwards? Did it work? Did your soul feel three sizes smaller?

He got old and started telling people what he really thinks!

I worked in a restaurant for 30 years…our owners once told us that we were not to “schmooze” with the customers, no wasting time talking to them, but to serve them and move on. We were not to get to know our customers, other than what they want to eat and drink. On one hand, I understand, but on the other, don’t customers come back if they feel like they get more attention?

Idle curiosity at work here: Do people still carry briefcases now that laptops and cell phones are ubiquitous?

It’s all about networking.

The guy tossing the coin is thinking “There but for the grace of God go I”.

Not all lobbyists are bad. A few are worse. Lived in DC for 10 years and worked in IP law firms (not political work). But I got creeped out every time I drove down the K Street corridor. It was known are the true seat of power in DC. It’s where most of the lobbyists plied their wares. The difference between a h00ker in Baltimore and a h00ker in DC is that the ones in DC wore khakis.

Like all lobbyists he has zero real world skills to fall back on.

…by forced amputation. (One can dream)