Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 26, 2023

Ouch

That’s going to take a lot of Krazy Glue.

Not all it’s cracked up to be

Pig to Shawna: “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame . . .”

Achy breaky heart.

Poor Pig.

Been there.

Dance like no one’s watching (no one is), love like it’s never going to hurt.

Wake up and smell the breakup / ix my heart, put on my makeup / Another mess I didn’t plan / And I’ll bet you thought you’d beat me / Wish you could only see / I got an “I heart question mark” / Written on the back of my hand

Pigs have died and folks have eaten them, but not for love.

Don’t give up Pig. Keep showing her (gently!) you’re interested and you’ll eventually win her over. Same thing happened with MY college sweetheart and we celebrated our 50th with our kids and grandkids last month.

He gonna get a ticket for littering.

Aww… I feel bad for Pig.

A real broken heart!

Don’t worry, Pig. A little Gorilla Glue will fix it.

Forward The Light Brigade ….

That is my ex-wife’s name, this really hits close to home…

Pig should heal with some cheese.

Pour yourself a big glass of bourbon, Pig. Bad s**t happens to all of us at some point.

Awww, poor Pig’s heart.

See Pig? This is what happens when you court someone outside your species.

You did it, Pig. Not her.

Aw, Pig’s heart should have been labeled “Fragile: Handle with Care.”

Don’t worry Pig, once you find the one who will mend it, your heart will be better off.

Not sure? So you saying there’s a chance? (tyvm Lloyd from “Dumb and Dumber”)

The only thing worse than a face that gets laughed in is a ❤️ that gets broken. Cheer up, Pig, Taylor Swift is available.

Can’t relate. If anything, I am Shawna in this scenario.

“It hurts to be in love

When the only one you love

Turns out to be someone

Who’s not in love with you.”

~Gene Pitney

She tried to be nice.

Poor little heartbroken pig.

Even a heart of stone can be chipped.

This is why you need to buy a whole box….

Awww! Just pick up the pieces, Pig, and go home.

“You’re a Nice Pig(Guy), but…..”

Aw, poor Pig

There’s more than one pig in the sty, y’know…

Awww…

Proud of you, Pig. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

Death by broken heart disease

Dude, stick with Pigita. At least the both of you know what you are getting into.

it’s always some woman’s fault…

Way to cut to the chase. Saying you’re “washing your hair” every weekend gets tiresome.

Coming up on Forensic Files…

Boy, there’s a positive possibility … a good salesperson uses their foot to keep the door open.

Hope springs eternal Pig, after all she only said she’s not sure about her feelings for you. Sounds to me like you are still in the game.

It could have been worse. She could’ve said she wanted him for breakfast.

Time to get the glue out, Pig.

Look up “Hold the Heart” by Big Country. A song that is very fitting.

Ouch

“Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.”

—The Wizard

We shall now play The Spike Jones orchestra version of “You Always Hurt The One You Love”

That darn heart!

He left his heart in San Francisco and now he’s a heartless basstard

Mine was named Amy. After 20 years I gave up.

At least Pig took the hint. Someone else could’ve asked “Soo, what do you need to be sure?“ :D

Been there done that pig. Unfortunately, the unrequited aspect did nothing to hinder the heart from pursuing what it wanted. Now look what you have done, indeed.

♪Don’t go breakin’ my heart♪

It’s not hard to find someone to love. The trick is finding the person who loves you back.

At least Shawna is being honest. After all, she hardly knows Pig, how could she know if she feels that way toward him?

Shawna didn’t do it.

Everybody plays the fool, sometimes. . . .

Aww.

They say “follow your heart,” but if your heart is in a million pieces which piece do you follow? ~Author unknown

That’s one way to deal with it. At least with Pig worship from afar didn’t turn into creepy stalking.

In today’s climate, if Pig and Shawna were coworkers, Pig would likely be written up by HR for unwanted attention or for making Shawna “feel uncomfortable.“ Sure, America is filled with immature adults. :(

Never tell Pig what Shakespeare said about love and loss.

What did you expect, Pig? The Broken Heart is your Destiny….