The Heathkit Universe is simply a cosmic balloon with stardust, to be inflated more and more and more until at the End of Time the Supreme Being lets it go, or it Anyway, that’s my theory, and I’m stuck with it …
‘Assembly of God’ is another protestant sect. Microscopically different from other protestant sects. @reverandike is correct, Allen screwballs, no wrench.
“The world was made in six days, and finished on the seventh,“But according to the contract, it should’ve been the eleventh,“But the painters wouldn’t paint, and the workers wouldn’t work,“So the cheapest thing to do was to fill it up with dirt.”
The problem with Creationism – the theory that the universe is too complicated to have self-assembled (via the scientifically documented phenomena of “emergence”) – is that the creator must have also been too complicated to have self assembled, so the creator must have had a creator, and that creator a creator, and so forth. It’s creators all the way up! (Reference “Turtles all the way down”).
Ratkin Premium Member 12 months ago
Recycle the box.
uncle snipe 12 months ago
This would explain a lot. A LOT! And how many leftover pieces do ya think he had? Always pay for the professional assembly! That’s Supreme Deity 101!
Qiset 12 months ago
His IKEA shipment came.
The Reader Premium Member 12 months ago
Parental assembly required.
reverendike 12 months ago
On the first day, God created allen wrenches.
PraiseofFolly 12 months ago
The Heathkit Universe is simply a cosmic balloon with stardust, to be inflated more and more and more until at the End of Time the Supreme Being lets it go, or it Anyway, that’s my theory, and I’m stuck with it …
Doug K 12 months ago
So … Where did the box come from?
And … How were the contents of the box made?
phritzg Premium Member 12 months ago
This proves that God is a man. He didn’t bother to read the instructions when he assembled our universe.
uniquename 12 months ago
Apparently, there were some missing parts.
ArtyD2 Premium Member 12 months ago
‘Assembly of God’ is another protestant sect. Microscopically different from other protestant sects. @reverandike is correct, Allen screwballs, no wrench.
paulprobujr 12 months ago
He should have followed the directions instead of tossing them out.
InTraining Premium Member 12 months ago
Just get ahold of Best Buy Total and let them do it… Get yourself some chips and pour yourself a grog of beer…!
sandpiper 12 months ago
Obviously, the instructions were uploaded to ‘the Cloud’, which blew away.
1953Baby 12 months ago
GOOD FREAKIN’ LUCK! Try Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. . .be sure the bulldozer’s in the correct quadrant. . .
oakie817 12 months ago
God ordered from Ikea?
JudyAz 12 months ago
Just take out the two rocks inside and smash them together VERY hard!
Old recluse 12 months ago
Where they assembled Israel was a gigantic mistake. Surely somebody didn’t follow the instruction manual.
Steverino Premium Member 12 months ago
The three little words that strike fear into the hearts of parents: Some assembly required.
The Gun Doctor 12 months ago
“The world was made in six days, and finished on the seventh,“But according to the contract, it should’ve been the eleventh,“But the painters wouldn’t paint, and the workers wouldn’t work,“So the cheapest thing to do was to fill it up with dirt.”
Homerville Premium Member 12 months ago
Batteries included?
ScratchyPDX 12 months ago
So, the Big Bang was an angry outburst after God got tired of trying to follow the Ikea instructions? :)
ChessPirate 12 months ago
Oh, no, we came from Acme! ッ
Earnestly Frank 12 months ago
Assignment: Describe the universe. Give two examples.
The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member 12 months ago
“Ikea am the Lord thy God.”
Richard S Russell Premium Member 12 months ago
The State Senate wanted to pass laws all on its own but was severely reprimanded, “No, no some Assembly required!”
cuzinron47 12 months ago
In small print “Made in China”.
lawguy05 12 months ago
IKIA?
jr1234 12 months ago
You can get a Big Bang out of it by opening the box.
andrew.scharnhorst 12 months ago
It’ll take at least six days to complete. But first: need some light over here!
gliderrider 12 months ago
if the universe is 13 billion years old, what was going on 13 trillion years before
Winnipegger 12 months ago
I’m thinking that the joke would be funnier if the box had either an Amazon or an IKEA logo on it.
Joe Bo Premium Member 12 months ago
The problem with Creationism – the theory that the universe is too complicated to have self-assembled (via the scientifically documented phenomena of “emergence”) – is that the creator must have also been too complicated to have self assembled, so the creator must have had a creator, and that creator a creator, and so forth. It’s creators all the way up! (Reference “Turtles all the way down”).
h.v.greenman 12 months ago
It should say IKEA on the box.
PaintTheDust 12 months ago
Um, define “universe”…