Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for November 30, 2023

Um, yeah, because there’s nothing a sixty-plus woman would enjoy more than being left alone with two boisterous children while hubby runs off on a fool’s errand. I’m beginning to see why Ed dislikes Funky. How dare anyone be more indifferent to their family’s well-being than Ed!

Uh, Funky? Why do you have to remind Mopey that your wife is named Holly? Do you have extra wives stashed someplace, like, maybe under the basement floor?

She will get you back. Or make you pay. Or both.

So, are readers to assume from this that Cory (Holly’s son) and Rocky, who got married over in FW in June of 2022 and lost their jobs when Montoni’s closed at the end of the year, have since had twins and apparently decided to move from Ohio to Florida along with Funky and Holly? Sure, makes perfect sense.

And why, pray tell, is Holly watching the kids on her own? Where are the parents, working pizza delivery jobs in Fla.?

Anyway, Flunky, welcome back to the site of your financial failure! How are you doing with your alcoholism? Are you going to get the chance to play second fiddle to Les Moore i a new strip? Fun times, fun times!

Oh she can, can she? She will be fit to be tied when you get back. I hope she takes off and leaves you with their care for the same amount of time you left her stuck.

Just as long as she keeps the cage locked.

“So. Have you ever owned a business before?”“No.”“Ever taken any business management classes?”“No.”“Ever worked in a restaurant?”“The only job I’ve ever had is writing comic books.”“Have any experience handling money or employees?”“No.”“Why do you want to buy Montoni’s?”“So I can get free pizza.”“Well, it’s not like I care what happens to this dump any more. Here are the keys. Good luck with the black mold in the basement.”

Yes, because I just met you both, I want you to make sure that you know that my wife’s name is Holly.

I just read Funky recently ended his strip and I am sad to have trouble finding it in reruns now. (And after uncalled-for comments like Bill Thompson’s, I miss it even more.) What happened?

Will Mopey Pete bring back the beloved tradition of Decorate ’Til Dawn?

And I always thought soap operas drug out too long.

My wife tells people we used to be retired…now, thanks to babysitting responsibilities, she tells them we’re just tired. Any Hoo, thanks for the family update Funky. Now, get back on that plane and disappear.

Holly and her flaming batons!

Love the sense of humor……..and not boring response!!!!!

I remember some comedian years ago saying that, if you only have two kids, you’ve got man-to-man coverage, but once you have a third kid, you have to switch to zone, and someone always gets through.

Where’s Crankshaft?

Where are the kids’ parents?

“We usually employ a zone defense….”

Ooh, Batiuk slyly inserts a sports meme, along with various others. His critics are going to be doing some heavy multi-tsk-ing.

He’ll get home with a yellow flag on the door.

ROUGHING THE QUARTERBACK.

“You know, my wife Holly used to do this ‘flaming baton’ trick back in high school. It usually resulted in her getting severe burns over her entire body. Anyway, she said she was going to teach the grandkids some fun activities while I was away…”

Rats – my prediction of Ed picking up Funky in his school bus was wrong. But Ed already showed up one day this week, so they probably didn’t want to pay him overtime.

Where’s “Where’s Crankshaft”? Took a day off from moping about this delightful strip ?

As Don Rickles likes to say—“You’re old,Funky,you’re OLD!!”

Cranky McFunkerbean

Shafty Funkbeanercrank

Beany Crankerfunk

Good luck Mom…..

My last time reading this drivvel. So long.

Whiny Finkerbean.

Stanky Wankerbrain—and his pal Moon Maid! (you get it or you don’t; no foul either way)

Haha! (＾▽＾)