Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 30, 2023

That’s awful lot of mourners, for a lawyer.

Eventually a human or robot will dig him up, so he won’t be there for eternity.

At least it wasn’t “under the ocean.”

My dad was a lawyer. One of the most ethical individuals I have ever known. My father-in-law, a realtor, would on occasion say terrible things about lawyers and would preface his remarks saying, I know your dad was a lawyer, but….as if that made it okay to disparage other lawyers but not make it personal, gah! As if realtors are a higher form of humanity.

Is that coffin specially iron-clad … or is it just boiler-plate?

That lawyer may have made the world a better place – by leaving it.

It can go both ways. My sister was a bit overbearing with my mother’s estate lawyer, and after 20 years relationship with our family, the law firm fired us as clients. They charged nothing for services already provided, just to stop having to deal with my sister.

No loopholes in that contract.

“A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that I be forgiven for anything I may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which I may be eligible after the destruction of my body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.”― Roger Zelazny, Creatures of Light and Darknes

If you’ve never read Zelazny, you’re missing out. If you have read him, you should be telling people about him.

My cousin was a lawyer. He made fun of his own profession. “So this guy takes a dive on my client’s property …”

I took one course in law myself in grad school. It was geared towards engineers so it focused on intellectual property and product liability. What I learned was justice is proportional to the amount of money you are willing to spend on it.

Encase him in concrete so he can’t escape.

they’re just all lawyers

Disparage them how you will. Just be sure the one you need hasn’t read your insults.

A ironclad contract that no one can get out of, not even a shyster lawyer.

Just happy to learn they didn’t put him in escrow.

Not to exceed eternity. Hard to enforce

Buried in paperwork.

How’d he die?

That reminds me, how many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb – none, they all are writing insurance briefs and contracts for the one they hire to do it…

If he’s with DC or Marvel comics, he won’t be dead long

..and that is before the fine print….

…Good Start…!

He/she, being the party of the first part …

That one large guy in the back might’ve been responsible for there needing to be a requiem in the first place.

The length of the term is nonnegotiable.

To eternity and beyond.