Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 31, 2023

Why is the green pitcher blue?

“I don’t think I’ve had a moment to sit down since we reopened! Do you think it’s possible we might need to hire a third person to work here?”

Well, Mopey, you’ll be too busy to do any comic-book work . . . you’re right, I don’t see a downside to this either.

The good thing about those silhouette frames is that they prove somebody took Introduction to Art back in school. I wonder if it was Batiuk or Davis?

Being in the restaurant business is hard work

Just noticed there’s a pic of John Darling in the background of the last panel

Welcome to reality, doofuses.

Wait till they do the books and see their net profit in the form of pocket change.

Man with decades of pizzeria experience: Failure! Dumbo who’s had everything in life handed to him on a silver pizza platter without doing anything BUT LIKES COMICAL BOOKS: All the SUCCESS! Author who literally has no idea what a “Gary Stu” is: One extra year of syndication. Tom, just change the strip’s name to “PETEY GODLIKEBEING” and make it official.

Nice off-model art on Mournday there. If her face gets any longer, she’ll be fighting Ripley in her P-5000 Powered Work Loader. “Get away from Crankshaft, Westview B—!”

“Montoni’s is back, and then some! It’s the bee’s knees! We’re full of Moxie! I’m unclear whether it’s the cat’s meow or the cat’s pajamas, but let’s drink some Ovaltine and listen to Fibber McGee and Molly on the radio, then hit the hay!” Mindy: “Boy, am I bushed! Also: 23 Skidoo!” (Yes, I know it could be worse. Even Tommy knows not to say “FLEEK, fam! Let’s yeet some TikToks!”)

YaY!

If the restaurant does well, it’ll pay your rent/mortgage, and maybe have a little extra left over.

……Success…….first week????

“Since WE reopened?” Technically, you just opened, because you never had a business before.

We finish December and Crankshaft has been shown in eleven strips—-although he only spoke in 5 of them. Still, he managed to appear more often than Lil (ten strips). But less frequently than Funky (12 strips) and waaaaaaaaay less than Mopey Pete and Minty, who showed up in 22 of the 31 strips of December.

It’s funny because Mopey is forgetting

Ed Crankshaft is not the only character in this comic. Sometimes the writer features other characters.

Amazing was all it took to revive a failing pizzeria was to close it, then reopen a year later looking exactly the same, with the exact same menu, and it’s not driving all other restaurants in the area out of business.

The downside is finding personal time for you and Mindy. Or, even for you to keep up with what you now intend to be your side gig, drawing comics.

Where’s The Pizza Box Monster? How come he gets to be half or part owner and not have to do any work except rake in the dough (pun intended)? With all this success he can probably afford to upgrade his box clothing.

Mopey Peat looks… unwell.

Aw, poor Mopey Pete. Being an unmitigated success at everything you do must be a real burden. /s

World leaders should ask you to create world peace.

Mopey Pete: Hold my apron.

It’s time to put away your Montoni’s play set, Mr. Batiuk, and move on. Can we please return to our regularly scheduled Crankshaft now? Please?!

If business is good they can hire help

With any luck there are some unused Funkyverse characters looking for work

And welcome to the Adult World of entrepreneurship. Hang on, it’s gonna be a bumpy voyage.

You have to keep doing it… every day… for the rest of your life… until cancer (or maybe CTE) brings you the sweet, sweet relief of death.

“Oh, well!! You’ll just have to work a LOT harder, Mindy! See you next week, I’m off to a comic book convention. And get the mop, looks like a kid just barfed all over Table 8.”