Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 20, 2023

  1. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  11 months ago

    How many people went with “Hurry up, January”?

     •  Reply
  2. Missing large
    Hello Everyone  11 months ago

    StarBitter Coffee! StarBicks is pretty cool too.

     •  Reply
  3. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY  11 months ago

    “Oops, I forgot to get something for your sister.”

     •  Reply
  4. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  11 months ago

    Not dreenk at steenky StarBAHs and you be cheerfuls.

     •  Reply
  5. 1628996 t1
    enigmamz  11 months ago

    “Do you want rum/room?”

     •  Reply
  6. New badger avatar
    tudza Premium Member 11 months ago

    Hey now, I got to do my Minnie the Moocher using my new Tuvan throat singing voice at an office Christmas party. It was the best.

     •  Reply
  7. Avatar tmp 56884 thumb
    orinoco womble  11 months ago

    My favourite is “Doing Christmas on Our Own This Year and Loving It!”

     •  Reply
  8. Grandbudapesthotel cr alamy
    Imagine  11 months ago

    Just an espresso with two slices of toast with English lime marmalade, and I’m happy.

     •  Reply
  9. Mrpeabodyboysherman
    iggyman  11 months ago

    I’ll go with the “We’ll do more in ’24”!

     •  Reply
  10. Img 20230511 134023590 portrait 5
    markkahler52  11 months ago

    I went with “Next Year’s Election Year.” (It was that or “Suicide Sanka!”)

     •  Reply
  11. Img 0536
    akachman Premium Member 11 months ago

    LOL! Nailed it!

     •  Reply
  12. Huckandfish
    Huckleberry Hiroshima  11 months ago

    No wonder you’re so mean.

     •  Reply
  13. Ignatz
    Ignatz Premium Member 11 months ago

    One year, I ASKED my father what to get him. He said he needed a new wallet, so I bought him a wallet. He got mad at me because it was an expensive wallet. “This is real leather. What did you spend?”

    The most frustrating man on earth, and I miss him terribly.

     •  Reply
  14. 250
    ladykat  11 months ago

    I’m with Rat – this time of year makes me actively suicidal!

     •  Reply
  15. Missing large
    Znox11  11 months ago

    With or without whipped cream?

     •  Reply
  16. Pirate63
    Linguist  11 months ago

    After 3 brain surgeries, and almost 3 long months of intensive care in the hospital, my 12-year-old grandson will be coming home Friday.

    BEST CHRISTMAS, EVER!!!

     •  Reply
  17. Photo 1501706362039 c06b2d715385
    Zebrastripes  11 months ago

    What happened to being positive?

     •  Reply
  18. Ellis archer profile
    Ellis97  11 months ago

    How about “Retail Workers Deserve Some Appreciation?”

     •  Reply
  19. Win 20201204 12 32 23 pro
    oakie817  11 months ago

    remember it’s @ before # except after $

     •  Reply
  20. Nollanav
    DaBump Premium Member 11 months ago

    Does Mr. Pastis need a hug?

     •  Reply
  21. Chief wahoo
    aerotica69  11 months ago

    Look, give me a hot chocolate with a peppermint stick in it. Done and done.

     •  Reply
  22. 3083024 0826053922 daveb
    Kaputnik  11 months ago

    How about “Is it really that hard to make your own darn coffee?”

     •  Reply
  23. Missing large
    Guido San  11 months ago

    Because you paid $6 for a coffee Rat.

     •  Reply
  24. Missing large
    uniquename  11 months ago

    It must have a very bitter taste.

     •  Reply
  25. Img 1610
    WCraft Premium Member 11 months ago

    Sadly it is true and not funny. Depression spikes during this holiday. Find somebody who will be alone and make them part of your celebration.

     •  Reply
  26. Donbot
    del_grande Premium Member 11 months ago

    Do what I do – don’t bother going to office Christmas parties (well, unless it’s something like a “Christmas” Pot Luck lunch at work).

     •  Reply
  27. Image
    Tetonbil  11 months ago

    Christmas hint, Dad just wants time with you. Best gift ever!

     •  Reply
  28. Google profile picture
    Sir Isaac  11 months ago

    I’ll have a cup of misery with a dash of despair.

     •  Reply
  29. Unnamed3
    minty_Joe  11 months ago

    The “12 Pains of Christmas” by Bob Rivers is another flavor people seem to like. Yes, let’s all sing that one along, shall we?

    “The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me, is finding a Christmas tree.

    The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me, rigging up the lights and finding a Christmas tree."

     •  Reply
  30. 96480   copy  2
    Goat from PBS  11 months ago

    With those names, peppermint doesn’t sound so bad now.

     •  Reply
  31. Bluedog
    Bilan  11 months ago

    ‘Why Am I So Depressed This Time Of Year’ is a coffee best served cold.

     •  Reply
  32. Hobo
    MeGoNow Premium Member 11 months ago

    Why Am I So Depressed This Year? Is that the same as Pumpkin Spice?

     •  Reply
  33. Me  mick foley
    dwkiser28603  11 months ago

    How you don’t get sued for copyright is beyond me Pastis

     •  Reply
  34. Missing large
    wildlandwaters  11 months ago

    Wait…what?…no pumpkin spice?!?

     •  Reply
  35. Frog 17
    diegot  11 months ago

    I went with the tried and trusted: “Bah, humbug!”

     •  Reply
  36. Mrpeabodyboysherman
    iggyman  11 months ago

    Why does the Waitresses’ song “Christmas Wrapping” come to mind?

     •  Reply
  37. Missing large
    John Jorgensen  11 months ago

    That wasn’t on the list.

     •  Reply
  38. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  11 months ago

    My choice: “Where is the closest NURU masseuse?”

     •  Reply
  39. Missing large
    Moore 1  11 months ago

    Well in Canada we have Tim Hortons Baileys Iced Capp and Baileys Cold Brew with Baileys Flavoured Foam Just think you go to the drive-thru and get a Baileys.

     •  Reply
  40. Greg backlit
    mindjob  11 months ago

    Just an Irish coffee and pretend im at the opera

     •  Reply
  41. Missing large
    elgrecousa Premium Member 11 months ago

    Why do people get depressed around the Holidays?

     •  Reply
  42. Kirby close up with poppies behind   close cropped
    mistercatworks  11 months ago

    I want the “Just Give Me My Espresso So I Don’t Have to Wait for 20 People Ordering Coffee-Flavored Milk Shakes” and a small glass of sparkling water to cleanse the palate. :)

     •  Reply
  43. Missing large
    katebofde  11 months ago

    I feel you. I need spring.

     •  Reply
  44. Waldo
    Indianapolis Smith  11 months ago

    Is that the one with extra rum?

     •  Reply
  45. Amazing fox photos 25
    eddi-TBH  11 months ago

    Realism is not the reason for the season.

     •  Reply
  46. Missing large
    Otis Rufus Driftwood  11 months ago

    After Pastis gave us a wonderful Christmas strip yesterday, this was not such a great follow up. I know this isn’t a great season for everyone, but still.

     •  Reply
  47. Thinker
    Sisyphos  11 months ago

    Why waste time and money at Starbicks? Just fix up a nice hot Nescafe at home!

     •  Reply
  48. Img 4475
    carlosrivers  11 months ago

    Is that guard duck on the Starbicks logo?

     •  Reply
  49. Missing large
    alantain  9 months ago

    I would have gotten a “Would you stop playing Christmas music already!?!”

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine