Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 05, 2024

Rat, you still have time to work yourself back in.

The meek shall inherit the Earth, and the rest of us shall take it away from them.

Rat needs to stock up on asbestos.

Practice climbing walls and squeezing through tight spaces. Maybe there’s a way out of the underworld.

I dunno… Rat’s spirit is about as poor as it gets.

I’m sure Satan wrote you into his will!

It is called Celebrate Recovery with 8 principals based upon the Beatitudes, and it is designed to help you overcome your hurts, habits, an hang-ups.

And boy do you have some hang-ups.

Blessed are the cheesemakers.

Blessed are the Greek.

Father Gus should tell Rat that he better pray that there is not really an afterlife because if there is, he will likely be visiting the Nine Circles of He!! of Dante’s Inferno!

You’ll get nothing and like it!

Rat gets an free ticket on the Lake of Fire Express.

Meek will inherit earth? Come on everyone know that be impossible.

I find humility means to be hurt. It’s not the earth the meek inherit, it’s the dirt. Seven Deadly Virtues-Camelot

There was a desk graffiti at my university that said “The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth.” Someone else had added “If it’s all right with the rest of you.”

The meek will inherit the Earth, but then it will be in such bad shape no one will want it.

The geeks shall inherit the Earth.

Blessed are the beer makers!! (Many likes and perhaps a reply or two to follow!!)

You break out the beatitudes when your flock starts to question the religion. When they complain that things aren’t getting any better and none of the promises made are coming true, the beatitudes say “Oh, but they will. You just might be dead when they do”.

LOL! Hang in there, Rat. You’ll have plenty of us there for company.

God will never die. He has no will.

Rat follows the Malattitudes.

There’s still hope for you, Rat,

The sad reality is that the Beatitudes are considered woke by many.

“The Meek shall inherit the earth, which won’t be worth having when the Strong are finished with it” – Marty Feldman

Revelation, the lake of fire. All yours, Rat.

AMEN.

Not just you, Rat.

RAT you need to repent!

The good news is that Pig is in like Flynn.

For the day is coming when they will say “Blessed are the sterile, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed.”

There must be SOMETHING in the Bible about kindness to animals.Even the unworthy animals.

Matthew 7:6 (KJV)!

When I see the passage from Matthew 5:3, I also think of the corresponding passage from Luke: 6:20 “Then he looked up at his disciples and said:’Blessed are you who are poor, (italics mine) for yours is the kingdom of God.21 ’Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled.’Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh….”

Ohhh, they’ll get something, all right.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they catch hell from both sides.

Father Gus was just kidding, in part……..

They shall inherit Hell.

Fun Fact: Father Gus is a real person he’s the pastor at Pastis’ church.

On the positive side, you have a good shot at being a GOP representative on Congress.

What is Pig sitting on?

And the MAGA will get NADA.

The problem is not that Christianity is not being taught in the schools.

The problem is that Christianity is not being taught in the churches.

I had no idea Rat was religious.

Yep! Treat people/animals like crap and you get written out of the will!

The Beatitudes are another irrational religious delusion. The meek will never inherit the earth; the powerful will.

Blessed are the Cheese Curds that squeak when very fresh.

Blessed are the Firelovers, for their hearts are always warm.

Hmm. The Be-rat-itudes?

Bringing Salvation one comic strip at at time . . . who would have thought Pearls would be ministering pearls . . . My two cents!

If the meek did inherit the earth there would be no global warming

Is it fair that having a poor spirit is a ticket to Heaven?

Rat doesn’t get the Heaven-thing. Literally….

On behalf of the meek, “Thank you ever so much!” And yes, that would be sarcasm.