Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 11, 2024

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    BE THIS GUY  11 months ago

    I’ll take that.

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    salakfarm Premium Member 11 months ago

    Wise a** is wise. The full spelling gets it censored.

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    DanielRyanMulligan1  11 months ago

    Some people want the “right” to choose that ending, just ask the guy, played by Richard Dreyfuss, in whose life is it anyway, (NOT THE IMPROV SHOW, whose line is it anyway!!!!) who fought for the “right” to “choose” his ending…Dan aka…

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    BasilBruce  11 months ago

    So, life is an early ’70s movie?

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    The dude from FL  Premium Member 11 months ago

    We can only hope wise a’s

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    Bilan  11 months ago

    I want my life to be like a movie that ends with “To Be Continued …”

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    Jesy Bertz Premium Member 11 months ago

    And people walk out just as the credits roll.

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    B UTTONS  11 months ago

    You spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral.

    https://www.gocomics. com/rabbitsagainstmagic/2024/01/11?ct=v&cti=1213174

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    iggyman  11 months ago

    What did the Kenny Rodger’s song say? “The most you could hope for is to die in your sleep!”

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    markkahler52  11 months ago

    O well…try to win a few Oscars if you can…

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    Imagine  11 months ago

    Life is fatal.

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    priyansh.jeziel  11 months ago

    Again, Mr. Pastis has given us hope, through the words of Mr. Wise-Ass.

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    Flynn White Premium Member 11 months ago

    I honestly don’t fear death like some people. I’d just rather not be there when it happens.

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    Ellis97  11 months ago

    I’d like to go with “life is a race”. We will get to the finish eventually.

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    KageKat  11 months ago

    I would add “And you’re not completely alone when it happens” to that list.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member 11 months ago

    Enjoy Life while you can. You’ll never get out of it alive.

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    Indiana Guy  11 months ago

    “Sometimes I think, life is just a rodeo… the trick is to ride, and make it to the bell.” — some song, I can’t remember the name

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    Packratjohn Premium Member 11 months ago

    I have a sign I put out at Halloween, “Life is a Witch, and Then You Fly.”

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 11 months ago

    Lemont: If you could have people say just one thing about you at your funeral … what would it be?

    Clyde: Hey! Look! He’s breathing!

    —Darrin Bell, Candorville, 2010 Sep. 28
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    kaycstamper  11 months ago

    If you want we can insert pain to your ending.

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    MS72  11 months ago

    The Wicked Witch of the East agrees.

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    eric_harris_76  11 months ago

    Someone — Hemingway? Orson Wells? — said something to the effect that every story can have a happy ending, if you know when to stop.

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    F-Flash  11 months ago

    Billy Joel sang, “Only the good die young”, the question becomes, who determines “Young”?

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    Goat from PBS  11 months ago

    In the moments before I die, I want to hear a sickle-wielding wolf whistling in the distance.

    “I knew I could never defeat you, lobo, but I never stopped fighting for this life.”

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    [Traveler] Premium Member 11 months ago

    I had a college professor who used to say that if you knew ahead of time where you were going to die, you wouldn’t go there

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    ekw555  11 months ago

    sooner would have worked too.

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    Egrayjames  11 months ago

    Remember, One man’s “Wise A$$ on the hill!” is another man’s ’’Dumb A$$ on a pile of shite!"

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    wongo  11 months ago

    Unfortunately, it’s seldom quick and seldom painless.

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    ksu71  11 months ago

    I just want to know where I well die. Then I won’t go there.

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    aerotica69  11 months ago

    Fingers crossed.

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    Budster01  11 months ago

    When I go, I want to go like my grandfather did, quietly in my sleep. Unlike the passengers in his car.

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    ladykat  11 months ago

    That would be nice.

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    JudyAz  11 months ago

    Life’s an ok movie. I just wish there weren’t so many commercials.

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    DaBump Premium Member 11 months ago

    Pretty sad if that’s the best you can hope for. Too bad I don’t have time to post a link to my short story, “The Zzizzm Experiment.”

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    Croc Holliday  11 months ago

    Hoping to go peacefully in my sleep. Being an introvert, I’d prefer not to make a dramatic exit.

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    oish  11 months ago

    Sure the death itself is painless – it’s just every second leading up to that point can be a big pain

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    ajr58(1)  11 months ago

    Don’t want to go by the devil

    Don’t want to go by the demon

    Don’t want to go by Satan

    Don’t want to die uneasy

    Just let me go naturally

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    royq27  11 months ago

    As my Mom would say, “then you know the secret”…

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    Zebrastripes  11 months ago

    Not all deaths are painless….☹️

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    kittygatos  11 months ago

    There’s a saying that people should laugh when you are born and cry when you die. Then you know your life has been worth it. Netflix has a very apropos series “Six Feet Under”.

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    John Jorgensen  11 months ago

    This seems to be a paraphrase of “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” A quick Google search has two or three sites apiece attributing the quote to Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, and Leonard Cohen, and that’s just on the first page.

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    Steverino Premium Member 11 months ago

    The GOOD NEWS: We are all going to die of something, someday.

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    Steverino Premium Member 11 months ago

    I want to die in my sleep like my father did. Not screaming like the other passengers in the car.

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    John Lamb Premium Member 11 months ago

    Good health is merely the slowest rate at which we can die. My favorite curse is, “May you have a long, slow death.” People don’t know how to take that.

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    David_the_CAD  11 months ago

    A man from our church set an example for me years ago.

    he was 98, still lived in his own home and drove his own car (less than 2 miles for any trip). One day he had lunch in the restaurant that he always ate at and went home. The next day his son found him sitting in his favorite chair with a book on his lab, and a smile on his face.

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    sheashea  11 months ago

    I’ve always thought that too.

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    marilynnbyerly  11 months ago

    Death can be extremely painful. Don’t knock a painless one.

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    KEA  11 months ago

    Life is stupid.

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  11 months ago

    The last laugh comes after death, when you cut all your greedy relatives out of the will

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    cactusbob333  11 months ago

    I have been led to think about this lately. Had a heart monitor installed this A.M. and awaiting a catheter procedure to install a valve for aortic stenosis. I hope to hang around a bit longer.

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    Croc Holliday  11 months ago

    Quentin: The good news is the engine has exploded and we’re all going to die.

    Dave: How is that good news?

    Quentin: I haven’t yet told you how we’re going to die. That’s the bad news.

    Pirate Radio (2009)

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    Buoy  11 months ago

    Endings can be a conflicting time. We rarely want a good book, movie, song, or party to end. And yet, somehow, an ending imbues often a greater meaning, or an urgency to engage that would not be there if something just went on endlessly. Some things should definitely last longer though. If I could add another ten or so years to my dogs life, I would gladly give up a couple of my own. Some things feel criminally short.

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    sperry532  11 months ago

    Yep. Best case.

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    Arghhgarrr Premium Member 11 months ago

    I’ll stick with Julius Caesar’s preferred type of death, unexpected.

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    einarbt  11 months ago

    Well that depends. For a lot of people life is never okay from the cradle to the grave.

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    franki_g  11 months ago

    “Mostly Harmless” – Ford Prefect (the hitchhiker, not the car)

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  11 months ago

    I’m really starting to dislike the Wise Donkey.

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    jdsven  11 months ago

    …like LOST.

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    EXCALABUR  11 months ago

    Not if you know the Lord and accept him as your Savior.

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    johnschutt  11 months ago

    That’s just leaving the body. It ain’t over then.

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    johnschutt  11 months ago

    It isn’t over when you die.

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    Sisyphos  11 months ago

    Will no one rid me of this Wise A$$ on the Hill? Quick and painless, or not….

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