Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 11, 2024

  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY  10 months ago

    I’ll take that.

     •  Reply
  2. Gt r at vmi jdp
    salakfarm Premium Member 10 months ago

    Wise a** is wise. The full spelling gets it censored.

     •  Reply
  3. Aoh14ggnpr0bjht13a1u9vlhky2idrnlstoohaw9irxd=s96 c
    DanielRyanMulligan1  10 months ago

    Some people want the “right” to choose that ending, just ask the guy, played by Richard Dreyfuss, in whose life is it anyway, (NOT THE IMPROV SHOW, whose line is it anyway!!!!) who fought for the “right” to “choose” his ending…Dan aka…

     •  Reply
  4. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  10 months ago

    So, life is an early ’70s movie?

     •  Reply
  5. Unnamed
    The dude from FL  Premium Member 10 months ago

    We can only hope wise a’s

     •  Reply
  6. Bluedog
    Bilan  10 months ago

    I want my life to be like a movie that ends with “To Be Continued …”

     •  Reply
  7. Img 3705
    Jesy Bertz Premium Member 10 months ago

    And people walk out just as the credits roll.

     •  Reply
  8. Crazyforkedindianpalmsquirrel max 1mb
    B UTTONS  10 months ago

    You spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral.

    https://www.gocomics. com/rabbitsagainstmagic/2024/01/11?ct=v&cti=1213174

     •  Reply
  9. Mrpeabodyboysherman
    iggyman  10 months ago

    What did the Kenny Rodger’s song say? “The most you could hope for is to die in your sleep!”

     •  Reply
  10. Img 20230511 134023590 portrait 5
    markkahler52  10 months ago

    O well…try to win a few Oscars if you can…

     •  Reply
  11. Grandbudapesthotel cr alamy
    Imagine  10 months ago

    Life is fatal.

     •  Reply
  12. Missing large
    priyansh.jeziel  10 months ago

    Again, Mr. Pastis has given us hope, through the words of Mr. Wise-Ass.

     •  Reply
  13. 0c5a4e3d 157f 410c aff6 25f4454f024a
    Flynn White Premium Member 10 months ago

    I honestly don’t fear death like some people. I’d just rather not be there when it happens.

     •  Reply
  14. Ellis archer profile
    Ellis97  10 months ago

    I’d like to go with “life is a race”. We will get to the finish eventually.

     •  Reply
  15. Missing large
    KageKat  10 months ago

    I would add “And you’re not completely alone when it happens” to that list.

     •  Reply
  16. Packrat
    Packratjohn Premium Member 10 months ago

    Enjoy Life while you can. You’ll never get out of it alive.

     •  Reply
  17. Me4
    Hoosier Guy  10 months ago

    “Sometimes I think, life is just a rodeo… the trick is to ride, and make it to the bell.” — some song, I can’t remember the name

     •  Reply
  18. Packrat
    Packratjohn Premium Member 10 months ago

    I have a sign I put out at Halloween, “Life is a Witch, and Then You Fly.”

     •  Reply
  19. Plsa button
    Richard S Russell Premium Member 10 months ago

    Lemont: If you could have people say just one thing about you at your funeral … what would it be?

    Clyde: Hey! Look! He’s breathing!

    —Darrin Bell, Candorville, 2010 Sep. 28
     •  Reply
  20. Kay 053021
    kaycstamper  10 months ago

    If you want we can insert pain to your ending.

     •  Reply
  21. Boston
    MS72  10 months ago

    The Wicked Witch of the East agrees.

     •  Reply
  22. Missing large
    eric_harris_76  10 months ago

    Someone — Hemingway? Orson Wells? — said something to the effect that every story can have a happy ending, if you know when to stop.

     •  Reply
  23. 1959 chevy elcamino
    F-Flash  10 months ago

    Billy Joel sang, “Only the good die young”, the question becomes, who determines “Young”?

     •  Reply
  24. 96480   copy  2
    Goat from PBS  10 months ago

    In the moments before I die, I want to hear a sickle-wielding wolf whistling in the distance.

    “I knew I could never defeat you, lobo, but I never stopped fighting for this life.”

     •  Reply
  25. Cobra 1
    [Traveler] Premium Member 10 months ago

    I had a college professor who used to say that if you knew ahead of time where you were going to die, you wouldn’t go there

     •  Reply
  26. Missing large
    ekw555  10 months ago

    sooner would have worked too.

     •  Reply
  27. Missing large
    Egrayjames  10 months ago

    Remember, One man’s “Wise A$$ on the hill!” is another man’s ’’Dumb A$$ on a pile of shite!"

     •  Reply
  28. Missing large
    wongo  10 months ago

    Unfortunately, it’s seldom quick and seldom painless.

     •  Reply
  29. Images
    ksu71  10 months ago

    I just want to know where I well die. Then I won’t go there.

     •  Reply
  30. Chief wahoo
    aerotica69  10 months ago

    Fingers crossed.

     •  Reply
  31. Kill bill vol 2   soundtrack ab
    Budster01  10 months ago

    When I go, I want to go like my grandfather did, quietly in my sleep. Unlike the passengers in his car.

     •  Reply
  32. 250
    ladykat  10 months ago

    That would be nice.

     •  Reply
  33. Andi   silhouette
    JudyAz  10 months ago

    Life’s an ok movie. I just wish there weren’t so many commercials.

     •  Reply
  34. Nollanav
    DaBump Premium Member 10 months ago

    Pretty sad if that’s the best you can hope for. Too bad I don’t have time to post a link to my short story, “The Zzizzm Experiment.”

     •  Reply
  35. Gators
    Croc Holliday  10 months ago

    Hoping to go peacefully in my sleep. Being an introvert, I’d prefer not to make a dramatic exit.

     •  Reply
  36. 533e
    oish  10 months ago

    Sure the death itself is painless – it’s just every second leading up to that point can be a big pain

     •  Reply
  37. Fe9a6b5e df21 4f3a bf55 4590a5295ee7
    ajr58(1)  10 months ago

    Don’t want to go by the devil

    Don’t want to go by the demon

    Don’t want to go by Satan

    Don’t want to die uneasy

    Just let me go naturally

     •  Reply
  38. Missing large
    royq27  10 months ago

    As my Mom would say, “then you know the secret”…

     •  Reply
  39. Photo 1501706362039 c06b2d715385
    Zebrastripes  10 months ago

    Not all deaths are painless….☹️

     •  Reply
  40. Missing large
    kittygatos  10 months ago

    There’s a saying that people should laugh when you are born and cry when you die. Then you know your life has been worth it. Netflix has a very apropos series “Six Feet Under”.

     •  Reply
  41. Missing large
    John Jorgensen  10 months ago

    This seems to be a paraphrase of “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” A quick Google search has two or three sites apiece attributing the quote to Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, and Leonard Cohen, and that’s just on the first page.

     •  Reply
  42. Apollo 11 launch 04
    Steverino Premium Member 10 months ago

    The GOOD NEWS: We are all going to die of something, someday.

     •  Reply
  43. Apollo 11 launch 04
    Steverino Premium Member 10 months ago

    I want to die in my sleep like my father did. Not screaming like the other passengers in the car.

     •  Reply
  44. 1
    John Lamb Premium Member 10 months ago

    Good health is merely the slowest rate at which we can die. My favorite curse is, “May you have a long, slow death.” People don’t know how to take that.

     •  Reply
  45. Missing large
    David_the_CAD  10 months ago

    A man from our church set an example for me years ago.

    he was 98, still lived in his own home and drove his own car (less than 2 miles for any trip). One day he had lunch in the restaurant that he always ate at and went home. The next day his son found him sitting in his favorite chair with a book on his lab, and a smile on his face.

     •  Reply
  46. Missing large
    sheashea  10 months ago

    I’ve always thought that too.

     •  Reply
  47. Mbsils
    marilynnbyerly  10 months ago

    Death can be extremely painful. Don’t knock a painless one.

     •  Reply
  48. 689 6897683 blue rebel alliance logo png transparent png
    KEA  10 months ago

    Life is stupid.

     •  Reply
  49. Missing large
    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  10 months ago

    The last laugh comes after death, when you cut all your greedy relatives out of the will

     •  Reply
  50. Mime attachment
    cactusbob333  10 months ago

    I have been led to think about this lately. Had a heart monitor installed this A.M. and awaiting a catheter procedure to install a valve for aortic stenosis. I hope to hang around a bit longer.

     •  Reply
  51. Gators
    Croc Holliday  10 months ago

    Quentin: The good news is the engine has exploded and we’re all going to die.

    Dave: How is that good news?

    Quentin: I haven’t yet told you how we’re going to die. That’s the bad news.

    Pirate Radio (2009)

     •  Reply
  52. 98dc6e4d 2f79 4b1b b6ad 40e22f07889d
    Buoy  10 months ago

    Endings can be a conflicting time. We rarely want a good book, movie, song, or party to end. And yet, somehow, an ending imbues often a greater meaning, or an urgency to engage that would not be there if something just went on endlessly. Some things should definitely last longer though. If I could add another ten or so years to my dogs life, I would gladly give up a couple of my own. Some things feel criminally short.

     •  Reply
  53. Daffy duck   freakout   icon
    sperry532  10 months ago

    Yep. Best case.

     •  Reply
  54. Missing large
    Arghhgarrr Premium Member 10 months ago

    I’ll stick with Julius Caesar’s preferred type of death, unexpected.

     •  Reply
  55. P1030260
    einarbt  10 months ago

    Well that depends. For a lot of people life is never okay from the cradle to the grave.

     •  Reply
  56. Crankyc
    franki_g  10 months ago

    “Mostly Harmless” – Ford Prefect (the hitchhiker, not the car)

     •  Reply
  57. Missing large
    Otis Rufus Driftwood  10 months ago

    I’m really starting to dislike the Wise Donkey.

     •  Reply
  58. Missing large
    jdsven  10 months ago

    …like LOST.

     •  Reply
  59. Dogs 003
    EXCALABUR  10 months ago

    Not if you know the Lord and accept him as your Savior.

     •  Reply
  60. Missing large
    johnschutt  10 months ago

    That’s just leaving the body. It ain’t over then.

     •  Reply
  61. Missing large
    johnschutt  10 months ago

    It isn’t over when you die.

     •  Reply
  62. Thinker
    Sisyphos  10 months ago

    Will no one rid me of this Wise A$$ on the Hill? Quick and painless, or not….

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine