Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for February 05, 2024

Where’s Crankshaft?

“And if it doesn’t scan—it must be FREE!” You know these are the “witticisms” Tom throws at every retail worker he sees. Then he laffs, supplying his own laugh track so that all the other customers know how funny he is! TB, I worked 45 years in retail. You have never in your life seen a smile that wasn’t forced.

“Silver Age,” Indiana Jones says. “Why does it have to be Silver Age?”

Hot dog! A week of Dinkle and the OMEA, followed by a week of DeadSkunkHead John at Komix Korner? And then next week Jfff and his grandson (or is that his inner child avatar?) can go downstairs to Montoni’s and see his future son-in-law, Mopey Pete! Boy, the folks who come to this page to read the exploits of Ed Crankshaft must be ecstatic!

Also, yes, Jfff, you’re John’s first customer of the day…too bad it’s 4:50 in the afternoon. Maybe there’d be more business if he wasn’t trying to push a two-year-old “Death of the Justice League” comic like it’s a new release.

There’s Jff with his grandchild, I guess. Just remember, Jff, when you’re growing up you can’t properly appreciate Silver Age comics and “The Phantom Empire” unless you’ve endured a nasty childhood trauma!

C’mon, Silver-Aged Fatuous Dweeb, is this the child who’s a different age every time we see him, or Jeff’s Inner Bad Seed that comes from his mildewed walnut of a brain? How many omnibuses can this one haul?

Komix Korner eh. Me had feeling we be seeing Komix Korner sooner or later.

Is this where Jfff whines about his mother forcing him to throw away all his silver age comic books?

Isn’t everyone a senior at the local comic shop?

“Hahaha. Get out or I’ll call the cops.”

Nice head there, sport! Steal it from a graveyard?

In panel one, the Homunculus looks like he’s scoping the place out to see what he’s going to break (and in what order he’s going to break things). Go for it, kid!

Oh crap

That owner has been around Crank to gather that comment!

Boy, that Tommy Batiuk is one ‘with-it’ dude and is on the cutting edge of pop culture. Who else has heard of this new thing called ‘Yelp’.

Where’s Crankshaft?

That shop paid ME $10.00 to take HECKLER #1 off their hands

Boring…Where’s Crankshaft…….

Oh good grief, are we back to comic books again?

Here we are, still in Funky world.

theres no way this can be a week long story

Geeze people, go back to bed

Welcome to more of Force-fed Funky Winkerbean. Featuring John ‘Dead Skunkhead’ Howard and the Komix Korner. A story arc demanded by absolutely no one.

Ed Crankshaft, please come home. All is forgiven.

Why am I not surprised no one is inquiring, “Where’s Crazy Harry?”

Doesn’t he work at the Komix Korner anymore?

When my wife and I were in our mid 50’s, my wife was asked if she qualified for the senior discount, and on that very same day I was purchasing a 6 pack of beer…and got carded!!…she was not very happy…(and now I’m in my late 60’s and still got carded last summer…must be all the vitamins and protein shakes!)

What an a** hole. Go buy at Amazon

This is a rough couple of weeks for Cranky Winkshaft. Brilliant snark has been a vigorous antidote to the annoying characters.

Jfff has got the Howdy-Dooty Kid with him, I see.

Ahh Dead Skunkhead John Howard (unless Batiuk change the character’s last name recently) and Jfff Murdoch—two manchildren. Where’s the other one, Crazy Harry?

Hard to tell how old Mitch is this time. He might be 2, he might be 10. Maybe we’ll get a better idea tomorrow.

I often confuse Skyler and Mitch. Their mothers highly resemble one another, so why shouldn’t their offspring? That’s Mitch with Jff, right?

I wonder what merchandise the “businessman” will give away for free this time.

Okay we already had pete being smug about the comics industry I don’t need a reup on the dosage of “Tom Bautik hates an industry he no longer undrestands”

One 2024 edition Stan Lee memorial No Prize coming up.