Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for March 16, 2024

That only works if you actually lie down to nap. Or settle down on the can.

“I might as well have—A STROKE”

“Ding Dong! Avon calling!”

girl scout cookies

“Survivors say the last thing the UPX workers saw before he opened fire was…a wink. THE WINK—of HORROR.”

“…Twinkie! Donette! HoHo! Snowball!—Get your loose Hostess products right here!”

Ed knows all the tricks.

Breaking the fourth wall, with his face!

Must have heard him on the other side of the door….that wink…dead give away ….not true!!!

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, a week’s worth of buildup to a smirk and a wink. Batty at his finest!

they don’t knock unless there delivering alcohol

I’m sure where back to comic book store humor next week . if you want to read comicbook humor that’s funny read monty since I think Monday .

The Postman Always Rings Twice

Ed finally figured it out. The moment he goes to do something else, THAT’S when his package will come.

Delivery folks don’t ring the doorbell. They toss your stuff in front of the door ( ignoring the available overhang) onto a wet spot then take a photo which they email to you to prove they did deliver ( maybe last night ) before someone came and stole it!

My nightmare Crankshaft strip: Pam asks Ed, “Hey Dad, how was your date with Mary?”, followed by the final panel of today’s strip.

Well obviously I’m buying a print of this masterpiece. I’m going to cut out panel 3, frame it, and hang it in the guest bathroom directly across from the toilet.

Clever.

Ha ha. It’s funny because Ed thinks he fooled the Gods!

We’re so blessed to live in a safe neighborhood. FedEx and UPS leave signature-only packages knowing that no one will bother them. Heck, a neighbor left their generator in their front yard overnight, and it went untouched.

Watched pot never gets smoked.

The only time I have to sign for a delivery is when I’m getting a booze delivery. And invariably they come when I’m in the bathroom

The secret word was nap!

Ed, if you knew that was going to work, why didn’t you do that five days ago?

Now we’ll never know what was in the package? Well at least we were left with this side-splitter before tomorrow’s one-off strip.

Its called winking!

Crank is winking because he knows it’s Lizard Lil at the door

Where’s Crankshaft’s hat?

Boy, you say something nice and you still get banished.

Okay, as a capstone joke that…wasn’t that bad. Mildly amusing, in the manner of those ‘40s Fleischer Superman cartoons where Clark Kent knowingly winked to the audience. Of course, the whole week could have been compressed into a Sunday strip and it would have been much more effective. Batiuk has 52 weeks to fill, though, and he’s probably contractually obligated to feature Cranky in at least 15 percent of his eponymous strips.

I’ve got this strategy down pat for sporting events. I step away from the set for 2 minutes tops and somebody scores a touchdown or hits a home run