Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 28, 2024

Rat, your penance is to avoid any contact with sentient creatures for the rest of your life (that includes some plants).

His penance is to write “Not everybody is a stupid moron”, 100 times. The Bart Simpson clause.

There is not enough “Hail Mary”s in the world for that.

God grant me the serenity to accept those who cannot think, the patience to teach those who can, and the ability to tell them apart.

Boy! That bring back memories I had forgotten for a long time now.

Maybe if he offered enough money.

It’s hard to not let them get to you.

Serenity Now!

Rat is Catholic? Who was in the confessional, Cardinal RATzinger?

There has to room for the idiots, otherwise we good people would have nothing to compare ourselves to.

I’d forgive you, Rat. And give you £1 from the poor box.

Rat, I do not think you went there with a contrite spirit!

Good luck with that.

Rat is overcome with self-justification.

Because that’s not a sin :D

Because it isn’t a sin. It is a way of life these days. Laugh at them, ignore them, satirize their ignorance for giggles but you don’t have to accept them at all.

It’s the idiots that bother me more than the stupid morons. Well, on Thursdays.

At least Rat is trying to turn over a new leaf.

Then the priest told Rat to love the poorly educated and sold him a Bible.

That doesn’t seem very Christian… the third panel, that is.

Sheez… Feels like people are less forgiving and understanding these days.

Rat’s sins are being a narcissistic brat, freeloading, putting people down, and just being a terrible rodent being in general.

I thought they gave up the confessionals years ago for some kind of sit-down with the priest? I wouldn’t know. Haven’t confessed to anything in fifty years.

We are supposed to pray for our enemies. YIKES!! I fail at that one, but . . . Good Lord have mercy on us all! Bless their heart!

“My son”?!

I actually sympathize with how Rat feels this time.

Eh, it’s a start, right?

I wouldn’t be, either.

The funniest part of this is a rat going to confession. You can fill in your own joke after that.

Isn’t that against church policy

I could be misinterpreting but it looks like Rat is standing outside the booth. (And it looks like it is indeed a full booth, not the screen-and-kneeler open-air setup that churches built in the last 25 years or so seem to prefer.)

Rat is never getting into Heaven with his attitude

Go, and sin no more.

“Cast in the name of God Ye not Guilty”

I never thought I would completely identify with a cartoon character but this one I do. I guess I will not be forgiven either, but that’s life.

Father Mulcahy was mashed, smashed, insulted, and fit to be tied.

I get it. when they were testing atomic bombs in the U.S., the ‘church’ reacted by rescinding the no meat on Fridays rule

“Nolite te b*stardes carborundorum.” It’s in Latin; it must be in the Bible.

Now go forth and pun no more…

That Sure works for me!

As the woman on a diet once said—“Bless me,Father,for I have thinned”.

Alfred Hitchcock’s I CONFESS was one of his lousiest movies

Father O’Shaugnessy had to hear confessions while the Notre Dame vs. Army football game was going. Undaunted, he hit upon the idea of streaming the game on his phone with the ear buds.

One of the parishoners leaving commented “I wonder what the priest was thinking today.”

“Oh? Why is that?” asked another.

“Instead of 10 Hail Marys he gave me a 15-yard penalty!”

Gordo4ever less than a minute agoThis is my 16 year old grand-daughter, newly minted driver, aka “Road Rage”. : )

I forgive you, Rat!

Just noticed that Pig is always watching a wooden console TV.

Cartoon’s simple: Rat was defenestrated because he interfered with the Church’s scam.

I try to think well of my fellow riders on this rock. But some of them make it harder to do than it should be.

Curse you, Pastis! Stop making me agree with Rat.

So since his sins were not forgiven, the idiots have won…

surprise rat didn’t say, “of course, he’s an idiot, too”

That’s because letting idiots get to you isn’t a sin. It’s a constant.

He will never be able to forgive himself.