Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for April 06, 2024

Ex-Lax will help.

Great programming, Max: a Mel Gibson-directed Mesoamerican drama with dialogue in Mayan, a Vin Diesel sci-fi movie, and either the third “Twilight” film or an Michelangelo Antonioni romance that doesn’t even feature an eclipse. Does Masonne Jarre know how you’re handling his investment?

What’s the over-under on this triple bill outdrawing the Butter Brinkel Comedy Festival?

“So I hear you have some films for me from 20-25 years ago that bombed? Old bomb movies are TIGHT!”

Cripes, is that a marquee or a elevated walkway?

I saw a total eclipse, in Corpus Christi in the 1970’s. The light dimmed a little, but that’s all. Unless you were looking at the sun, you’d have just thought there was a cloud.

Timing is everything…………..International Scout…..way ahead of its time.

“Pitch Black”

When that was Dan Bankhead, that was actual news.

There’s something definitely wrong here… Oh, I know… the marquee does not say “Lisa’s Story”..

It’s unclear because of the strip’s bizarrely changing timeline, but: Crank is 105 years old. Pam is 75. So, her son Scraggle-Chin is maybe 50+? And yet he says “Let’s make hay while the sun shines!” How many Skidoos you got, 23? Boy, those bobby soxers sure melt when loveboat Perry Como sings! LSMFT!!

Would the Eclipse tourists actually stick around long enough to go and watch those “classics”?

Absolutely, why the sun don’t shine………………

I’m going to karaoke with Wilber Weston enough of this eclipse nonsense

Dolores Claiborne.

Should have called it the “Apocaclipse”!

As far as I can tell, Batiuk is the only artist who did a week of eclipse strips, and these lame efforts were the best he could come up with.

I liked Apocalypto. Probably wasn’t totally accurate, but it was pretty close.

Robert Preston in THE DARK AT THE TOP OF THE STAITS—1960