Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for April 20, 2024

What?

Harry’s been depicted as being an author in Tom’s strips since 1979. 45 years ago. Lillian’s line makes zero sense here. She didn’t do anything.

Where’s Crankshaft?

Gee, let’s take a wild guess, Harry…maybe selling a lot of books?

Funny, I look at Lillian and I’m thinking she’d be more familiar with how Kharis the Mummy felt.

Dinkle … to make the NYT Best Sellers List, you would have to write significantly better than the hallucinations A.I. can create randomly piecing together snippets from past best sellers.

“I was working in the lab late one night

When my eyes beheld an eerie sight

For my monster from his slab began to rise…"

- Victor Frankenstein (err, I mean Bobby “Boris” Pickett)

I think the title of Hairy Dingleberry’s book is a rip-off of “Drums Along the Mohawk”.

A lof of people showed up to buy expensive paperweights and door stops

Victor Frankenstein??? You mean Mary Shelley

Say what kind of privileged elite clowns is has time (and money) to reads big fat bombastic book like these? Me is bearly finding time (or money) to reading anytheengs.

The main thing you need is a tv show to hawk it on. Then any godawful thing can be no. 1. It doesn’t have to make sense, you don’t even need to write it yourself. Just slap a cover on it.

Did you create a monster, Lil?

He’s ALIVE!!!!!

Have billionaire Dick Scaife buy thousands, just to get it on the pointless NYT Bestsellers List. Every year I see these at my local book sale—“Bestsellers” by O’Reilly and Coulter, donated and not just unread, but unopened. Wait, WAIT! I have a brainstorm! Hey Dingleberry, maybe WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING INTERESTING? (Tom sighs. “But that’s work!”)

If you buy a book by Harry Dinkle, be prepared for some ribbing by the local book club. Buncha pervs.

And I still absolutely do NOT believe all these people are actually buying his book!

“Fantastic! I’ve sold 14 books!”

edison lee wouldnt read this book and he loves to read

?!?!?!?

“It’s Franken-STEEN!”

Harry was always my least favorite character in FW. I’m ok seeing some of FW characters resurfacing in Crankshaft, but Dinkle is still the biggest jerk in Funky-world.

When did the Ohio Music Educators Association take over the Ohioana Book Festival? Because about the only way you’re going to move a lot of copies of a book by and about a high school marching band teacher is if the two events take place at the same time, in the same hall.

It’s a dud. It’s a dud… It’s a dud, it’s failing, it’s a dud, it’s a dud, it’s a dud, it’s a dud, IT’S A DUD! /colinclivevoice