Oh great, now I can see a Close to Home panel with a guy in hell, surrounded by phones that are ringing and he’s holding one up and it’s a telemarketer, indicating they’re ALL telemarketer calls.
I lost my job last October due to health reasons. Tried to find other jobs, but my health keeps going downhill. I have just this month filed for disability. I’m in debt since I have no income. I do have food stamps and medicaid, tho. Give me a smile, Pig, I need it…
Well, let’s see if the guy has all he needs.One Glock 9 mm….. checkOne round 9 mm ammo…..checkTwo quart bottles 180 proof happy juice…checkYup, that about covers it.
BasilBruce 11 days ago
The guy should sue both doctors so he can spend the rest of his life in comfort.
sirbadger 11 days ago
What if he ends up in telemarketer heaven?
Need coffee 11 days ago
Come the revolution, the telemarketers are on my list. I expect long lines, though.
enigmamz 11 days ago
And you don’t have to worry about parking or HOAs anymore!
iggyman 11 days ago
Dr. Pig, that, for some reason, doesn’t sound right!
iggyman 11 days ago
Maybe the poor guy has the swine flu!
Botulism Bob 11 days ago
Be glad that there is no Dr. Guard Duck. I heard he’s a quack.
Croc Holliday 10 days ago
Doctors have no crystal ball, and I don’t think they should ever tell you how long you have to live.
MichaelAxelFleming 10 days ago
My doctor gave six months to live. I told him that I couldn’t pay my bill, so he gave me another six months.
walstib Premium Member 10 days ago
Cue Cat Steven’s “Moonshadow”.
Huckleberry Hiroshima 10 days ago
Depressed and now thinking of bacon where you once was.
SNVBD 10 days ago
was it a threat or a promise?
Purple People Eater 10 days ago
Also, no more mortgage payments or income tax.
Count Olaf Premium Member 10 days ago
They’re a telemarketer.
Denver Reader Premium Member 10 days ago
That’s because he keeps getting endless texts for political donations
Ellis97 10 days ago
Hope Pig has some malpractice insurance.
Grover St. Clair 10 days ago
That’ll be 5 cents, please.
[Traveler] Premium Member 10 days ago
The doc says, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is you only have a month to live. The worse news is that I should have told you last month.
fencie 10 days ago
“I’m afraid you have only five more to live.” “Five what? Years? Months?” “Four …”
Out of the Past 10 days ago
Now I’m depressed too.
Keno21 10 days ago
Hey! Turns out that ‘life-insurance’ thing is a win!
ladykat 10 days ago
I’d be depressed too.
DaBump Premium Member 10 days ago
Oh great, now I can see a Close to Home panel with a guy in hell, surrounded by phones that are ringing and he’s holding one up and it’s a telemarketer, indicating they’re ALL telemarketer calls.
mindjob 10 days ago
Too bad those calls were the only contact he had with other humans
Linda Schweiner Premium Member 10 days ago
The doctors told my friend that people with her type of cancer didn’t live past 5 years. She is now on her 14th year and cancer-free.
Goat from PBS 10 days ago
Death > Calls from the telemarketer.
dv 10 days ago
Good news! He/she makes it through the November elections
Robert Miller Premium Member 10 days ago
I lost my job last October due to health reasons. Tried to find other jobs, but my health keeps going downhill. I have just this month filed for disability. I’m in debt since I have no income. I do have food stamps and medicaid, tho. Give me a smile, Pig, I need it…
Buoy 10 days ago
It could be worse; you could be bacon. Wait a minute….
zeexenon 10 days ago
Well, you might have left his office then fallen down an open elevator shaft. Like Monty Python’s Crucifixion, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.
Old27F20 10 days ago
Well, let’s see if the guy has all he needs.One Glock 9 mm….. checkOne round 9 mm ammo…..checkTwo quart bottles 180 proof happy juice…checkYup, that about covers it.
wildlandwaters 10 days ago
actually, Pig makes a good point there!
ArcticFox Premium Member 10 days ago
Time constrained lethality.
Out of the Past 10 days ago
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.
Cameron1988 Premium Member 10 days ago
Add in “No more bill collectors hounding you every month”
razzledazzle295 9 days ago
He should’ve gave him a cookie. He would’ve taken that and the smiley face.
fourteenpeeves 8 days ago
Let him live long enough to celebrate Biden’s re-election
Swirls Before Pine 7 days ago
At least the results of the election won’t matter.