Given Rat once went across the country in diapers to kill someone while also on trial while renacting a news story no one remembers, I cannot blame him.
When I made my First Confession, the nuns never advised us that we had to speak OUT LOUD. I went in there and started confessing to God IN MY HEAD! The Priest said, “Will you start?” Again, in my head, I began. Priest AGAIN: “WILL YOU PLEEEEZE START???” in an angry tone. After all, there were 30 kids waiting to make THEIR first confession. Of course, I had no idea why he was so angry with me and started to cry right in the confessional. Ugh. I still remember that like it was yesterday.
The nuns tried to tell us that we must be honest in the confessional because the priest had a direct line to god. Scared the hell out of me for several of my formative years! (Those nuns were full of sage wisdom – did you know that when a young lady whistles, the Virgin Mary cries?)
Get in line in that processional, Step into that small confessional, There the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is try playin’ it safer, Drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, Time to transsubstantiate!—Tom Lehrer, Vatican Rag
No one sins. One may judge an act as a sin but to do so one must contrive a complete myth and dogma and then apply a nonsense term as a label for their action. Or, more commonly, to the actions of others.
Not to worry though, one can then construct a ritual for relief of sin. Swing a dead, black cat over your head three times at exactly midnight and say oogbooga backwards and you are then free of sin once again.
In real life, I betcha the priests on the other side of the screen are taking notes on just which scared, insecure kids are ripe for a little “personal counseling”.
Remember the retort that Willie Sutton made when he was asked “Why do you rob banks?” “Because that’s where the money is!”
Why are so many pederasts attracted to the priesthood?
diazch408 6 days ago
And you’re not stopping any time soon, Mr. Rat, am I correct?
BasilBruce 6 days ago
It might be therapeutic for the Father to write a book.
sirbadger 6 days ago
Now hail Godzilla Mary 3 times.
The dude from FL (not bragging) Premium Member 6 days ago
I sinned a lot, not perfect!
Jacob Mattingly 6 days ago
Given Rat once went across the country in diapers to kill someone while also on trial while renacting a news story no one remembers, I cannot blame him.
enigmamz 6 days ago
Not good to have a standing appointment at the Confession Booth.
SNVBD 6 days ago
If you don’t sin, then Jesus died for nothing.
Doug K 6 days ago
Rat’s sin (or your sin or my sin) may be too much for any other human to handle, but it’s not too much for God to handle. It’s never too much.
Say What Now‽ Premium Member 6 days ago
You can sin all you want as long as you go to confesional and be forgiven. Such a good deal.
scote1379 Premium Member 6 days ago
Forgive me Father for I am a Rat…..
iggyman 6 days ago
Get comfortable, Father, this might take a while!
tonypezzano 6 days ago
Can you do confession via Zoom?
Jml58 6 days ago
As long as you can get absolution.
dlkrueger33 5 days ago
When I made my First Confession, the nuns never advised us that we had to speak OUT LOUD. I went in there and started confessing to God IN MY HEAD! The Priest said, “Will you start?” Again, in my head, I began. Priest AGAIN: “WILL YOU PLEEEEZE START???” in an angry tone. After all, there were 30 kids waiting to make THEIR first confession. Of course, I had no idea why he was so angry with me and started to cry right in the confessional. Ugh. I still remember that like it was yesterday.
thebashfulone 5 days ago
This must be “confession day”—check out today’s “Bliss”.
Imagine 5 days ago
Rat is Sinsational.
Ellis97 5 days ago
Sinning is Rat’s specialty.
SALUDADOG 5 days ago
Forgive me Father for I have ginned.
Walrus Gumbo Premium Member 5 days ago
Sin too much? Not according to Trump!
T-Par Premium Member 5 days ago
are you going to be funny again anytime soon?
Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member 5 days ago
Rat’s a jerk, but that priest must have led a sheltered life if Rat’s really the worst sinner that he’s ever seen.
Count Olaf Premium Member 5 days ago
❤️ it that Our Be❤️ed Rat goes to church. Dilly, Dilly Rat❤️! And may God Bless Us, Every One.
daveoverpar 5 days ago
That must be Father Jack.
CaveCat87 5 days ago
Forget it, Rat, there’s no chance of redemption for you.
chris_o42 5 days ago
My life is so boring I’d put the priest to sleep.
KageKat 5 days ago
Then send him to the Pope!
aerotica69 5 days ago
The nuns tried to tell us that we must be honest in the confessional because the priest had a direct line to god. Scared the hell out of me for several of my formative years! (Those nuns were full of sage wisdom – did you know that when a young lady whistles, the Virgin Mary cries?)
Linguist 5 days ago
I’ll keep sinning until I’m perfect at it.
kaycstamper 5 days ago
If you’ve driven a Father batty, that’s bad!
figuratively speaking 5 days ago
Who knew?
Kurtass Premium Member 5 days ago
I’ve never sinned.
delennwen 5 days ago
Get in line in that processional, Step into that small confessional, There the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is try playin’ it safer, Drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, Time to transsubstantiate!—Tom Lehrer, Vatican Rag
kjnrun 5 days ago
I love this cartoon!
Flatlander, purveyor of fine covfefe 5 days ago
cartoonist conspiracy, second confessional toon today
bchellam Premium Member 5 days ago
Once again, Stephan Pastis reveals a complete misunderstanding of the Gospel.
Goat from PBS 5 days ago
Yikes, Rat. Better get ready for… the Ninth Circle.
bilbrlsn 5 days ago
No one sins. One may judge an act as a sin but to do so one must contrive a complete myth and dogma and then apply a nonsense term as a label for their action. Or, more commonly, to the actions of others.
Not to worry though, one can then construct a ritual for relief of sin. Swing a dead, black cat over your head three times at exactly midnight and say oogbooga backwards and you are then free of sin once again.
wildlandwaters 5 days ago
for some reason I have a hard time picturing Rat going to a confessional!
kaffekup 5 days ago
I used to work at a hotel bar near a Catholic university. The priests could toss them back with the best of them.
Droptma Styx 5 days ago
Who knew Rat was a Papist?
curtlyon19 5 days ago
not true
Code the Enforcer 5 days ago
… Oh, yeah!! And, uh, COVET !! … Heavy on the COVET dere, uh Fadda!!
zeexenon 5 days ago
’Learned that from the Pope. And to put his Hail Mary recording on loop.
Phydeux 5 days ago
Rat will be condemned to Cincinnati.
KEA 5 days ago
2nd confessional toon today – sometimes I’d swear the cartoonists swap notes
Richard S Russell Premium Member 5 days ago
In real life, I betcha the priests on the other side of the screen are taking notes on just which scared, insecure kids are ripe for a little “personal counseling”.
Remember the retort that Willie Sutton made when he was asked “Why do you rob banks?” “Because that’s where the money is!”
Why are so many pederasts attracted to the priesthood?
willie_mctell 5 days ago
“I ain’t no angel; I’m full of sin, but under those conditions I would do it again.”—Billy Hughes, “Cocaine Blues”
Richard S Russell Premium Member 5 days ago
“You can’t hear me?”
“Not really.”
“Then how do you know I just asked if you can hear me?”
EXCALABUR 5 days ago
Nope!
DaBump Premium Member 5 days ago
We all do. Our only hope is the grace of God. John 3:16 and all that.
JCLV 5 days ago
Rat wasn’t confessing, he was bragging.
razzledazzle295 3 days ago
No kidding.