Scary Gary by Mark Buford for July 14, 2024

Smooth, real smooth.

Needs to work on his game a little.

The art of the putdown.

She’s way out of his league. Has he even looked at himself in the mirror?

Burn. And it’s not even sunny out.

My line always worked best (I settled on it after many previous failures and semi-failures). It was simple: “Hey. Come over here. I want to talk to you.” It was important to stay seated and let her come to me. If she actually got up and came to me we would have a great time. If she ignored me or didn’t, which was rare, I’d smile and raise my glass to her. I had many great times with that strategy. Now I’m married to a great woman who I met at a baseball game. 32nd anniversary on the 31st of this month.

I had a friend like that in my twenties. “Stop trying so hard and just be yourself” He would never listen.

Not a great opening line if l do say so myself…..

whats wrong with there teeth ?

Churchill-worthy putdown. Nicely done.

She sees him wearing dental implants

An anthill of fire ants would show her passion for him.

Bite me. :)

What happened to that vampire hypnosis?

Somebody invite Eno from The Duplex. Gary would start looking pretty good! :)

How about “Hi”? Doesn’t anyone just say “Hi”?

You see, it’s funny, because this is Gary being himself.

ZING! Haha! Good one. Good thing Gary is virtually indestructible, because Gary has been burned more times than a Fourth of July celebration.

She may have confused him with Uncle Fester. They both…. they both….uh, I’ll get back with you as soon as I think of anything they have in common.

Thats a new one.

From Whose line is it Anyway, “So, what do you weigh?”.