Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 24, 2024

Are you expecting a tip?

Anybody who would volunteer to do this kind of work must be a really nice guy.

I know someone who’d appreciate your pic-a-nic basket…

Probably no tipping for the guillotine, but the hangman would often get one in hopes he will made it painless (neck break instead of strangulation).

Don’t be expecting compliments from the ones sticking out their necks.

Nobody cares about the workmanship, professional standards or the detailed planning of a job anymore. They only care about the execution.

Any last words? Yeah, oil that blade and it’ll work much better.

Not the time to lose one’s head. He’ll never be the head of a major corporation.

How to get ahead in government.

A cutting remark. Left me speechless, and headless.

Lose your head, and you lose the game.

Any one interested in history might like to search for “Did You Know The Nazi’s Killed 16,000 People By Guillotine?” Sep 12, 2015 by Evette Champion

I got my dream job at a guillotine factory.

I’ll beheading there shortly.

After working hours slice some lunch meat for the poor: One does not survive by eating cake alone!

He’s a regular basket case

YOU took the job before finding out about the lack of pay!

They get ahead by someone losing theirs.

Stick them in sideways and get behind.

There comes a time when you must decide, upon which side of the conflict you will reside. Body, or basket.

knife work if you can get it

The guillotine was a product of the French Revolution. It was suppose to be an egalitarian method of execution. Up until then only the upper class were executed by the less painful beheading. The common fold were hanged which if not done right could be minutes of suffering as the person slowly strangled to death. Next to a firing squad the guillotine is the most humane method of execution even today.

Hurry up! Chop! Chop!

Marie Antoinette’s lips were still moving on her severed head after she met her demise. Some women never know when to shut up.

Like the handrail. Wouldn’t want the guest to stumble and fall.

I am against Capital punishment, even for crimes of treason, so that is why I would rather have the Reality Show Con Artist and his collaborators serve jail time instead.

A moldy oldy -

“On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. The priest requests face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.

Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, ‘Hey, I see what your problem is …’"

[Also told with an Englishman, Frenchman and a German]

Unfortunately, old and stale joke have become the staff of life.

A hot stake is better than a cold chop! (Curly Howard)

A tisket, a tasket.

A head in a basket.

It cannot respond to

Questions that you ask it.

If their Pro Bono work wasn’t for charity, they wouldn’t need second jobs

Once there was an executioner who backed into his guillotine. He got a little behind in his work.

not to mention you get to keep yours!

How far back in time do conservatives want to go?

Tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

Side job for lawyers.

Almost everyone thinks their job is more important than it most likely it is.

I feel your pain……

Still, it’s nothing to lose your head over.

That and getting a slice of the pie. Or making sure they get their cut.

Gallows humor.

If beheading was still the punishment for murder, carried out within a year, shown on Pay per view, there would be less murders.

All they’ve done for Moms for Liberty. Those librarians will never groom another kid. /s

You get all that public recognition, but don’t let it go to your head.

The concept of tipping the beheader was that the convicted was “paying for his/her crime”. The Church permuted that into releasing the beheader from the sin of murder. It was visible token, usually held aloft, that the condemned had “paid for the execution”, and so the executioner did not have “murder in his heart”.

The remnant of that practice is found today in the statement that someone “should pay for their crime(s)”. In addition to paying the executioner, for many years it was tradition for the condemned to pay for a musician to play Amazing Grace or some such, as an indication that God had pardoned them for their sins if they truly repented for them in their last moments. Thus, the comment about “paying the piper”.

That reminds me of a traffic sign: STOP A HEAD

In that job, heads will roll.

“If you can keep your head when all about youAre losing theirs and blaming it on you,” you have a pretty good job!

Guillotines were the first automated executioners. No special talent needed. Cleaning up the mess after a day’s work was the only reason they weren’t more popular.

pro bono? sure, 30 years ago, but u2’s best days are long gone

It wasn’t exactly pro bono – the victim was supposed to forgive the executioner, and give him a coin; in essence, paying him for his ‘service’.

Only if they’re a moyel

Let them eat cake !