Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for October 03, 2024

You know, it occurs to me that maybe this angry mob is not concerned about vulgar language, sexuality, or anti-government themes. They are in fact a dedicated group of Metric System zealots who object to Fahrenheit 451‘s title and are demanding it immediately be changed to Celsius 232.778. "And while you’re at it, can you change the name of Jules Verne’s book to 96,561 Kilometers Under the Sea?"

Um, yes, Lizard Lil, I think the angry villagers have heard about this book. Now soothe them with a quote that will suddenly make them see reason. That works on all the After School Specials!

I met Ray Bradbury and told him that the novel was a good thing!

While this strip is showing ignorant opposition to what most of us understand as a classic novel, how far do we go down the road of forcing children to read things their parents don’t want them to read? Do we insist “Heather Has Two Mommies” be read in grade school? How about “Bobby Learns To Play With Himself”? If a community deems a book not appropriate for the age level of the students being required to read it, do the teachers who “know better” make them read it anyway? Remember, even in this arc, “Fahrenheit 451” is NOT banned — it’s for sale in bookstores (as are “Heather” and “Bobby”) for parents who DO want their children to read them. Or the library!

I’m not sure I like the direction this arc seems to be going anymore.

The mob proved the writing’s fiction as reality.

What is a more dangerous lesson for a kid – foul language, or the use of fire to get rid of things someone doesn’t like?

“And what ‘wrong lesson’ might that be?”

“Um… ‘bad ones!’”

Have any of you actually read the book? Remember the fatwa issued against Salmon Rushdie for Satanic Verses? Turns out none of the outraged Muslim clergy had actually read the book. They had no idea what they were outraged about.

…and thus, the verbal barrage begins.

I was hoping for an extremely unexpected twist like the gargoyle would actually try to sell the books. When you own a seemingly insolvent enterprise, every sale might be critical. Never miss a sales opportunity. Once a salesman always a salesman.

Lillian: “Copies of the book I’m holding are for sale upstairs in my bookstore for $22.99, not including sales tax. Now, who wants a copy?”

Mob: “GET HER!”

Lillian: “RUN AWAY! YAAHHHHH!!!”

Meanwhile, in Westview, the ghost of the Dead St. Lisa warns a slumbering Les Moore to stay away from the heated exchange at Lillian’s bookstore.

Batty: “Oh, this is SURE to get me that Pew-litzer Prize!”

“That book has nothing to do about Les’ suffering while his wife was dying of cancer.”

Hey protestors, that book ain’t even part of the school’s syllabus where your kids is at. This is all some steenky sham scam by that goateed clown in your town called Less Moore. Yours kids would not travels all the way to this another town to gets a book which not in theirs school syllabus in the first place and also when that book is easily available everywhere too. You shoulda be letting Less Moore have it now for trying to scams yours kids. But noooo. It’s called… You knows what it’s called.

Lil probably never read the book

If all these people showed up to burn the place down and protest, then one of the students must have “spilled the beans“ and told them that the books were now at Lillian‘s shop.

Stunned by her charismatic appearance and brilliant argument, they all said “okay” at once, turned and walked away.