Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 21, 2024

Better rebooty.

Have you tried turning the cannon off and back on again?

Tell the Cannoneer to take a powder

Medical diagnosis: Your old ship is having prostate issues.

Nah, the finance people have been using all of the ship’s energy sources, including gunpowder, to generate Bitcoin.

BS, it is ALWAYS the network!

Check for noise on the 5V line.

When I moved here there was no internet, wired phones etc 3 years ago. Just Electric and Dish. I found Wifi from a cell tower for $175 per month which gave me about on a great day about 15 mbps…but it worked. Finally got Starlink which was 137 mbps at $120 per month, it was great. We got Fiber optic cable last week finally, at 500 mbps at $39 per month. WOW, progress in the woods! Bidens plan to upgrade internet. Thank you Biden

What about the other ship – has it got a more reliable cannon? But – only ONE gun? You have to be joking (but then, it IS a cartoon, so I suppose they are.)

Supposedly a software company in Bellevue, WA wanted to sell one of its operating systems to the Navy to run warships. Several captains testified before Congress that they would resign before subjecting their crews to a system which might blue screen and need a reboot when there was incoming missles.

User error, replace user and try again.

Install giant magnet on ship 2.

Or … the use of saltpeter in the cannons seems to have petered out.

Your cannon not performing the way it should? I hear they have a pill for that.

It’s either a hardware issue or the problem is with faulty input.

Could be the SOFTware, try to insert a blue tablet.

On old sailing ships the captain’s cabin was at the stern, where the air was freshest.

Its the angle of the dangle.

Oh, this is a classic! Were I still working, I’d have bought a print of this, framed it, and hung it in my office! Way to go, Wiley!

It must be Cannon Vista.

They saw the whites of the other sailors’ eyes and it still wasn’t close enough.

DNS. It’s always DNS

Former IT guy: My manager was having trouble with his laptop, so I pulled it out, flipped it over and shook it like it was an Etch a Sketch. Plugged it back into the docking bay, turned it on and everything was fine. His expression was priceless. (Dirty contacts)

Kinda like saying “computer error”, but everyone knows that a computer does exactly what its human input tells it.

Keep your powder dry,boys.

A premature dysfunction?

Garbage In, Garbage Out

I have not yet begun to fight! And this is why.

Haven’t looked through all 70 previous comments. Someone probably already thought of that one.

Now I’m pondering what would have happened if fighting sail had had “smart cannons”

They can’t hit the broad side of a broadside…..

I think it’s something wrong with the fishnetwork.

Nah… it doesn’t have a circuit breaker, just fuses.

Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam did it better

In one of the premiere science fiction cyberpunk novels “Snow Crash”, our hero’s electric gatling gun suffers a software glitch during combat. He withdraws from the area, puts on his cyber helmet, goes to the support site for the gun, downloads the patch and returns to battle.

Now game players may routinely do the same thing without thinking it unusual.

Give it the old 3 finger salute, that’s what you get for using Microsoft ! ;-)

Never did like Canon printers!

Trump’s Navy after he appoints a Fux Noose mushroom washer to Admiral…

Did you try opening a command prompt?

Time to roll out the gunpowder upgrade.

From the lack of concern on the other ship, I suspect they have their deflector shields up. The Enterprise fears no pirates…

It’s clearly a pow(d)er issue.

Go back to the dock, reload and come back to that point.

So the guys in the powder supply room aren’t serving enough powder to the cannoneers?

Please hold while I consult the manual…

Happens to older cannons sometimes.