B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for November 21, 2024

TFB loses it

Probably due to the extra stomachs…

Carnivores don’t walk outside their den and see meat growing everywhere there is open space, gently swaying in the breeze. Likewise, Herbivores do not have to track down and chase/kill their grassy dinners.

But humans are omnivores so we should be somewhere in between the two.

If FB is like a lot of dieters, with her personality she’s gonna be a terror between meals.

If she had to chase down the antelope herself, it would have worked.

Thus she begins her Carnivore Weight Loss Diet.

I dunno about that. Bears are not skinny.

Herbivores have a large fermentation vat in their bellies which carnivores do not need.

How to Start a Carnivore Diet (Beginners Guide). Thus begins the endless parade of diet books.

Carnivores have to chase down and kill their meals and only get to eat once or twice a week

The first weight loss programme ever.

Has anyone else noticed that over the last few years the waiting rooms of medical centers all have extra wide chairs? I find it difficult to rest both of my elbows on the armrests at the same time.

I was a pizzavore for much of my life.

Old joke: “Do you ever eat whale meat and blubber?”

“You’d blubber, too, if you had to eat whale meat!”

“I’ll have ribs with a side order of ribs”. ~ Honey Boo Boo

Animal Carnivores have to run at 30mph to get the antelope. Humans get in their car and drive to the supermarket. Animal Carnivores are thin, humans are fat!

Realization came quickly.

Must be the “kinda” cafe!!!!!

As we like to joke at the zoo, “it is because trees and shrubs don’t run very fast”

“FAT?” The proper term is “Volumetrically Challenged,” if you please.

Polar bear vs. Springbok

Carnivores have to catch their food. All that skulking, leaping and rending burns up calories. There’s a lot to be said for grazing.

…and thus keto was born.

I learned recently how cows get protein from eating cellulose (grass). They have multiple stomachs. The first stomach has bacteria to digest the cellulose. Farther along they digest a lot of the bacteria that are carried along with the sugars (digested cellulose).

Sorry, dear but you have to chase and catch them yourself.

" … and delicious."

Unfortunately, man discovered FIRE long ago …and oil, drippings, and fat (Grease ) is

one of the most addictive substances to our brains on this earth…

Just look at the things they offer at the check-out counter, and the lard butt of the

“Over-ripe Tomato” in the stretch pants in front of you who is probably grabbing

a bag of "Grese’Os and eating some as she waits in line…

It is self-inflicted…

I’m not out of shape. “Round” is a shape!

She should just get liposuction

They were given names some time ago, Grace on the left and Jane. I had to Google it;)

Logical. However, plants tend to stay home until ….. Not much tracking, stalking and chasing involved.

I hear people say, “I need to go on a diet.” But unless you are fasting, you ARE on a diet. The question is: are you on a good diet or a bad diet?

Weight management is the easiest formula in the universe: calories in vs. calories out. Eat more than you burn, you gain. Burn more than you eat, you lose. All the fad diets, pills and tricks are just window dressing and snake oil meant to relieve the dieter of responsibility.

Are you calling me a cow?

If we are omnivores, then why do we have canine teeth? I don’t think they are for kale.

OINK.

And a large Coke!