How many calories are in the food section? Is the ink fattening? Don’t those endless meatloaf and tuna-casserole recipes lead to a healthy epidemic of anorexia nauseosa?
(slaps knee while sides split) OH BOY there’s nothing as funny as an “And Since” joke! Brilliant, Tommy! Oh, that crazy Centerville! Always as funny as a plantars wart! “And Since the chicken wanted it—And since it crossed the road!”
And so begins Day Five in the competition between “Crankshaft” and “The Family Circus” to see who can craft a week’s worth of non-jokes on the dying print newspaper medium, a field that apparently only the very young and very old care about. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s denouements.
Also, are we supposed to believe that this threadbare, crowd-funded, small-town fishwrap actually pays a syndicate to run daily comic strips? Perhaps Batton Thomas, Creator of the Nationally Syndicated Comic Strip “Three O’Clock High,” lets them print old cartoons gratis if he’s allowed to work out on someone’s treadmill each day.
“We’ve had to institute some economies” is a phrase that I’ve never heard a human say or have read being written. It’s like an art to him, these phrases which use English words but nobody has ever conceived.
Mr. Skip: “Under my leadership, and with these changes I am proposing, I see the circulation of the Sentinel increasing to 14 within the next year.” Thunderous applause and approval from the Sentinel shareholders.
HIS Eagle Will Soon Soar Again! One Nation Under GOD! GOD Bless America!
He’s saving money in the comics section by only running repeats of old strips. The trouble with that is all his subscribers are old enough to have seen them the first time they ran.
Now that’s not fair to people who like to look at the food section just for the fun of it. Some of the recipes look yummier than if you made it yourself (maybe better!)
Can we pause for a moment to admire the staircase in the background? It has been the best thing to look at in this strip all week! If anything, yesterday’s staircase was even better! I am listing “Stairy” as my new favorite Cshaft character!
Been wondering what might be in the Sentinel. News section: “School Bus Backs Over Mailbox.” Food section: “This Year’s Band Turkeys Boast 50% More Salmonella.” Entertainment section: “Valentine leads with ‘Radio Ranch’; our critic says the sleeping was great.” Sports page: “Lena’s Gutter Ball Loses Tournament for Bus Drivers Team (again).” Weather: “Smoke From Crankshaft’s Chimney Fire Should Dissipate By Weekend.” Comics: “Latest Sideways Cover From AtomiK KomiX.” Home and Living Section: “New Band Mattresses Boast 50% More Bedbugs.” Business: “Centerville Sentinel on Verge of Bankruptcy.” Op-Ed: “Internet Bad, Paper Good.” Health: “Why Three Squares A Day Is Plenty.”
Haha! (^▽^) What no puzzle section? There were 3 things I liked in our paper when I was a kid…comics, recipes, & puzzles. Oddly enough never really read the news!
Bill Thompson about 1 year ago
How many calories are in the food section? Is the ink fattening? Don’t those endless meatloaf and tuna-casserole recipes lead to a healthy epidemic of anorexia nauseosa?
Jim G Premium Member about 1 year ago
“We’ve all been putting on a little weight. Heck, I haven’t been this heavy since I had both arms!”
billsplut about 1 year ago
(slaps knee while sides split) OH BOY there’s nothing as funny as an “And Since” joke! Brilliant, Tommy! Oh, that crazy Centerville! Always as funny as a plantars wart! “And Since the chicken wanted it—And since it crossed the road!”
J.J. O'Malley about 1 year ago
And so begins Day Five in the competition between “Crankshaft” and “The Family Circus” to see who can craft a week’s worth of non-jokes on the dying print newspaper medium, a field that apparently only the very young and very old care about. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s denouements.
Also, are we supposed to believe that this threadbare, crowd-funded, small-town fishwrap actually pays a syndicate to run daily comic strips? Perhaps Batton Thomas, Creator of the Nationally Syndicated Comic Strip “Three O’Clock High,” lets them print old cartoons gratis if he’s allowed to work out on someone’s treadmill each day.
B UTTONS about 1 year ago
Cut out the politics pages. That will reduce a lot of wasted resources.
wherescrankshaft about 1 year ago
“We’ve had to institute some economies” is a phrase that I’ve never heard a human say or have read being written. It’s like an art to him, these phrases which use English words but nobody has ever conceived.
Pongo ol’ Boy about 1 year ago
Mr. Skip: “Under my leadership, and with these changes I am proposing, I see the circulation of the Sentinel increasing to 14 within the next year.” Thunderous applause and approval from the Sentinel shareholders.
HIS Eagle Will Soon Soar Again! One Nation Under GOD! GOD Bless America!
The Reader Premium Member about 1 year ago
At least they didn’t drop Crankshaft.
Out of the Past about 1 year ago
This guy is major bad news.
French Persons Premium Member about 1 year ago
The centerfold will be a permanent tribute to Lisa’s Story.
phritzg Premium Member about 1 year ago
He’s saving money in the comics section by only running repeats of old strips. The trouble with that is all his subscribers are old enough to have seen them the first time they ran.
rockyridge1977 about 1 year ago
Yep ….leave those grocery store inserts out!!!!!
tcayer about 1 year ago
They should print comics just by themselves. They could sell them in book form!
JudithStocker Premium Member about 1 year ago
Now that’s not fair to people who like to look at the food section just for the fun of it. Some of the recipes look yummier than if you made it yourself (maybe better!)
jconnors3954 about 1 year ago
Yay!
Trespassers W about 1 year ago
Can we pause for a moment to admire the staircase in the background? It has been the best thing to look at in this strip all week! If anything, yesterday’s staircase was even better! I am listing “Stairy” as my new favorite Cshaft character!
lemonbaskt about 1 year ago
get margo lanes to sponsor the paper that would help
Jhony-Yermo about 1 year ago
Thanks Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis. I like Crankshaft so much I ready it each and everyday. You work IS APPRECIATED.
puddleglum1066 about 1 year ago
With MoPete buying Montoni’s, Skippy could just combine the two sections.
puddleglum1066 about 1 year ago
Been wondering what might be in the Sentinel. News section: “School Bus Backs Over Mailbox.” Food section: “This Year’s Band Turkeys Boast 50% More Salmonella.” Entertainment section: “Valentine leads with ‘Radio Ranch’; our critic says the sleeping was great.” Sports page: “Lena’s Gutter Ball Loses Tournament for Bus Drivers Team (again).” Weather: “Smoke From Crankshaft’s Chimney Fire Should Dissipate By Weekend.” Comics: “Latest Sideways Cover From AtomiK KomiX.” Home and Living Section: “New Band Mattresses Boast 50% More Bedbugs.” Business: “Centerville Sentinel on Verge of Bankruptcy.” Op-Ed: “Internet Bad, Paper Good.” Health: “Why Three Squares A Day Is Plenty.”
Mopman about 1 year ago
Ed still hasn’t moved all week, nor has his expression changed.
Was there any point to his talking about the comics section? Nope.
WilliamVollmer about 1 year ago
What brings in more revenue, the comics, or, the food section?
EXCALABUR about 1 year ago
Canceled our paper after 40+ years. The company did not care about customers that lived outside the city limits.
ToneeRhianRose 6 months ago
Haha! (^▽^) What no puzzle section? There were 3 things I liked in our paper when I was a kid…comics, recipes, & puzzles. Oddly enough never really read the news!