Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for October 01, 2024

So Lizard Lil addresses the crowd from the window. “Friends! This blameless man has just learned to read! He approves of The Book! Will you not spare him?”

Crowd: “No! GIVE US BARABBAS!”

(And yet, you just know that Batiuk will come up with something more pretentious and absurd than that.)

“You snored through ‘Mrs Bushka Spends a Week Opening an Envelope’! You constantly looked at your watch during ‘Funky Spends a Week Walking Through Lorain County’! You stared baffled and confused during ‘Summer Spends a Week Walking Through Lorain County’! Do you DARE—to see—‘LILLIAN STARES AT A BOOK FOR A DANG WEEK’?!”

Is she going to throw the book at them?

“Oh, heavens to Betsy! Is this what everybody’s so twitterpated about?”

Boy, today’s strip sure moved the story along, didn’t it?

Why am I thinking of Cinderella???

Hmm.. My copy of that book is a small paperback. What is that tome she’s holding?

Let me guess. Lillian will soothe the savage beasts by taking the book to the window and reading it out loud to the crowd.

Protester: “Gee, that book is pretty good! Reading books is much better than burning them!”

Please, Batyuk. Don’t do it.

Maybe we should hear from the protesters by asking for an explanation about just what they are protesting against? Is it the novel, which has been sold openly in Westview and Centerville for decades until now? If so, why protest now, and what’s their objection to it? Or are these people in Centerville objecting to Les’s teaching this book in Westview, violating the school board’s policy of choosing the books to be taught? If so, why are they protesting at the bookstores instead of at the school, or far better, at Les Moore’s house? And just what is it about this novel that the protesters find offensive for their kids to read? Adult language? These would be important things to be brought up in this story arc, which is why they won’t be.

Ha ha ha. Great parody. Ban Booksmeeth for book which is available everywhere. It’s called banning. Haw haw haw. Genius comedy me says.

So the midnight placards protesting mob is not want to bans the book anymore but now is want to ban the bookstore instead?

Yeah so what if that book be available everywhere else on this planet anyways? Just bans this particular bookstore and all is well see.

Every day the goalposts is keeps changing without any rhymes or reasons and everyday this steenkshow is keeps getting more and more incredibloviatingly preposteridiculudicrous.

This is gots to be some sortsa steenky parody of it all. Otherwise it’s called writing.

Gotta love the GOP, no?

She should take a pic of all of them to give to police as one of them is probably the fire bug.

Ban Batiuk’s books-myth.

Time to turn on the lawn sprinklers!

It’s time the lesson of “Fahrenheit 451” be told.

\\//_

I hope she starts dropping those 10 pound books on their heads. Nah, that would be too interesting and funny.

And now, she’ll calm the mob by reading them Fahrenheit 451 as this Festival of Stupidity lurches through yet another week.

This could have been a little edgier (okay, not much) if it was a book people were actually trying to keep off children’s reading lists instead of some 70 year old snoozer. I guess that was out because you might possibly have to consider both sides.

C’est la vie!!!!!!

It does seem odd to not consider the books that people are actually trying to ban, and not to ban entirely, but just to ban from school libraries, as inappropriate for children. It would be interesting if this were all a dream sequence.

geez, why’s this banned book so bad that they have to be this drastic? :\

Gee, I wonder what this whole story line could be about?

Sure are dragging this out!

if ed and lilian ran down the stairs naked you would have to call the epa in to clean up the vomit

Not much plot progress from yesterday.

I’m writing a novel called FAHRENHEIT 154,where books come to life like in the Warner Brothers cartoons; and burn the protesters.

Too bad Cranky can’t drive his school bus down from tthe 2nd floor and scatter the crowd.But he’d be willing to try

I’m guessing none of those people have ever shopped at her store anyway.

So someone set the store on fire, but the Fire Department’s Crankshaft substation was too fast at putting it out, so they managed to organize a protest at 11 o’clock at night? And they JUST moved the books there. How did anyone even know?

The irony is that the book is about banning books! It’s called writing! PLEASE TAKE NOTE, PULITZER COMMITTEE!

Bring in Dinkle! He’ll show you some Band Books! That’ll disperse the crowd.

Does she not own a 12 gauge sawed-off? Everyone should! Step outside and ask those vermin if they don’t have somewhere else to be.

Throw the book at him!

So, where is Jff ‘The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself’ Murdoch?

The Murdochs must have noticed something by now. Most people would call 911. Will the Murdochs? Very doubtful. I’m guessing it won’t fit the story Batty is trying to tell.

Ed: Dang, I picked a bad day to forget my flamethrower drone.

Assuming Lillian is “the Booksmith,” is the crowd’s chanting really just a demand that she start using deodorant?

WHY HASN’T ANYONE CALLED THE STINKING POLICE!

C’mon, Lillian. You know what to do. You’ve destroyed lives before. Just pretend the protestors are all Lucy.

He may be able to read now but he will still need help with the big words.

Sounds like “Return of Frankenstein”

She breaks out the bullhorn and tells everyone “..no problem!…I’ve removed Fahrenheit 451 from the building and replaced it with stock of various magazines published by Larry Flynt and some of his competitors…”

Book him, Dan-O!

Why am I thinking hitler??

If an apple a day (thrown hard enough) keeps the doctor away, the way to keep away book banners is….?